Tears
by Kate Maxwell
Summary: Scott discovers John sick up in Thunderbird Five, but this leads to more complex situations being let out. How will this change the family? Puppet series. Chapter Seven Now Online
1. Chapter 1

**_How will I start tomorrow without you here?  
_**  
The young man sighed deeply as he looked out of the window looking out into the vastness of outer space. Together with the rest of the team, they were switching around the control room of Thunderbird Five so that it could either run automatically or by a remote computer down on Tracy Island.

'_Wish you were here John_' He thought before disappearing back under the control panel to finish the job they had all began.

'_And just think that only a month ago we were all together until you came back here... where did we go wrong?_'

**_Who's heart will guide me while the answers disappear?_**

The young man coughed as he rose up out of bed and looked out at the view in front of him, the cold reaches of outer space. Shortly before coming back from his break, John had gone out on a rescue with his brothers, it went as any other normal rescue but was soon over and he was sent back up here to run the space station of their fleet.

Sometimes and only sometimes John longed for the company of his family and to be around them on their tropical island paradise instead of being up in geostationary orbit watching over the planet's communication system waiting for a call asking for International Rescue's help with some disaster or other.

Sighing with another muffled cough, he dug out a clean uniform before heading for the shower to refresh himself the best he could ready for another long day of staring out into the vastness of outer space. As he was waiting for the shower to warm up, John sneezed and rested the back of his hand on his forehead. _Oh Great_ He thought to himself feeling that there was a temperature, John must have caught a cold while out on the rescue but only now decided to emerge and infect him.

Once his shower was over and was changed into the fresh uniform, John headed into the small kitchen of his quarters for some breakfast and hopefully something to help him get rid of this cold.

Armed with a coffee and a simple breakfast that he could find, he sat down at the command desk of Thunderbird Five and read over the system's output of the station and its systems. Seeing that all was normal and everything across the communication systems was all quiet, for a change, John decided to head back to his quarters for some television while finishing his breakfast, he was half way there when...

"Calling International Rescue, come in International Rescue" The radio blared into life, all around it the computer focused on locating the source of the call ready to send the co-ordinates to the main computer for when John would report it down to Tracy Island.

Pushing away all of the sorrow and self pity that had been building up inside of him since he discovered that he was coming down with a cold before picking up the microphone and answered the call.

"This is International Rescue, go ahead" John said in his normal voice and stood ready to take the information from the young man on the radio.

An earthquake had hit Los Angeles; this shook a small apartment block off it foundations trapping the residents on the higher floors. There were over thirty people trapped, but the manager was unsure due to the Christmas season.

"Ok just relax and if any changes happens, then contact me as soon as you can" John said into the microphone and checked his notes.

"You got it, thanks again" The young man said and the frequency went silent.

John sighed deeply and turned the frequency to call the island. "Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island" He called and waited for their response.

**_Is it too late? Are you too far gone to stay?_**

_**  
**It should have been then, we should have noticed that something was wrong! But we didn't... I'm so sorry John... _

_**  
Best friends forever, should never have to go away! **_

Coughing down on his bed John coughed hard until he found it difficult to breathe. He had managed to hide the fact that he was coming down with a cold from his family.

From what he had heard of the rescue, it went quite well without any further complications and only necessary contact to John or base. As he rested against his pillows fully dressed in the blue International Rescue uniform except for the hat, John could feel the increase of his temperature and hoped that this was only a 24-hour bug.

Falling asleep from the unknown exhaustion that had suddenly hit him hard, John didn't hear the beeping tone of the communication system of Thunderbird Five. Turning over and subconsciously pulled his blankets out from under him before falling deeper asleep.

_**What will I do? You know I'm only half without you!**_

It wasn't until a few hours after everyone had settled back down on the island that I figured it out, but I guess that you were deep into your fever by then. 

**_How will I make through?_**

Jeff went over one of his reports for his aerospace business when he heard footsteps entering from the passageway, looking up from the long report he saw Scott entering the large living area. "Is everything ok son?" Jeff asked as he took his glasses off.

"Do you remember how John sounded when he called down about that rescue we just went on?" Scott asked his father.

Jeff frowned and tried to remember what John sounded like. "I don't understand what you mean Scott," He said confused into what his eldest son was thinking.

_**If only tears could bring you back to me!**_

_**  
**It was then that I realised that over the years that Dad was slowly getting more and more distant from you, I guess that is why you loved being up here in Thunderbird Five so much, to keep away from him. _

_Is it because he saw so much of Mom in you? Just like with Alan?_

Is it because you didn't want him to cause more pain than he had already been through since her death?****

If only love could find a way!

Scott inwardly sighed and wished that his father to get over whatever John had ever done to him to get over it. "He didn't sound right... if it is ok I am going to call him and check" He said with a slight stern tone he used when it came to the well bring of his brothers.

Jeff looked back down at his reports before looking back up at his eldest son. "Ok Scott, I want to go and check on Brains" He said getting up from his desk and left the room heading towards the laboratory underground.

Scott watched his father leave the room, "Tracy Island to Thunderbird Five, come in" He called into the radio once he took his father's chair. As he waited for his brother to return his call he didn't hear Virgil enter the room looking to practise on the piano. "Tracy Island to Thunderbird Five" Scott repeated wondering where John was in the space station.

"Something up Scott?" Virgil asked as he settled down at the piano wondering why Scott was trying to contact John up on the space station.

"Just something didn't feel right earlier when John called down about the rescue at Los Angeles" He said as he leaned back against the back of the tall chair. Virgil warmed up as he went over what Scott had just said,

"He did sound a little strange... how come he hasn't answered?" He asked not starting the main melody he was going to play, or itching along fingers wanting to escape into the musical notes of the piano.

"I'm not sure Virgil, he isn't usually too far away from the main control room" Scott said as he moved forward to try the radio again.

_**What I would do, what I would give if you**_

It was then that I started to worry, apart from that time when we had the long range interference problems, you had never failed to respond to our calls. 

But what happened next was well unexpected...

**Return to me, someday, somehow, someway!**

Jeff had headed to his room for a shower and change of clothes to freshen up after his visit to the laboratory. Brains was working on a formulae to increase the power of the fuel the Thunderbirds used so it could either carry more or less depending on the craft.

Sighing deeply as he finished getting undressed before stepping into the shower cubicle, Jeff slowly let down some of the mental barriers he kept up while around his family and when it came to running the large company that grew everyday. As the hot water seeped into his skin or trickled down his back relaxing the tense muscles around his shoulders and across the spine, which was stiff from the morning's paperwork.

**_If my tears could bring you back to me!_**

In the office the small group was growing, Alan had come from his room in search of one of the books John had written for basic programming only to find Scott and Virgil standing around, Scott was in what was usually their father's chair while Virgil was leaning against the desk, both were facing towards the portraits.

"Something up?" He asked confused to what was wrong with his brothers.

Scott looked up from where he was about to try to contact John once again. "Oh hey Alan, we're just trying to contact John but he doesn't answer... could it be possible that long range communication is out?" He asked his younger brother.

"There might be space interference, John and myself have been trying something new with a couple of systems aboard the space station... let me try something" Alan said moving over to where Scott was sat.

"Um, sure Alan just don't let Dad hear that you've been playing around with the station's programming" Scott said getting up off the chair that was soon filled by Alan. "Wasn't just me" He muttered as he went over the communication panel.

"This should work, we set cameras up on our last change over but we had never had the chance to check the network between here and Thunderbird Five... If this doesn't work then that means that there is a long range communication problem" Alan said as he glanced over at John's portrait.

"You got me worried here Alan! Just make sure that you keep those cameras up in Thunderbird Five" Virgil said trying to lighten the mood.

Alan smiled slightly, "Don't worry Virgil, I won't put on in your shower, you might break it with your horrid singing" He said as the beeping from the computer went over what Alan had just inputted, "Think that's got it!" 

John's portrait disappeared to reveal the control room of Thunderbird Five. "Nice work, can you move the camera around the room?" Scott asked.

"I should think so, we did program more than one in different places of the station..." Alan said as he pressed a few commands into the computer, the screen flickered as it moved left and right, the camera showed the control room which was quiet and empty.

"He's not there... so where can he go?" Virgil asked wondering where John could have gone on the space station.

Alan thought for a while looking at the monitor that displayed the empty and oddly quiet control room. "What time is it?" He asked in a quiet voice as he rested his head in his hands with his elbows on the edge of the console.

Scott and Virgil looked at each other wondering what their younger brother was thinking. "How is that going to help?" Scott asked the question that went through both Virgil and himself's mind.

"If I know the time then I can take a guess to where John will be in the station" Alan said with a sigh, hands covering his face.

Scott looked at his watch, "It has just gone two," He said as he moved back over to perch on the edge of their father's desk.

Alan nodded and flipped a few switches and the camera changed to the doorway of their dormitory up in their quarters of the space station. "We usually crash in the dorm about a hour after a rescue" He said making the camera zoom in to get a better view of the dormitories.

_**I've cried you a notion if you would sail on home again**_

_We were doing so well, we were so close to finding out why you weren't returning our callings... _

_Then he stepped in.._

_**Wings of emotion will carry you and all they can!**_

Jeff walked back into his office wanting to continue with his paperwork. "What is going on here?" He asked with a frown on his face seeing three of his sons sat around his desk.

"We're checking on John, Alan has made contact with the station and have been using its security systems to find him" Scott said and pointed at where John's portrait, rising to his feet at the same time.

"It looks like we were right to worry" He added with a sigh as he looked at the screen to see that Alan had maxed out the zoom to fill the monitor with the image of John in a fevered sleep.

Jeff couldn't believe what he was seeing, his third son covered in sweat clinging to the blanket covering him. As the blanket moved he saw the blue International Rescue uniform, _No wonder he's sweating... he is in full uniform _Jeff thought to himself. "The heating must be broken up there and John is dressed in full uniform as procedure... this is nothing to worry about" Jeff said and turned his back to the portraits.

Virgil and Alan looked at the portrait a little closer before looking at each other and knew that what their dad said made them think that maybe there wasn't nothing to worry about but one look at their eldest brother told them that it was something to worry about.

Scott's arms were crossed tightly against his chest and his blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "Alan, check the temperature readout for Thunderbird Five" He said to his youngest brother, who spun in the chair and did what his eldest brother had ordered.

The camera flickered and switched out to a readout of Thunderbird Five, the numbers flashed across the screen until the temperature readouts were highlighted. "Here they are Scott, they look normal" Alan said as he read over the numbers.

Virgil looked at the readouts, "So its not the temperature... are you going up there?" He asked Scott, seeing that he was looking at the readouts also.

"I'm not an astronaut, but that is my... our brother up there" Scott said with a sigh, he was partly trained as an astronaut to fly under the command of either John or Alan. "If Alan is willing to go then we are going up there and bring John back here," He said ignoring that his father was in the room.

"I'm ready! He didn't look so good, we need to make sure that its nothing serious... but where could he get sick?" Alan asked leaving the chair and joined Scott at his side.

**_Just like love guides you and your hear will chart the course_**

_Where indeed!_

_When Alan said that I tried to figure it out... I still am! _

_You only went on one rescue and helped Virgil with the people we rescued from the collapsed mining tunnel in Asia, you seemed fine then._

**_Soon you'll be drifting to the arms of your true north!_**

"I don't know, we need to get up there... Virg, can you run the office?" Scott asked.

"Now hang on boys! John looked fine and with both of you off to that space station, what if a rescue comes up? I won't allow it!" Jeff rose his voice up and reminded his three sons that he was in the room. "If there is something wrong with John then he will contact us to say that there is something wrong that needs to be dealt with" He carried on with his stern tone.

Scott frowned, "I don't buy that! I'm going with Alan with or without your permission" He said nodding at Virgil, who sat behind the desk. Alan had moved to sit on the couch ready to go.

Jeff frowned he knew that Scott was as stubborn as he was and once he had his mind set on doing a task then he wouldn't change his mind until the task was complete. Jeff sighed deeply and ran a hand along his face, sighing as he did so. "Go! If it ends up that you are wasting time then we need to talk when you get back" He said in his stern voice with a hint of tiredness.

Scott nodded and felt his stomach tighten in unknown anxiety that was the worry for his brother up in the space station. He moved to sit next to Alan, "Ready to go" He spoke with his emotionless voice although his insides were anything but emotionless.

_**Look in my eyes, you'll see a million tears have gone by!**_

_See the fight we had to do to get you off the space station you love so much?_

_What did you do to Dad to make him dislike you so much? _

_Hope you can answer that question one day..._

**_And still they're not dry!_**

"Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, come in" Alan called and hoped for some kind of response. Scott sat next to him in silence, holding the arms of the chair he was sat in tightly.

Static filled the open channel.

"Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five please respond" Alan called again as he held the orbital pattern around the space station.

_**If only tears could bring you back to me! **_

John groaned, coughed violently before tucking himself deeper into his blankets seeking the warmth they offered. He tried to focus on getting out of his bed but as he opened his eyes, the artificial lights of the space station made pain shoot down his optic nerves making him close his eyes to hide away from the bright light.

"Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, John respond please" Alan's voice echoed throughout the silent space station making John wince because of the noise added to the headache that had been increasing the more he woke up.

Stiffly he moved around the bed till he had his feet on the ground, John moved the blanket so it was warped around him tightly before groaning and rising to his feet.

Slowly and strangely stiff along his legs John reached forward step by step slowly, using the sides of the walkways as support. He slowly walked along the small walkway that usually took a few seconds walk felt like hours to his ill body. _This is more than a cold! _John thought to himself as he finally made it to the quietly buzzing control room.

"Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, requesting permission to dock" Scott's voice had replaced Alan's.

John coughed and opened the channel, "T-Thunderbird Five t-to T-Thunderb-bird T-Three" He gasped, his throat hoarse from the violent coughing that been shaking his body.

Alan's voice returned on the radio,"John? You sound awful! Are you ok?" He asked as John tried to make sense of the controls in front of him.

"No... thought it was a cold but I feel just horrible" John croaked then realised that they were in an orbit around the station.

"Can you activate the tunnel? We're coming in" Scott's voice spoke up across the open communication channel.

John looked at the controls through tired vision, "S-Scott... I can't" He said with a sigh, rubbing his eyes with a shaky hand.

"Its ok John, its ok! We can get in just fine, we will have to do it manually that's all" Scott's voice said reassuringly.

John nodded and coughed feeling his stomach cramp up, "O-ok Scott" He croaked before heading back to his room.

_**If only love could find a way**_

Alan and Scott glanced at each other when the radio went silent. They both knew their brother was sick, seriously sick.

"Contact base while I go over and activate the tunnel manually" Scott said getting up out of the chair and started to walk over to where the spacesuits were stored.

"Ok Scott..." Alan said as he went over some of the instrumentation. "Scott..." He muttered watching the readouts of the rocket.

Scott stopped near the doorway, "It will be ok Alan, John will be fine" He said keeping his back to his younger brother before heading out to change into his spacesuit.

"Thunderbird Three to base, come in" Alan called and waited for Tracy Island to respond. He heard the small alarm sounding that informed the pilot that the airlock had been opened.

_**What would I do, what I would give if you**_

"Go ahead Alan" Jeff answered the call, opening the channel at the same time.

"We have reached Thunderbird Five, Scott has gone across to activate the tunnel" Alan reported wondering how their father would handle that piece of information,

Jeff nodded and let his son continue, "Carry on son" He spoke softly silently wondering what was wrong with either the space station or its operator.

"We made contact with John, he was unable to operate the tunnel from his end... he sounds really bad Dad" Alan continued sounding worried for his older brother.

"Explain Alan" Jeff said, resting his head on the back of his hands which were formed into fists and held up his head though his eyes never left Alan's portrait.

Alan deeply sighed and quickly found words to explain to his father what they had heard from John. "We have not got much detail on John's state of health... I am waiting for Scott to give me the ok to start docking" He said taking a breath.

"Would you like me to stay up here or switch Thunderbird Five to remote computer if John is sick?" Alan asked waiting with baited breath for his father's reply.

Jeff thought for a while, they could not afford to have the space station offline for long in case a rescue call came through. But if John was as bad as Alan seemed to think he was then he would not be able to get Thunderbird Three back to earth safely.

"We have been meaning to test the adjustments to the remote systems of Thunderbird Five" Jeff said thoughtfully before closing his eyes and sighed. "Very well Alan but contact me immediately when you have more information" He added opening his eyes to look at his youngest son.

"F-A-B Dad" Alan said before closing the channel.

Jeff sighed and heard Kyrano come in carrying his tray of freshly brewed coffee.

_**Return to me, someday, somehow, someway!**_

Scott locked the airlock behind him and waited for the pressure to level out, allowing him to breathe without the aide of the space suit's supply. After a few seconds a tone sounded which allowed him to take the helmet of the space suit off.

Once that was done Scott walked into the main station, "John?" He called listening hard over the noise of the command room for any sound of his brother. _Might be in his room... _Scott thought to himself as he made his way over to the computer.

"Thunderbird Five to Thunderbird Three! Begin docking sequence!" Scott called on the radio over to his younger brother.

F-A-B Scott! How's John?" Alan asked across the radio as Scott entered a few commands into the computer.

"I'm about to go and find him Alan" Scott said as he went over what he had entered into the computer, "Ok, you should be able to dock with no problem!" He said happy that he had set up the docking tunnel correctly.

"F-A-B Scott, see you in a minute!" Alan said before the radio went silent.

Scott sighed and looked around the control room, wondering where to start looking for his brother. "Might as well start with the bedroom..." He muttered and headed over to the bedrooms of Thunderbird Five.

**_If my tears could bring you back to me!  
_**  
When John had heard that Scott and Alan was going to start docking to come and see him, more likely that Alan would be left here while John went back to earth until this bug was gone.

He had barely got to the bathroom when the cramping in his stomach got too much and John lost all that he had eaten for breakfast down the toilet, _What is wrong with me? _He thought to himself as the heaving turned dry before his world turned black.

**_I've held you close inside the words I've only whisper before_**

Scott entered the bedroom to see that there were signs of it being slept in but there was no sign of John.

"John?" He called as he walked around the small room, looking for any sign of his brother. As he walked past the bathroom he saw a pair of boots just visible from the doorway.

"John!" Scott called as he rushed over to the bathroom and bent down near John's unconscious form, he checked his vitals and could feel that he was burning up but his hands were cold to the touch. "John... come on wake up" Scott said softly shaking John's shoulders softly.

John groaned feeling himself slowly waking up but wished he had stayed asleep, away from the aches and pains of his ill ridden body. He slowly opened his eyes and once his vision had cleared, John realised that the blurred figure was his oldest brother Scott.

"S-Scott?" He spoke with a croak confused to why Scott was up in Thunderbird Five when the eldest Tracy son usually disliked being up in the space station.

"It's ok John, come on..." Scott said helping his brother up slowly onto his feet, supporting his weight of his brother. "Wow bro... you need to loose some weight" He grunted to John as he led him out of the bathroom back into the bedroom.

"W-Where?" John muttered as Scott settled him down on the bed.

"John, are you sure you're ok?" Scott asked as he checked John's temperature with the back of his hand and felt the same fever-like temperature.

Apart from being covered in sweat, John was even more pale than usual with his skin while but his cheeks were flushed red from the high temperature. When he coughed his throat sounded rubbed raw from either the coughing earlier or when he had lost his breakfast.

He coughed once again, "N...no" John managed to gasp breathing deeply along the red raw throat.

"Scott?" A loud voice called making John wince.

Scott got up and poked his head out of the bedroom seeing Alan had just come into the space station looking around for his elder brother. "Shh Alan, we're in here" He called in a half whisper waving Alan over.

Alan walked over, "Why are you whispering?" He asked keeping his own voice low though he had no idea why.

Scott nodded his head to the room behind him, "I found John unconscious in the bathroom... I think we better get John back on earth now!" He whispered and turned to look at his brother on the bed.

Alan bit his lip, "Ok... I'll work on switching Thunderbird Five on to remote... will you be ok to get John across to Thunderbird Three?" He asked wincing a little to hear John cough harshly.

"yeah I should be fine... just hope that this is a bad case of the flu" Scott whispered before going back into John's room.

Alan sighed and headed off back into the control room to start switching Thunderbird Five to its remote systems so that they could use the systems while down on earth when they needed to, especially if a rescue came up.

Scott sat down next to John, who had started to shiver as he sat upright on his bed with h is arms warped around him hoping for some extra warmth. "John? You ready to go home?" He asked quietly figuring out how John reacted to Alan's voice echoing around the station that he had a bad headache.

John looked at his brother tiredly, "Home? I thought this is my home" He said confused and just wanted to sleep to keep awake and away from his ill ridden body.

"No John... I meant home, back on the island with the others" Scott with a soft smile and moved closer to his brother. _The high temperature must have confused him..._ He thought before inwardly sighing to himself.

John looked at him oddly before yawning with a wince to the ache of his throat. "If you say so..." He muttered lightly.

Scott frowned worried that there was more to John than just this bad case of the flu but it will have to wait until it had gone. "Come on, let's get you over to Thunderbird Three!" He said lifting John's arm up and moved it along the back of his shoulders.

"I can walk Scott" John muttered as he tried to get up on his feet but wobbled and found himself being supported by his brother.

"Sure you can and Parker can dance the Can-Can" Scott said with a slight smile, before helping John across the room and into the control room.

John coughed hard leaning heavily on Scott making Alan spin around on the chair before spinning back around to look at the large panel in front of him. "D-D-don't Scott..." John gasped fighting to get his breath back.

"Sorry... How is it coming Alan?" Scott asked as John and himself made their way across the room over to the airlock.

"Few more minutes then all controls can be accessed from the island" Alan said as he worked hard between the two large computers with using the wheels on the chair.

"Ok, I'll get John settled down into Thunderbird Three" Scott said opening the airlock with his free hand.

"Ok Scott, think we better keep John awake till we know what is wrong with him" Alan said sounding concerned for his brother as they all had the flu before but whatever John had seemed different from the flu and that worried him.

Scott looked over at John and shook him gently, "He's right John, come on" He said earning a moan and a tired glare from his younger brother, before helping him through the airlock and across to Thunderbird Three. 

**_For one more chance, for one last dance inside of me!_**

Virgil walked into the lounge to find his father in deep thought instead of working on the small piles of paperwork lying in front of him.

"Is something wrong Dad?" He asked wondering what was worrying Jeff so badly that he couldn't focus on his work, even though Virgil remembered hearing Thunderbird Three lift off earlier.

Jeff looked up from the paperwork he had been staring at hoping that if he looked at it long enough that it would either disappear of fill itself out. He saw his second eldest son standing just in front of the desk, "Sorry Virgil, I was miles away... did you say something?" Jeff asked coming out of his daze.

"I just wondered if you heard from Scott and Alan?" Virgil asked wondering if everything was ok with Thunderbird Five and his younger brother, John.

"Alan reported that they were about to depart... that was about ten minutes ago, when they got up there Scott found John unconscious" Jef said with a sigh even though his face was stern and serious, his inner feelings were worried and confused to what could be wrong with his middle son.

"Unconscious?" Virgil exclaimed more worried for his brother, "Do they know what is wrong with him?" He asked hoping that it was nothing serious.

"Scott thinks it is a bad flu but I heard in his voice that there must be more to that" Jeff said looking up at the clock before looking back at his son. "Brains is down preparing the sick bay" He added and then worked on clearing the desk of all of the irritating paperwork.

Virgil nodded and left the lounge to see if the genius behind the Thunderbird machinery needed any help into preparing the sick bay.

_**That I would like and love!**_

Scott had kept John awake all throughout the long flight from Thunderbird Five back to base on Tracy Island. He had talked of everything he could think of that he thought his brother might like listening to but, he was quickly running out of topics.

One that had had made Scott worry was John's breathing just before they entered earth's atmosphere, this forced Scott to give John a oxygen mask to help him breath though John had tiredly and weakly fought Scott off without succession.

They were now on final approach with Tracy Island at last, Scott could only stay with John as Alan focused on landing Thunderbird Three safely and securely.

"Bet you Grandma has started cooking and busy trying to outdo herself on her own cooking" Scott joked with John, who just continued to breath raspily through the oxygen mask fighting to keep awake when all he wanted to do was to go asleep until whatever had infested his body was gone.

A small thud and echoes sounded through the large rocket, "Scott, we've landed safely! We better get John to the sick bay" Alan's voice came from a small radio unit on a computer nearby.

"Ok Alan, we better take the service tunnels to the main complex... make it easier for John than rather take the couch back up to the lounge" Scott answered undoing his own restraints before undoing John's. He shouldered the oxygen pack before helping and supporting John out of the chair, careful not to knock the mask or its tubes.

"Ok Scott... I'll meet you there, got to run the scan" Alan said as taping could be heard from where Alan was closing Thunderbird Three down securely.

"Let's go John, I think you know that this is not the flu" Scott muttered quietly to John as they worked their way out of the large rocket and into the hanger.

**_If only tears could bring you back to me!_**

Virgil and Brains looked over the computer readouts from the monitor in front of them. "I-I-it looks ok h-h-here Virgil" Brains said going over the data before turning around to look at Virgil then around the sick bay.

"Think you're right Brains, what do you think could be wrong with John?" Virgil asked wondering if the young genius had any idea what could be wrong with their brother.

Brains looked at the second eldest son and back to the computer, he sighed. "F-from wh-wh-what I-I-I have been d-d-told, it seems like a re-re-normal cold or a bad flu... b-but I-I-I won't be able to say for s-s-sure until we h-have ru-ru-run a s-scan" He said trying his best to keep the stutter down as he typed a few things down on the computer in front of him before the quiet whoosh of the door got the attention of the room's occupants.

Alan entered the room and was followed closely by Scott supporting John, who wore an oxygen mask and was almost asleep on his own feet.

Virgil inwardly frowned seeing how bad his brother was, "Bring him over to the bed Scott" He said in his normal voice and saw John wince in the loudness of his voice.

Scott helped move John across the sick bay and lowered him down gently on the bed. "We have to keep our voices low, Al... turn the lights down" He half whispered as he unhooked the oxygen kit from himself and attached it to the diagnostic bed.

Brains looked blank as he worked on starting the scan to see what was wrong with the middle son of his friends, Jeff's, family. The computer beeped before it started recording the data from the diagnostic bed where John laid.

Alan had had the blinds closed making the room darker as the sun fought through them, but the light was still fine for everyone to see clearly inside the sick bay.

Scott could only watch as the diagnostic bed was following its programming. Virgil stood beside him and hoped that it was just the flu but when he had seen John being supported by Scott had worried Virgil deeply.

"How is it going Brains?" A gruff voice asked from the doorway making the boys turn to face the source of the voice.

Brains did not remove his eyes from the monitor, "The systems are scanning through the results of the scan but it is taking some time..." He said as Scott moved over to sit next to John to keep him awake as Brains finished his work on the computer.

Jeff shrugged off the looks from his sons and moved closer to Brains and the computer. "What is taking so long Brains?" He asked ignoring the coughing coming from the bed that held his middle son.

John coughed violently and tried to move to his side, the mask had moved off his face. "Easy John! Take deep breaths" Scott ordered softly, holding onto his brother's shoulder with one hand while moving his mask back over John's face to help him breathe.

Virgil moved and rested his hand on Alan's shoulder for support, "It'll be ok Al" He whispered into his youngest brother's ear.

Alan nodded, "O..ok.. I..I should call Gordon and let him known what's going on" He said as his aqua loving brother had gone off to the mainland for a few days to compete in one of the sports that Gordon loved so much.

Virgil watched the youngest of the Tracy family leave the sick bay, "I'll go with him" He decided, telling Scott before following Alan back to the main lounge.

Scott watched Alan closely followed by Virgil leave the sick bay, leaving just Brains, Jeff, John and himself in the quiet room. The only sounds were John breathing deeply and ragged, and the tap of the keyboard as Brains continued to find what was wrong with John.

_**If only love could find a way!**_

John fought through the thick fog blocking his senses, he found it hard to breathe and felt really cold though his cheeks flushed red. He could feel a mask on his face that he roughly guessed was top help his breathing but he didn't truthfully knew what was wrong with him or where he was.

When John tried to climb up, his muscles everywhere in his body protested against the movement while he felt a hand rest on his right shoulder. "Easy John" A familiar voice spoke quietly helping him move up with his pillows holding him up.

"S-scott? W-Whe..." John croaked from under the mask, he could feel the cold oxygen touching his flushed skin.

"We're in the sick bay on the island" Scott said quietly helping John take the mask off before helping his brother take a drink of water.

"I...island? H-how?" John asked in the same croaky and tired voice, resting heavily against the pillows and shivered.

"Cold John? Hang on" Scott said in the same hushed tone ever since he had found John unconscious in Thunderbird Five. He got up and went over to one of the storage cupboards, and retrieved a few of the blankets that were kept there.

Scott took back them over before laying them over his brother, "Is that better John?" He asked tucking the blankets in around the edges of the bed.

John nodded slightly, wincing in the movement. Scott frowned as he sat back down on the chair. "Are you ok John? This is more than the flu isn't it?" He spoke softly as John gently fought with the oxygen mask. Scott could see that his younger brother was more awake but his blue eyes were dull and the sparkle that was usually there was missing, John's skin was more pale than normal and clammy from the fever that was wracking his body.

"I...I do-don't know" John gasped trying to keep back the coughing from rising up out of his chest. Scott gave him a hand to put the oxygen mask back on, "It's ok John, Brains and Tin-Tin are working on finding out what is wrong with you" He said quietly hearing the door open quietly.

Virgil came in closely followed by Alan, they both smiled as they crossed over the room and grabbed a spare chair each. "Hey John" Virgil spoke in the same hushed tone Scott had been using.

John closed his eyes and leaned deeper into the pillows, "Come on bro, don't be like that please" Alan said quietly taking John's hand for it to only be pulled away.

Scott looked worried at how John had suddenly closed up when his other brothers had came in, "It's ok John, they are only worried for you" He spoke up and looked at John, who opened his eyes and looked at Scott before looking behind him and closed his eyes once again.

Turning around in his chair, Scott saw that Jeff had returned accompanied by Brains and Tin-Tin, who looked grave and worried for the blond Tracy led in the bed. Scott could see instantly that they had found out what is wrong with John.

"You've found out haven't you?" He spoke in the same hushed tone but all the command from where he was the field commander while on a mission for International Rescue was there.

Tin-Tin looked at the ground while Brains and Jeff shared a blank look.

_**What I would do, what I would give if you**_

_They knew John, they had found out and yet they were worried about how we would handle it... only if I recognised the signs myself we could have got you to the hospital sooner. _

_But then as you would say, 'its no use kicking yourself, these things happen' _

_Wish they didn't hang out on us..._

_**Return to me, someday, some how, some way!**_

Jeff sighed and knew that now they knew what was wrong with his middle son, then they would have to act quickly from it getting any worse.

"We have to take John to mainland, we all have to go as we have been near him" He spoke without revealing what John had.

Alan and Virgil rose up out of their chairs, while Scott stayed in his. "What are you saying Dad? What is wrong with our brother?" Virgil asked as the tone of his father worried him.

John coughed violently and turned to his side, placing his back to his father. Scott jumped up and rushed to the other side of the bed, "Easy John, its ok" He said removing the mask off in time for John to throw up onto the floor below, as he had not had anything to eat, it was only just water.

Virgil and Alan winced but kept still unsure how to help their brother as Scott helped John clean up and put the oxygen mask on.

"I-I'm s-sorry" John muttered, his shoulders shaking from the suppressed tears he was holding back.

"It's ok Johnny, these things happen" Scott said quietly and helped his brother until he was led back against the pillows before retrieving some tissues and tried his best to clean up the mess.

"Are you going to say what is wrong with him or not?" Scott asked getting back up, using the bin closed to his father on purpose.

"Brains has run the tests and discovered that John has meningitis" Jeff said with a sigh, his shoulders slouching a little as he watched John rest against the pillows, the oxygen mask steaming up with every breath he took.

Scott gasped and turned to look at Virgil and Alan before looking at John. "We got to get him to a hospital now" He spoke, his fists clenched tightly to his sides.

_**If my tears could bring you back to me!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Tears Chapter Two

_**It's just one more day  
**__**No one said**_

The rain battered against the window, hitting the glass leaving streams as it travelled down the glass onto the ledges below. The room the window belonged to was quiet and full of suspense, which was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

Around the room were two couches and a armchair, in the middle of the room lay a table and on this table were assorted magazines and newspapers untouched by the room's occupants.

The tall black haired young man watched the rain hit the window, he sighed deeply earning glances from the other four occupants. They were in the waiting room of St Helen's Hospital as doctors and nurses worked on their brother/son, who they had rushed in after John had been diagnosed with meningitis.

"I still don't get it" A voice broke the silence that had been in the room since they had been directed into the waiting room.

Scott turned around to see that the youngest member of the family had spoke up, "What do you not understand Alan?" He asked leaning against the wall near the window.

"How John got this... this illness!" Alan said jumping up off the couch he had been sat on next to Gordon, who had joined them shortly after being in the waiting room.

"Calm down Alan, he will be ok" Gordon said quietly pulling his brother back down on the couch next to him.

Virgil looked at the table deep in thought, their dad sighed, rose up to his feet and left the room.

Scott watched the figure of their father disappear down the corridor and sighed. "I don't know Alan... but what I do know that there is more than just meningitis," he said to his brothers for the first time.

Virgil looked up, "What do you mean Scott?" He asked wondering what their oldest brother was talking about.

Scott sighed and rubbed his forehead to try and fight the oncoming headache. "I'm not sure... if that it was the fever talking or there is something wrong with John which would explain why he spent all that time up there" He said looking at brothers before looking back out of the windows.

Alan and Gordon looked at each other then over to the back of their eldest brother in silence.

Virgil sighed deeply and hid his face behind his hands, "Alaska" He muttered.

Scott looked over to his brother closest by age, "What was that Virgil?" He asked confused what Virgil was talking about.

_**There will be rain again  
**__**Won't blame it on myself**_

Dr Adam Hall looked over the latest test results, "Ok Joe, the antibiotics are working, so continue the treatment and hopefully the fever will break" He told the senior nurse who replaced the bag of fluids.

Their patient was currently unconscious with a monitor to keep a close eye on his vitals. The first thing the team of doctors and nurses did was bring John Tracy's temperature down before they really started treatment.

Joe nodded, "Ok Dr Hall, are you going to talk to the young man's family?" He asked as he looked over the monitor to check the readouts before writing them on the clipboard attached to the end of bed.

"Yes, I doubt that he will wake up while I am gone" Dr Hall said and left the small private room that they had put their patient in once he had been moved from the emergency department downstairs.

Senior Nurse Joe watched the doctor leave the room before finishing writing up his notes and checked to see if the blankets, oxygen mask and drip were all secure.

_He's so young _Joe thought to himself with a sigh as John moaned and turned slightly in his sleep. He frowned and made sure that the drip wouldn't come out or interfere in any way as the blonde young man.

**_I'll blame on the weatherman  
_****_Get away for a while _**

"It makes sense! But we were all near that farmer... well except you of course Alan" Gordon said from his place on the couch.

"Yeah well someone had to man the space station while John got a break," Alan said with a shrug, quiet use to bring up on Thunderbird Five on a rotary basis.

"I know Al, but you have been around us and around him while we went to bring him back" Scott said from where he had sat down on the armchair instead of by the window.

Virgil had replaced Scott and stood by the window, "We just didn't realise that it was something this serious... we thought that it was just a cold and laughed about it," He said with a sigh leaning against the wall.

They all sighed and the room filled with silence once again. Only to be broken with a knock on the door before it opened to reveal a middle aged light brown haired man dressed in a black suit.

"Tracy?" He spoke softly.

Scott got up and took his place as the oldest brother. "That will be us," He said as the doctor closed the door behind him.

"I'm Doctor Hall, I'm treating your brother but I would like to speak to your father if I may" Dr Hall said as Scott crossed his arms against his chest with a slight frown on his face.

"He has stepped out for some air, we don't know when he will be back," Virgil said moving over to Scott and placed his hand on his brother's shoulder for support.

"Oh I see, take a seat please" Dr Hall said with a smile waving his hand to the free couch.

Virgil led Scott over to the couch, "Just take it easy, yeah Scott?" He whispered to his eldest brother as they sat down on the couch.

Scott took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Thanks Virg" He whispered back. "Ok Doc, are you going to tell us about our brother?" He asked the doctor nodding at the armchair for the doctor to sit down.

Doctor Hall took the offered armchair, "Thank you, your brother, John is serious sick. We have given him some antibiotics that have been developed to fight against meningitis" He explained watching the expressions of the four brothers in front of him.

"The only thing that is worrying us is the fever but we are giving him fluids and trying to keep him cool in hope that it will break on its own once the antibiotics has had a chance to act, we're just glad that you brought him in when you did" Dr Hall continued his hands tangled together, resting his hands just under his chin.

Gordon and Alan looked at each other then back at the doctor in the armchair, "Can we see him?" Gordon asked in a quiet voice very much unlike his own. Scott and Virgil wondered the same thing silently and they watched the doctor wondering what his response would be.

"I would like to run blood tests on all of you to see if there is any sign of any of you carrying meningitis and we will have to start you all including your father and anyone else in your house on antibiotics" Doctor Hall said soon followed by his beeper going off, with a sigh he pulled it off his belt and read what it displayed. "I'm needed somewhere, I will be back as soon as I can" Doctor Hall said rising up off the armchair and made his way back to the door that led back into the hospital.

"Doctor Hall, what about our brother?" Scott asked jumping up off the couch.

"I will send the senior nurse down to take you to your brother" Doctor Hall said before opening the door and walked off down the corridor into the depths of the hospital.

Scott sighed and crashed back down on the couch.

Virgil looked over at him and got up off the couch himself, "I'm going to get some coffee... anyone else want one?" He asked seeing that Scott might need some coffee with tiredness and worry cracking through his strong mask.

"Please Virgil" Gordon and Alan chorused together, leaning back against the back of the couch.

_**Here I am out on my own again  
**__**Won't blame it on myself**_

Jeff leaned against the cold painted brick wall of the hospital's entrance watching the rain as it continued to fall. Part of him wanted to stay in the waiting room with his other four sons but a louder more determined part of him was reminding him of the amount of reports and designs waiting for him to read or check and sign before sending it to the required departments.

He sighed deeply resting his hands in his pockets as a few people entered the hospital while a few more left. _What am I going to do? _Jeff thought to himself breathing in the cold wet air.

Every time Jeff saw John he was reminded of Lucille, the boys mother. He saw her in Alan too, he saw it in all of the boys but saw her in John most of all. He didn't know why, maybe it was the colour of his eyes or the colour of his hair, or because of the talent he had with speaking many languages.

"What can I do?" He muttered quietly resting the back of his head against the wall.

"Maybe you should go inside and check on your son" A voice spoke up crossing the large carpark.

Jeff looked across and smiled slightly.

_**I'll blame it on the weatherman  
**__**Standing on the shore**_

The young man groaned and moved slightly, he felt the dull aches and pains in his body as he woke up more and more. Opening his eyes slowly he saw bright white walls and ceiling making the room brighter than what it really was.

Senior Nurse Joe looked up from his paperwork he was filling out in his office, across the hall from John's room. Rising up out of his chair, Joe crossed the corridor and into the young man's room not wincing at the change of temperature.

"Nice to see you awake" Joe spoke quietly as he rested the back of his hand against his patient's forehead while fishing out a thermonitor from his pocket. "You're still feel feverish" Joe mummered and gently moved the oxygen mask off.

John blinked tiredly unsure of what to make of this stranger, he tried to think but his thoughts were all lost in the fog that was created by the tiredness and any medication he must have been given.

"You're in St Helen's hospital in Seattle" Joe spoke up as he checked the thermometer before placing it in John's mouth.

John blinked tiredly and looked around behind the nurse, Joe took the small hint. "Your family are in the waiting room down the hall, I'll send them over once I'm done here" He said waiting for the thermometer to beep, while he did so Joe checked John's pulse and then the fluid bag.

John breathed deeply and closed his eyes ignoring the drip in the back of his hand as the thermometer beeped. Joe removed it and checked the dial before moving to write it down on the clipboard.

"I'll go and get them as they have been worried about you" Joe told John as he put the clipboard back on the bed and cleaned the thermometer before putting it back into its cover then back in his pocket.

_**Calling out your name  
**__**I was here before**_

Gordon sipped his coffee, or what the hospital called coffee deep in thought. He hoped that his brother would recover from the meningitis he had caught, holding his cup of coffee with one hand he rubbed the small round plaster each of them now wore as prove of that they had blood samples taken.

Alan held his cup of coffee close to him, taking in the smell of the hot bitter caffeine drink. He, like his other brothers, hoped that John would make a full recovery but Alan remembered how his brother reacted to them and their father while on the island. _It's more than just that virus..._ Alan thought to himself, sipping at the coffee while half watched Virgil and Scott, who both stood at the window.

"I hope I'm wrong Virg, but you saw how John reacted to Dad back on the island... how he closed up, I don't know what I can do that will help our brother..." Scott whispered to his brother closest by age, staring at the cup of coffee that rested on the window sill.

"We will have to wait and see to how John recovers from this virus then and only then can we focus on what is going on with our brother" Virgil whispered back as the knocking at the door started once again.

"Who is it?" Scott called turning around, putting the dark window to his back.

The door opened to reveal a different man, this one was a little older than Doctor Hall and wore a dark blue tunic, his brown hair had a few white streaks near the ears and signs of tiredness were in the corners of his eyes.

"Tracy?" He asked entering the room, pushing the door to not completely closing it.

"We are" Virgil spoke up his arms crossed against his chest, his cup of coffee on the window next to Scott's.

"I'm Senior Nurse Joe, I'm in charge of your brother, John's, treatment" Joe introduced himself, looking around the room seeing that the room's four occupants were watching him closely. _Ooh boy _Joe thought to himself and took a deep breath before continuing.

"He has woken up a few short minutes ago, I thought that you would like to see your brother... although I must warn you that he will be extremely tired" Joe continued and opened the door fully once more.

"As long as we can see him for a little while" Alan spoke up from his place on the couch.

"Sure, I'll take you to him now" Joe said with a nod and stepped out of the way of the door.

Scott and Virgil looked at each other and then over at Gordon and Alan, who both nodded to their brothers silent question before rising up off the couch and walked out of the door allowing Joe to lead them down the hall.

_**I could see your face  
**__**Only clouds will see**_

"How did you know we were here?" Jeff asked as they walked side by side through the maze of hospital corridors and stairs, not touching the elevators.

"I am your best spy, and I know that your Swiftwind jet doesn't stick out as _other_ aircraft I could name, it is still mighty impressive" Lady Penelope said with a slightly amused tone in her voice as they climbed up another flight of stairs.

"Thanks for coming Penny, I appreciate it alot" Jeff said with a smile and held the door open which opened to the corridor where the waiting room and John's room was located.

"It's no problem at all" Lady Penelope said with a smile, taking her raincoat off before it was taken by Parker, who had followed them both silently.

Arriving at the waiting room, Jeff finds it empty. "Where have they gone?" He wondered outloud entering the room fully with Lady Penelope and Parker following closely behind.

Lady Penelope walked over to the window where she had spotted two cups of coffee. Feeling them with the back of her hand, she could feel that they were still warm. "These cups are still warm Jeff, they couldn't have been gone long! We should check the nurses station to see if they know where the boys went," Lady Penelope said nodding at Parker, the silent order that the butler should stay here in the waiting room.

Parker simply nodded back, "Yes M'lady" He spoke up in his cockney accent.

"Ok Penny, let's go" Jeff said leaving the room leading the way back up the hall to the nearest nurses station.

_**Tears are in my eyes  
**__**Empty like my heart**_

John opened his blue eyes tiredly, as his vision cleared he could see his brothers gathered around his bed.

"Hey John, how are you feeling" Scott asked quietly as he sat down on the chair near his brother's bed.

John closed his eyes and turned his head away slightly, coughing a little.

Virgil, Gordon and Alan all glanced at each other, "We'll be outside ok Scott" Virgil said as it seemed that Scott was the only one that could talk to John without the blonde Tracy brother closing everyone out.

"Ok Virg, you guys keep an eye out for Dad" Scott with a nod, noticing John flinch slightly.

"Right ... see you in a while" Virgil said pushing Gordon and Alan gently out of the room, Nurse Joe followed giving the two brothers some time alone.

"It's ok John" Scott said quietly once the door was closed, resting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

John turned his head back wincing slightly in the movement, opening his eyes tiredly he sighed softly. Scott helped him move the oxygen mask off gently. "T-thanks" John croaked softly.

"It's ok John, the nurse said that the medication is working... they are waiting for blood results to come back" Scott spoke softly as he got a cup of water from the jug nearby that had been placed on the table along with a stack of plastic cups.

John sat up a little and was careful not to upset the drip in the back of his hand. "Why?" He asked before giving away to a bout of coughing.

"Easy John" Scott said and once the coughing had faded helped his brother take a small sip of water. "The doctor... Doctor Hall, told us that it was procedure to treat the close family of the patient..." He said placing the cup back on the table.

John leaned back against the pillows, "I'm sorry" He croaked closing his eyes once again so that he wouldn't have had to look at his eldest brother.

Scott shook his head, "No it's my fault... I should have checked on you after we got back to the island...," He said looking his hands together resting them on his lap. "Virgil told us about that farmer you helped... can you remember him?" Scott asked remembering what they had talked about in the waiting room.

"F-farmer?" John croaked and coughed harshly. Scott jumped up and helped John put the oxygen mask back on to help him breath.

"Just take deep breaths John.. nice and slow ok" Scott said resting his hand against the oxygen mask as John leaned against his pillows, taking long deep breaths.

Soon John was half asleep, "I'll help you put the mask back on then let you get some rest ok John" Scott said quietly as he gently stretched the elasticised straps over the back of John's head and made sure that the mask rested comfortably on his brother's face.

"Thanks Scott" John muttered, half of his voice lost in the oxygen mask.

"It's ok John, just get some rest" Scott said with a smile moving across the room towards the door.

John sighed and leaned back against his pillows a little more before falling back asleep.

Scott smiled and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him to leave his younger brother to sleep.

_**Why do ya say good bye  
**__**The rain goes on, on and on again**_

Alan and Gordon sighed sitting down on the softer of the two hard couches of the waiting room. Virgil through had seen their father and gone off to find him.

"The coffees have gone cold," Alan said in a tired voice picking up his coffee.

"Well I wouldn't drink that mud anyway" Gordon muttered tiredly leaning back against the couch.

Parker appeared in the open doorway to find the younger two Tracy brothers. "I found 'em M'lady" He called out of the room.

Lady Penelope soon joined Parker in the small waiting room, "There you are boys, where is Scott and Virgil?" She asked as she entered the room and sat down gently on the armchair.

Parker stayed by the door.

"Scott was with John and Virgil thought he saw Dad, and went to go find him" Gordon spoke up as Alan covered a yawn.

Lady Penelope saw this and sighed, "Parker can you please go and find these boys a cup of coffee" She ordered her butler.

"Right M'lady" Parker said with a small bow.

"I'll take that offer too please Parker... should have known that you would have come" A voice spoke from the doorway.

_**The rain goes on, on and on again  
**__**The rain goes on, on and on again**_

Virgil walked down the corridor where he had been told by a nurse that she had seen his father walk down.

_Can Scott be right? Can that be the mental side of what is wrong with John... why he is closing up around us? _He thought, lost in his thoughts about what Scott had talked about in the waiting room while waiting for news on their brother.

Virgil shook his head, _What can we do? _He thought with a deep sigh reaching a glass corridor. Looking out of the window Virgil could see that the sky was still dark and the rain was still falling, _It's still raining..._ He thought and perched on the edge of the window sill.

"What would you have done Mom?" Virgil muttered quietly.

"I was wondering the same thing myself son" A gruff voice spoke walking up the corridor and joined his second eldest son at the window.

Virgil sighed, "Dad..." He muttered lowering his head looking at his feet.

_**Alone I can hear  
**__**Hear our song**_

"Thanks Parker" Scott said accepting the cup of coffee, "He was very feverish... and had a chesty cough" He informed his brothers and Lady Penelope. "I saw Doctor Hall on the way back... I asked about the blood samples they took from us but he's still waiting for the results" Scott carried on before sipping his coffee.

"I'm sure that it's nothing to worry about Scott! The doctors and nurses here all know what they are doing" Lady Penelope spoke softly before sipping her cup of tea that Parker had fetched for her shortly after getting the boys a coffee each.

Alan held his coffee in front of him, looking the bitter brown liquid swirling around in the styrofoam cup. He was remembering how John had joked with him during the switchover at the beginning of the month... only a few short days ago. _But look at him now... he was so... so pale and confused _Alan thought still staring at the coffee before taking a sip, wincing in how it tasted like tar, not that he had ever drank it before.

Gordon watched his younger brother lost in his own thoughts, he could see that Alan was deeply worried for his older brother. John would either pick sides, sometimes being with Scott and Virgil while other times he would side with Alan and Gordon, but a few times John had been caught in the middle and escaped out of the way of any sibling rivalry. _He's just got to get better... he's got to_ He thought with a sigh.

Scott and Lady Penelope looked at each other then back at Gordon and Alan who both were deep in thought. "I think we should find out and see if there is a hotel or something similar nearby... none of us are fit to fly the Swiftwind back to the island" Scott said before sipping his coffee once again, glad for the caffeine perk up.

Lady Penelope nodded while finishing her cup of tea, "I quite agree Scott, we should go and find your father before discussing this any further!" She spoke up handing the cup to Parker who went to dispose of it quickly.

"I'll go and find him, need to talk to him anyway..." Scott said as he rose up onto his feet finished his coffee and placed the empty styrofoam cup on the table before heading towards the door only for someone to knock on it wanting admittance.

Opening the door, Scott came face to face with Dr. Hall. "Hello, can we talk?" He asked politely.

"Come on in, I was about to go and find my.. our father" Scott said moving out of the doorway to allow the doctor inside the room.

Doctor Hall smiled and looked around the room as he entered, he saw the two younger brothers lost in their thoughts while they held a steaming cup of what the hospital liked to call coffee.

What Doctor Hall then saw was a young woman sat in the armchair, she wore a variety of pink clothing with blonde hair. "I don't believe we've met," He said in the most polite voice he could muster.

Lady Penelope rose to her feet and held out her hand, "Lady Penelope Creighton Ward, I'm a close friend of the family" She introduced herself. "This is my friend Parker" Lady Penelope then introduced Parker who bowed slightly.

"Nice to meet you" Doctor Hall said before kissing Lady Penelope's hand and nodded at Parker.

Scott leaned against the wall near the window once again, his arms crossed against his chest. He watched the doctor kiss Lady Penelope's hand; it was so obvious that he had been shocked by the beauty that Lady Penelope broadcast. _She still has it_ He thought and rubbed his temples tiredly.

_**Playing for me again  
**__**Won't blame it on myself**_

Virgil sighed tiredly, the cold glass of the window pressed against his back. He hoped that the chilled glass from the on going rainstorm outside would wake him up enough to last a few hours, he also hoped that it would cool the aches building up in his shoulders.

"Are you ok son?" Jeff asked breaking the silence between them from his place on the window ledge next to Virgil.

Virgil sighed deeply, his eyes closed. "Will be Dad" He muttered feeling his shirt sticking to his back due to the dampness of the window as the condensation formed.

Jeff looked at his second born son, signs of tiredness all over his body and face even with his eyes closed. He could see that his son was worn out ready to try and get some much needed sleep. "Let's head back to the waiting room, we'll need to talk to the others" He suggested, groaning slightly as he got back onto his feet.

Virgil sighed and opened his eyes, "You're right... Scott might be back," He said shuffling off the ledge and back up onto his own feet. He then stretched and rotated his shoulders, "Let's go" Virgil said and led the way down the corridor back towards the waiting room.

"Ok Virgil, we will have to hope that things will keep quiet for a while" Jeff said as he followed Virgil along the corridor.

Virgil stopped dead in the middle of the wide corridor. "This is bigger than that Dad... this is our brother, your son in that room! You haven't seen him in there" He spoke in a low voice, keeping his back to his father.

"If you should worry about anything... you should worry about John because he holds this family together! Not Scott!" Virgil carried on turning to face his father, unshed tears in his eyes. "This is the biggest thing since we lost mom... you've just pathetic Dad!" He said before walking back up the corridor.

_**Just blame it on the weatherman  
**__**Standing on the shore**_

John slowly opened his eyes, his vision is still blurred with tiredness and it slowly cleared to reveal the bright room empty. _Nothing unusual..._ He thought to himself tiredly, feeling the cold oxygen flowing from the mask on to his flushed skin.

He woke up a little more to find himself away from his home, John could not hear the buzzing of the many computers and communication channels of Thunderbird Five. If he was unable to look out of the window nearby then he would not see the vastness of outer space but instead he saw the sights of the city of Seattle.

He sighed and coughed harshly, his throat sore and tender but it did not feel bunged up and made it hard to swallow after waking up that morning. Even though he did still found it hard to breath, John's chest felt very tight and his breaths was still hard to pass along his red raw throat.

"So you're awake, how are you feeling?" Senior Nurse Joe asked coming into the room seeing the young blonde man awake.

John blinked his eyes tiredly and coughed harshly once again, leaving him breathless.

Joe stepped up beside John's bed and rested the back of his hand on John's forehead. "It feels like your fever has broken... that's a good thing" Joe informed him as he performed his routine checks.

John watched on tiredly not sure he could speak if he wanted to.

_**Calling out your name  
**__**I was here before**_

Scott sighed, he was half glad that they were all in the clear but when Dr. Hall had gone on to update them all on John's condition, Scott was worried for him.

"I suggest that you all go and find a hotel and get some rest as all we can do now is wait for the treatment to take full effect" Dr. Hall said as he kept his place near the door.

"We know Dr. Hall, and as soon as Jeff appears then we will be able to discuss our options" Lady Penelope spoke softly from her place on the armchair.

The door opened to reveal Virgil, who looked around at his family and the doctor before leaving the room again.

Scott frowned and chased after his brother, "Virgil! Wait up!" He called as he left the waiting room wondering what was wrong with his brother closest by age.

Alan and Gordon looked back and forth from each other to the door, "What just happened?" They asked at the same time.

Lady Penelope looked at the open door, "I'm sure we will find out soon enough," She said as Parker closed the door for privacy.

Dr. Hall's beeper went off, "I'm sorry about this" He said with a slight frown and checked his beeper. "I'm needed somewhere else... I will be back as soon as I can" He apologised and left the room but remained in the doorway.

"That's fine, this is a very busy hospital and I'm sure that there are other patients that you have to see" Lady Penelope said with an understanding smile.

Dr. Hall smiled and nodded before vanishing out of the doorway, rushing down the corridor.

_**I could see your face  
**__**Only clouds will see**_

Jeff looked into the darkened room, in the bed laid his middle born son. Around the sleeping blond man was a machine providing clean oxygen while there was a metal stand with a fluid pack helping his son gain the lost fluids that had been taken away by the fever.

He sighed quietly lost in thought, thinking over what Virgil had told him. _He's right... we've got so involved with International Rescue that we forgot what is was like to be a family..._ Jeff thought to himself watching John sleep. There had been many times that Jeff had watched one of the boys sleep, sometimes it would be John or Alan as he saw their mother in them both.

"Can I help you sir?" A quiet voice asked from behind him. Jeff spun around to come face to face with a nurse. "I... I was just seeing how my son is, I was told that he could be found here" Jeff explained to the nurse keeping his voice low in worry that it could wake his son.

"Ah so you're Mr Tracy, the boys father" The nurse spoke in the same soft voice with a slight smile. "I'm Senior Nurse Joe, Dr. Hall has put me in charge of your son's treatment" Joe introduced himself hearing a harsh and raw cough coming from the room behind Jeff, who flinched.

"How is John?" Jeff asked looking behind him, seeing John shiver slightly.

"I will answer you in a moment, wait here please" Joe said and squeezed behind Jeff into John's room. He rested the back of his hand against John's forehead.

John groaned and coughed harshly, opening his eyes slightly to see who's warm hand was touching his cold and clammy skin.

"It's ok John, you're feeling very cold... I thought your fever broke... I will have to call up for more blankets" Joe said in a quiet voice removing his hand from John's forehead before picking his pen out of his pocket, and moved to the end of the bed to write up his notes on the chart.

John closed his eyes and took a few deep ragged breaths, wishing for the darkness of sleep to take him away once again. Jeff watched all of this from the doorway, unable to go any further from it. He watched in silence as Nurse Joe tended to John, once his son had fallen back asleep then Jeff left the nurse to take care of his son.

He soon found himself outside the waiting room wondering if everyone was inside waiting for him. Taking a deep breath and released it slowly before opening the door and stepped into the room to face his family.

_**Tears are in my eyes  
**__**Empty like my heart**_

Virgil took a deep breath of the cold damp air as the rain continued to fall. "Does it ever stop raining?" He asked the empty car park.

He had wandered around the hospital until he found himself at one of the many entrances; he really needed some air to clear his head away from the things he had said to his dad.

_They were half true though...weren't they? _Virgil thought to himself as he breathed the cold air deeply to help him relax and tried to clear his head.

"Virgil?" A voice asked quietly, joining him against the wall under the cover of the entrance.

Virgil looked over at the source of the voice to find his eldest brother. He sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes, "I'm sorry... just tired of this" He muttered as the rain fell harder, bouncing off the rooftops of the cars in the park.

"Tired of what Virgil? If this is about John" Scott asked seeing how worn out his younger brother was, he was close to collapsing there and now. "If it is then he needs us now more than he ever has in the past," He said showing some tiredness himself as the caffeine wore off and his tight mask cracked.

Virgil looked at his brother seeing that the usual tough big brother that had always been there for his younger brothers and himself was now looking worn out not just physically but mentally. "Scott... come on, we better head back inside and see what our father is going to do now" He spoke quietly feeling worn out and ready to try and get some sleep though he was deeply worried for their middle brother.

Scott took a deep breath of the cold damp air and released it slowly, "Yeah let's go..." He said and moved closer to the doors that opened automatically. "What's wrong?" Scott asked seeing Virgil still staring at the falling rain.

"Just thinking Scott... it's nothing really," Virgil said pushing his thoughts away for a while until he could be left with them once again.

Scott looked at Virgil carefully, resisting the urge to rub his temples before nodding. "Ok Virg, just tell me when you're ready" He said before heading back inside.

_**Why do you have to say goodbye  
**_**_The rain goes on, on and on again _**

Jeff accepted the cup of coffee from Parker, "Thanks Parker" He muttered tiredly and sipped some of the coffee. "I think we should get a hotel close by, try and get some sleep... see what happens as that is all we can do" Jeff said tiredly seeing his sons were all tired and only pure determination was keeping them awake.

Lady Penelope looked at the two youngest Tracy sons, seeing that they were exhausted and in need of some sleep. "You're right Jeff, Parker and myself will go down to the information desk to see what we can find" She said rising up off the armchair and straightened her clothes out as Parker opened the door.

The door revealed two tired sons, the eldest pair of the Tracy family, "Hey everyone..." Scott muttered tiredly as he entered the waiting room followed closely by Virgil before they both collapsed on the free couch.

"We have decided on finding a hotel and get some rest... see how situation goes to what we do next" Jeff spoke up, looking at the warm coffee in his cup instead of his sons.

Scott looked between his father and Virgil, feeling that something had happened between the two of them earlier. "That's good... it will be no good for any of us or John" He spoke up seeing that Gordon and Alan were both exhausted.

"We'll go and do that now for you Jeff" Lady Penelope said softly with a smile before leaving the room with Parker closing the door as they left, leaving the Tracy family in the room.

"Have was John?" Alan asked Scott, breaking the silence that had filled the room once Lady Penelope and Parker left.

Scott sighed, resting his head in his hands his arms being supported by his knees. "Tired... I haven't seen him like this in years..." He said remembering how John had woken up for a little while before his strength faded once again, giving away to the darkness of sleep.

"The nurse thinks that his fever is back, he was shivering under his blankets when I went to see him" Jeff spoke up before finishing his coffee.

Scott looked up at his father, "Did you go into see him? Or just stayed in the doorway?" He asked, the tiredness pushed away keeping his blue eyes locked onto his father's brown ones.

"I would have gone in but the nurse went in, so I didn't go in I would have, I needed to see him" Jeff muttered before rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Scott and Virgil looked at each other tiredly and sighed quietly.

_**The rain goes on, on and on again  
**__**The rain goes on, on and on again**_

Dr Hall looked around the door, seeing his youngest patient in this ward. He saw that more blankets had been added to the bed for extra warmth, quietly Dr Hall closed the door and crossed the corridor to enter the senior nurse's office.

"Joe, how is our young patient?" He asked accepting a cup of coffee from the nurse.

"Hey Dan, they... his family are going to find a hotel for the night so they can get some sleep" Joe said sitting down on his desk chair, his own cup of coffee sat on the desk. "While John has gone back into a fever, his overall temperature is a little high but the shivers have got me concerned" He said with a sigh leaning back against the back of the chair.

Dan sipped his coffee quietly going over the notes in his head as they hardly got patients in suffering from meningitis. He nodded after a while, "He is showing all of the classic symptoms so the fever would put up a fight while the medication is taking its full effect, we will just have to be grateful that his family got him here as quickly as they did" Dan said with a soft sigh and sipped the coffee once more glad that both Joe and himself would be going off shift for a few hours to get some well deserved rest themselves.

Joe reached across the desk for his own cup of coffee, sometimes he thought that he drunk so much of the caffeine that it would be in his blood but soon enough Joe realised that was not possible. "Very thankful" He muttered before sipping his own coffee.

"Well we just have to make sure that our notes are written up correctly for our replacement so we can actually go and visit our beds" Dan said stirring the contents of his cup in swirling motions.

"Mine are mostly done, just have to perform the checks once more... um, what is bed? I've been here too long" Joe joked lightly.

Dan shook his head to hide the laugh inside of him before sobering up remembering that there would be no laughter in a hotel room close by to the hospital tonight.

_**Maybe its too late  
**__**Maybe its too late to try again**_

Scott unlocked the door to the hotel room he was sharing with Virgil at where they had booked in, they all found three rooms at a hotel while Lady Penelope and Parker disappeared off to a hotel they had booked earlier.

"It's two singles Scott" Virgil said tiredly from where they had entered the medium sized room for what they hoped would be a day or two, he had headed straight for the bedroom.

Scott looked around their hotel room as he kicked off his shoes and his damp jacket; he could see a small living area with a couch and armchair. There was an open doorway that he guessed that led to the bathroom.

Virgil came out of the bedroom; he too had taken off his jacket and shoes. "We better head in for what's left of the night, and try and get some sleep," He said from the doorway.

"You're right Virg, we should try and get some rest" Scott said with a sigh, throwing the doorkey on the table by the main door, making sure that it was locked.

Virgil nodded tiredly and went back into the bedroom to try his best to get some sleep.

Scott turned out the lights as he walked through the room and entering the bedroom he found his brother fell fast asleep even before Virgil had the chance to climb under the blankets. With a soft smile, Scott walked over to the bed and gently pulled the blanket out from under Virgil and laid it out on top of him. "Night Virgil" He spoke quietly before shutting the light off and climbed into his own bed.

His mind buzzed and replayed the days events over in his head, from where he had found John unconscious up on Thunderbird Five to learning that his brother got meningitis. Scott then remembered everything that happened in the hospital, sighing quietly he silently hoped that everything would be ok before he finally gave way to the darkness of sleep. Hoping deep in his heart that things will get better.

_**Maybe I can't pray  
**__**Maybe I can't wait**_

Alan and Gordon had entered their own room, kicked off their shoes and stripped off their jackets before climbing into their own beds.

Their thoughts and feeling all mixed up and wore them both out leaving only one sure thing in their body and mind, sleep.

Both of them were deeply worried for their older brother but all that had happened had left the two youngest members of the Tracy family confusing to what they should actually feel and how to react to any news that they should receive.

It is true that Gordon had been involved in a similar situation but that had left him stuck in bed with more energy than what he knew what to do with. This though with John, this was different.

"Gordon..." Alan muttered from his own bed.

Gordon turned from facing the bare ceiling to where Alan's voice came from, "What is it Alan?" He asked lying on his side.

"Will John be ok?" Alan asked quietly with the slight rustle of the blankets as they moved in their beds.

"He will Al, he is always tough and been there for us no matter what had been bothering him..." Gordon said quietly. "Something has been happening between Dad and everyone else, now that this has happened it is more obvious than before" He spoke again turning in his bed slightly.

"I've seen that too... I just hope that we can call go back to being the happy family we once were before we got so distant in what we do... saving lives and yet we can't save our own family's life..." Alan muttered turning from on his side onto his back to look up to the ceiling.

Gordon looked at the faint outline of his younger brother, unshed tears in his eyes. "We can hope Al, that's all we can try and do" He said turning over to place his back to his brother hoping to hide the tears as they fell.

Alan turned his head to look at his brother, whose dark outline shook with suppressed tears. His own eyes shed with tears, closing them he felt the tears leak through the closed lids.

_**Maybe I can't blame the weatherman  
**__**The rain goes on, on and on again **_

Jeff crashed down on the bed in his room and rested his head in his hands going over all that had happened that day. He knew that there were some long buried feelings inside of him. There was also feelings amongst his sons, there also have been more brewing over the past amount of years simmering like a gas filled room awaiting a spark to ignite it.

_This is the biggest thing since we lost mom... you're just pathetic Dad! _Virgil's voice echoed in Jeff's mind.

_Maybe he's right... I have just let my business and the rescue organisation overtake my life _He thought to himself looking out of the window, seeing the lights outside blurred by the wet glass as the storm continued.

Sighing and leaning back against the pillows on the bed, facing the bare ceiling of the bedroom part of the room. Moments like this when one of his boys was going through a difficult time, Jeff always noticed that instead of turning to ask their father they would talk to one of their brothers away from him.

Jeff sighed, "What you have done Lucille?" He muttered praying that his deceased wife would offer the support and kindness before she was stolen away from them when the boys were such a young age.

He silently prayed and hoped that he wasn't too late to try and save the family ties before they grew even more fragile.

_**The rain goes on, on and on again  
**__**The rain goes on, on and on again**_

Nurse Anne walked along the corridors of the maple ward, walking her rounds checking on the patients seeing most of them asleep due to their injury or illness.

Senior Nurse Joe had told Anne before leaving that she should keep their meningitis patient at the top of their priority list. Anne had checked him shortly before Joe had left and decided that the young man would be ok until the end of her shift.

Stepping into the young man's room now the young nurse found him awake and looking tiredly at the bare ceiling. He was breathing raspily from the oxygen mask. Anne wasn't sure how pale her patient could be under the flush of the fever. "Hey there, how are you feeling?" She asked quietly.

John blinked tiredly seeing this nurse, who looked no younger than Alan with brown bushy hair tied back tightly behind her. He raised his hand up and slowly moved the oxygen mask away from his mask; he licked his lips slowly feeling they were dry and cracked.

But when he opened them to try and speak he discovered that he couldn't speak past his raw red throat. John coughed feeling his throat and eyes burn, why was this happening to him? He bowed his head, hiding away as the tears fell.

Nurse Anne rushed to his side, "Shh... it's ok, take it easy" She spoke quietly making a cup of water and helped John sit up ignoring the tears falling down his flushed cheeks.

Nurse Anne raised the cup to his lips. "Take a sip, it will help" She ordered quietly holding the cup steady. John slowly sipped some of the water before closing his eyes and tried to push the cup away. The nurse moved the cup away and placed it back on the bedside table before helping put the oxygen mask back on.

"I'll go and find a doctor for you, I'm sure that you're just tired" Anne said with a smile before leaving the room.

Once the door had closed, John closed his eyes battling to keep the tears back that wanted to fall. _Why is this happening to me? _He thought to himself as he gave way to another bout of coughing, which soon passed leaving him gasping for breath through the oxygen mask.

_Mom... please help me get through this _John prayed, leaning back heavily against the pillows the tears winning against the tired control that John could muster.

The rain battered against the window, leaving tear like trails down the window before falling down the ledges at the bottom then ending in the puddles down on the ground below.

_**Oh blame it on the weatherman.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Tears  
Chapter Three

_**I open my eyes  
**__**I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light**_

Sighing deeply as the hot jets of water hit his skin, waking the young man up slowly. The drips of water rolled down his tanned skin, massaging the slowly waking muscles ready for whatever the day was going to throw at him.

After a few minutes under the hot water, he reached up and turned the shower off, and pushed the door open. Steam poured out of the cubicle as he climbed out and reached across to the towel rail for the towel that hanged there.

Once the towel had been secured around his waist, the young man yawned and stretched pushing his damp dark hair back before walking out of the en-suite bathroom into the hotel room he was staying in. He had moved to a different hotel room when the rest of the family had gone back to the island.

Sighing quietly to himself, Scott Tracy went over what had happened in the last four days since John had been admitted into St Helen's Hospital in Seattle after being diagnosed with meningitis.

The staff had been helpful and kept Scott informed about any news, nothing really happened overnight until the first round where the nurse discovered that John had lost his voice.

Scott and the family had rushed over to find their brother very upset though he had tried his best to hide it but there was signs of shed tears all over John's face.

Since then his health had continued to improve, all apart from the disappearance of his voice. Scott had constantly been up at the hospital at his brother's side doing his best to cheer him up.

With the rest of the family back on the island, Lady Penelope had got Scott the room he was currently in now and a few days change of clothes, as they didn't know how long John would be in the hospital.

Scott gave his brothers daily updates but right now he was getting ready for another day at the hospital.

_**I can't remember how  
**__**I can't remember why**_

John groaned quietly but it only sounded like air escaping from his lungs through his mouth. He opened his eyes slowly before turning over onto his back from where he must have rolled onto his side during his sleep.

Once that the hospital staff was happy that John could help himself to the water kept on the bedside table and that the tasks came back positive then the drip had been removed yesterday allowing John to be able to sleep better.

Looking around the room, he found the room empty with the chairs neatly stacked in the corner where Scott had put them every time he left. It had only been four days that John had been in here but to him it felt longer.

The door opened and revealed Senior Nurse Joe, "Morning John, I see your brother isn't here yet... well I'm sure he's on his way" Joe said picking up the clipboard off the bottom of the bed.

John pushed himself up to a sitting position and reached over for the notepad and pen as he had soon discovered that not everyone was able to understand sign language, so he had borrowed one of the nurse's pads to be able to communicate with everyone until his voice returned.

Nurse Joe looked up from his notes on the clipboard, "Before you even start, the breakfast trolley is on the way here" He said with a smile before going back to his notes.

John rolled his eyes and placed the pad and pen on his lap before reaching across for one of the magazines stacked on the table seeing the nurse was busy with his notes.

Nurse Joe looked up again seeing movement in the corner of his vision before walking over, pulling a thermometer out from his pocket. "Before you get too comfortable" He spoke quietly earning him a tired look from his young patient who opened his mouth and allowed the thermometer to be gently placed in.

_**I'm lying here tonight  
**__**And I can't stand the pain**_

Scott walked along the streets wanting to stop at a few stores on the way to the hospital, as it was only a block away from the hotel. Even though they could afford the taxi fare, Scott felt like he needed the walk to fully wake him up in the morning.

Changing the bag over to his other hand, Scott accepted the polystyrene cup from the young man behind the till. "Thanks" He said with a smile and walked out of the Starbucks Cafe.

Sipping the first proper cup of coffee of the day, as the breakfast he had at the hotel he chose diet lemonade as Scott had soon discovered that he disliked the hotel's coffee. Sighing quietly as he waited for the green light to show to allow him to cross the street, he sipped his coffee as he waited with his other hand resting in his jacket pocket.

Soon the light changed and allowed the city's pedestrians to cross the busy street quickly to carry on with their journeys for the day. Scott amongst them, being careful not to bump into anyone, to save knocking his coffee out of his hand and either hitting the ground or covering someone in hot coffee.

Looking at the growing tall building growing as Scott walked closer, in that stone grey building that was better known as Seattle Hospital was his brother recovering from being infected by meningitis but he felt that there was more to it than just the illness.

_**And I can't make it go away  
**__**No I can't stand the pain**_

John pushed the table away from him, the tray rattled slightly in the movement. He was glad that the doctor allowed him to eat some solid food instead of soups and jellies that John would have found easier to swallow.

Nurse Stevens walked in with a smile to remove the tray, "Well its nice to see you haven't lost your appetite" She said with a smile and walked over to retrieve the empty tray from the table.

John nodded and watched the nurse clean up before hearing a knock at the door, and smiled seeing his eldest brother waiting quietly at the door.

"Hope I'm not disturbing anything" Scott said with a smile leaning against the doorway.

'_Hospital food, can' t wait to get away from that_' John signed to his brother as the nurse left.

Scott let the nurse leave before entering the room himself closing the door behind him. "Don't be cheeky, at least they got you off the jell-o... or have they?" He asked with his hands full in putting the carrier bag down on the table then pulled a chair out from the tack in the corner of the room.

John helped himself to a cup of water while waiting for Scott to settle down then sipped it quietly. Once Scott had settled down, he placed his cup back on the table. '_Yes they have stopped giving me jell-o! That stuff was vile' _He signed and looked at the bag. '_What's in there?_' He asked then pointed at the bag.

"I stopped at a store and picked up a magazine guessing that you already probably read that a few times already" Scott said with a grin and settled down with a soft sigh.

'_Thanks... did they call last night?_' John asked before moving the pad and pen off his lap.

'_Yeah they did, but they were all tired from a mudslide in Iceland. Wiped out the foundations of a gymnasium full of people_' Scott signed for the first time.

They had all learnt sign language before they started International Rescue, feeling that they should be able to communicate in any possible way, this was one of the languages that Scott actually found easy to learn.

'_That must have been challenging, did they get everyone out?_' John asked wanting to know how the rescue went.

'_Virgil said that they had a close call but they got everyone out ok, they were more concerned about you_' Scott signed back before stretching his hands a little.

'_They are?_' John asked smiling slightly.

'_Yeah they all are, Grandma has started baking ready for when you get out of here_' Scott replied back smiling but soon faded when John's smile vanished and his eyes looked down at the blankets.

"John?" Scott asked out loud trying to get his brother's attention.

John looked up and shook his head, lying back against his pillows with a sigh.

Scott sighed and got up off his chair, "I'm going to try and find a decent cup of coffee..." He said before leaving John's room, leaving his brother to his thoughts.

_**How could this happen to me  
**__**I've made my mistake**_

Virgil sighed deeply and looked deep into the swirling bitter liquid contained in his cup. He was slowly waking up but only slowly, having just about five hours sleep after getting back from the rescue and talking to Scott.

He was so much lost in thought that he did not hear Alan and Gordon arrive to the dining table, Alan sighed and sat down at the table while Gordon got the coffees.

Jeff entered the dining room to find his sons slowly waking up thanks to the hot caffeine drink that was coffee. "Morning boys, the washing system has almost finished cleaning the mud off the Thunderbirds so all is left to do is checks. The uniforms are down in laundry to be collected," He said placing the newspapers down on the table before going into the kitchen.

Virgil sighed and fished out his part of the newspaper from the small pile. As he did so, the mail fell out including any magazine subscriptions that they had, looking through it his hand froze over a piece of mail.

Alan looked up warily then down at what Virgil's hand rested above, it was a blue wrapper covering a magazine. "Virg?" He called quietly as Gordon came back in and placed the cup of coffee down in front of Alan.

Gordon was taking a sip out of his own cup as he took his seat next to Alan and looked across to Virgil. "Something up bro?" He asked as he sat down and got the magazine that sat in the middle of the table.

Virgil looked up, "Yeah sorry, I'm fine... excuse me," He said rising up off his chair and took his part of the newspaper, and his coffee before walking out of the kitchen.

Alan sighed deeply and picked up his cup of coffee before taking a sip with a grateful sigh.

Gordon saw what the magazine was and put it back on the table with a slight splat. "I'll put that in his room later" He said putting the cup down on the table.

Rose Tracy entered the dining room to find two of her grandsons sat at the table with hot coffees in front of them. "Morning boys, ready to have some breakfast?" She asked her grandsons as Jeff came out of the kitchen carrying a cup of coffee.

"Sounds like a idea mother, what are we having?" Jeff asked sitting down at the table and helped himself to the newspapers in front of him.

Rose looked at the back of her son and shook her head, "Gordon can you go and see what Virgil would like and Alan, can you sort the mail out please" She ordered her grandsons.

"Right Grandma" The boys chorused, Gordon rose up from the table and went off to find Virgil while Alan sorted the mail out as Rose went off into the kitchen.

Alan dumped his father's mail on the table before rising from the table and disappeared off into the main complex heading towards the bedrooms.

Jeff looked up from his newspaper seeing that he was now alone at the table; he could hear his mother making their breakfast in the kitchen behind him. Looking down where he had put the newspaper, he found the mail in front of him where it had been sorted.

'_This is a mess..._' Jeff thought rubbing his eyes tiredly.

_**Got no where to run  
**__**The night goes on**_

Scott sighed and sipped the machine's coffee; he had wandered around the hospital and found himself at the far side of the large building. Thinking that from the back of the hospital he would be able to see the rest of the city, Scott was surprised to see a large park with trees surrounding the edges.

"Mr Tracy, I didn't expect you to be here," A voice said with a hint of surprise.

Scott turned from looking at the view to find Doctor Hall standing in front of him, "Doctor Hall, I just wanted to let John get some rest," He said switching the cup between his hands.

Doctor Hall nodded, "I see," He said quietly, shifting the folder tucked under his arm slightly.

"Something wrong Doc?" Scott asked before sipping his coffee with a since.

Doctor Hall grimaced, "A few of my colleagues have been talking about your brother's symptoms... and while most of them have gone thanks to the treatment we all think that the meningitis is only a part to why he has lost his voice" He said as he remembered their talks during the change over discussions.

Scott frowned in hearing this from the doctor standing in front of him; he turned back to look at the view. "What you're saying Doc is that there is something more to what is wrong with John then just that illness" He said in a half-quiet half thoughtful tone.

Doctor Hall moved to stand next to Scott, "That is what was believe," He said leaning against the rail that had been put up for safety reasons. "They want your brother to see a psychiatrist," Doctor Hall said with a sigh.

Scott sighed deeply. "All he needs is his family," He said before finishing his coffee. "We have one for the family... I should get back," He said running his free hand through his hair.

Doctor Hall was about to respond when his beeper went off breaking his train of thoughts. Sighing he fished off the device from his belt and read the message displayed on it. "I'm needed somewhere else... I will drop by and visit later" He said putting the beeper back on his belt and rushed off down the corridor.

Scott watched the doctor disappear into the maze of corridors that made up the hospital before putting the cup in the closest bin and made his own way back to John's room.

_**As I'm fading away  
**__**I'm sick of this life**_

John pulled himself up and adjusted his pillows to help him sit up before looking around to find the room empty as usual. He sighed softly and helped himself to a cup of water from the table slowly feeling his ribs ache slightly.

'_Must be where the coughing affected my lungs_' John thought to himself as he heard movement outside of his room.

The door opened to reveal his eldest brother, putting the cup down back on the table and looked at Scott. '_What's wrong?_' John asked seeing that there was something bothering Scott.

Scott sighed and sat back down in his chair, "I bumped into Doctor Hall when I went for coffee" He said leaning back against the chair. John looked at Scott leaning back against his pillows waiting for his brother to continue.

"His colleagues have been talking about to why you haven't got your voice... they think you should see a psychiatrist" Scott said rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Once Scot had put his hands down, John sighed quietly. '_They want me to talk to a psychiatrist? They're crazy!_' He signed and leaned back deeper into his pillows with a slight yawn.

"I should let you get some sleep, I got to call home anyway" Scott said glancing at his watch. He knew that John would react this way to hearing about the doctor suggesting a psychiatrist.

John yawned and coughed slightly, wincing at the sharp movement caused by it.

Scott frowned seeing his brother wince, "Are you ok?" He asked worried to what caused John to wince.

'_Fine... just a little tender that's all_' John signed tiredly.

Scott chewed his lip slightly, "I'm going to do and find someone, need to get that checked out," He said rising up off his chair.

'_I'm fine Scott, honest_' John signed before giving up to another bout of coughing, holding his ribs slightly.

"You're not John, I'm going to find Nurse Joe" Scott said with a sigh and opened the door before walking out of the room to find a nurse.

John gasped for air feeling rough along his throat. '_Thought I lost this cough..._' He thought to himself as he gained his breath back.

_**I just want to scream  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

Alan sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly before looking back at the computer screen in front of him.

'_Knock knock_' Someone knocked on his bedroom door.

"Come in" Alan called leaning back in his chair going over the readings on the computer in front of him.

"Hey Al, just wondered if you wanted a drink," Gordon said with a slight smile coming into his brother's room.

"Coffee sounds great Gord... need one with all this" Alan said with a stretch rubbing the back of his neck slightly.

"What are you doing?" Gordon asked moving behind Alan and looked at the computer, and recognised the figures on the screen. "This is the readouts of Thunderbird Five," He said confused to why Alan had them up.

"That's right... the only think we can do as Dad won't let me up there with Scott and John away on mainland" Alan said with a sigh reaching forward and entered a few commands into the computer.

Gordon watched the screen change to an image of the planet, "I guess you don't trust the automated systems," He said with a grin.

"It's not our best work... I just feel better in keeping an eye on it even though Brains is probably doing the same down in the lab" Alan said with a slight smile.

"I see... come on, let's go and get those coffees" Gordon said with a sigh and patted Alan's shoulder.

"Yeah sounds good. Let's go" Alan said rising out of his chair with a stretch.

"Sure" Gordon said and led the way out of Alan's room.

_**Everybody's screaming  
**__**I try to make a sound but no one hears me**_

Scott waited in the corner of the room, his arms crossed tightly against his chest as he watched Doctor Hall check John over.

"I don't know where this cough came from but your ribs are sore because of this cough and from the meningitis... I can give you some painkillers to help with that," Doctor Hall said moving his stethoscope back around his neck.

"What do you think John?" Scott asked from the corner.

John nodded tiredly; '_If it will help_' He signed leaning back against his pillows.

Doctor Hall glanced over at Scott, "He agrees" Scott translated.

'_Has he ever thought of learning sign language?_' John signed with a slight smile.

Scott smiled back, '_Don't be cheeky, you know they're only trying to help_' He signed back to his brother.

Doctor Hall watched this as he continued to write his notes, "Do you all know this language?" He asked clipping the board back onto the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, we had a grandfather who was deaf so we all had to learn it" Scott explained seeing John helping himself to a cup of water and scratched his nose slightly, their own code for saying that he was lying. Lying however was part of keeping their secret organisation a secret, so something like their know-how of different languages was a part of the one of the many secrets they had to keep.

"Ok, I'll send Nurse Joe with the medication and we'll see what happens" Doctor Hall said with a smile and left the room, closing the door behind him.

'_Are you going now?_' John asked having left the cup on the table.

'_Yeah... you need your rest_' Scott signed back seeing John yawn.

John nodded, pushing himself down under the blankets feeling the tiredness overtake him.

"Get some sleep, I'll see you later" Scott said quietly and watched John fall asleep before leaving him to sleep in peace.

_**I'm slipping off the edge  
**__**I'm hanging by a thread**_

Virgil sighed and reached out for his oily cloth from where he was under the Firefly, adjusting one or two of the insulated piping that lay under the large firefighting machine.

If anyone walked into Thunderbird Two's hanger, they would find the Firefly out of her pod with a pair of legs showing out from under her.

"Here" A gruff voice said and handed Virgil the cloth, who slid out and was surprised to find Jeff standing nearby.

"What are you doing down here Dad?" Virgil asked before wiping the oil away from his face and hands.

"I came down to see how the adjustments were going" Jeff said with a slight smile.

Virgil looked up from where he dug around in his toolbox before grabbing the right tool. "If that is what you believe" He said before sliding back under the Firefly.

"We have to talk Virgil... about what you told me a few days ago" Jeff said finding it difficult to talk to his second born son while he worked under the machine.

"Well I'm a little busy at the moment father, I need to finish these adjustments before the next call" Virgil's muffled voice came out from under the Firefly.

Jeff sighed deeply and leaned against the large yellow machine, "The Firefly is safely out of the way here from the launch of Thunderbird Two... come out please," He said wincing in having to beg slightly.

The slight clanking stopped before Virgil rolled back out, who looked down at his feet then threw the tool that was in his hand back in the large toolbox. "It's not me that you should talk to Dad... the real person you need to talk to is in Seattle" He said getting up off the board and stretched.

Jeff sighed and rubbed his temples in a slight circular movement still leaning against the side of the Firefly. "Ok Virgil... I'll go and get ready, will you all be ok here?" He asked moving away from the Firefly.

"If you're talking about International Rescue then yes we'll manage but as a family..." Virgil shook his head with a deep sigh. "I don't really know... now if you excuse me I need to go and find a new pipe for the Firefly" He said with a soft smile and headed towards the pods.

Jeff watched his second born son disappear off to the other side of the hanger before he climbed back up the stairs to the service elevator to go and get ready for his journey to the mainland.

_**I wanna start this over again  
**__**So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered**_

Rose Tracy, mother of Jeff Tracy and grandmother to the five Tracy sons was lost in thought as she worked around the kitchen preparing their evening meal, she felt someone watching her and when she turned around she came face to face with her two youngest grandsons.

"Gordon, Alan. What can I do for you two?" Rose asked her grandsons with a smile.

"Hi Grandma, we wanted to get a coffee if that is ok," Gordon said with a smile seeing Alan leaning against the breakfast bar tiredly.

"Sure, come and help yourself" Rose replied and looked at Alan, "How many hours sleep have you got over the last few days?" She asked seeing that her grandson was about to fall asleep on the breakfast bar, while Gordon joined her in the kitchen to make their coffees.

"Not sure... think about two possibly three hours, just haven't been able to sleep" Alan said tiredly and hid a yawn.

Rose sighed quietly, "I know the last few days have been hard on all of us especially with what I have been told by Scott, I'm sure that everything will become better than what it was before" She said with a smile.

"Now I suggest that you have your coffee and go and get some sun" Rose added with a slight command tone in her voice.

Alan smiled and felt more hopeful than he had in the last few days, ever since Scott and himself had found John up on Thunderbird Five. "Ok Grandma" He said with a slight yawn.

_**And I can't explain what happened  
**__**And I can't erase the things that I've done**_

Scott sighed deeply as the elevator pinged as it arrived in the foyer of the Kingdom Hotel, as the doors whooshed open the people inside came out and allowed him inside.

Once inside the elevator car, Scott pressed the button to the floor his hotel room was located on and as the doors closed he moved back to lean against the cool metal of the car before it started its journey up.

As the elevator travelled up, Scott thought over his latest visit to the hospital and how John was with no sign of his voice returning. '_Maybe we do need to talk to a psychiatrist...' _He thought playing with the strap of his watch as he watched the numbers change above the doors.

'_Grandma is trying her best to get Dad to open up but no one on the island can help him... the only one that can has lost his voice' _Scott thought stuffing his hands into his pockets as the elevator stopped and opened its doors at the requested level.

Scott took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he left the elevator car and headed down the corridor towards the hotel room registered to him for a hot shower and change of clothes.

_**No I can't  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

Virgil watched from the balcony as his father's jet fly away from the island setting course for the U.S mainland. '_Good luck_' He thought before heading back inside the main complex.

Rose looked up from her sowing that she was setting up in her chair, "Is everything ok?" She asked her grandson as he sat at his piano.

Virgil flexed his fingers before warming up by playing a few scales, "I hope so, now that Dad has gone to talk to John... do you think this would work Grandma?" He asked as he continued to play the scales.

"It has to Virgil, we have tried everything else and now with John recovering from meningitis and the stress of that causing him to loose his voice... we just have to have hope" Rose said with a small smile before starting her sowing.

Virgil smiled, "You're right Grandma" He replied before closing his eyes and lost himself in his music to try and relax.

_**I've made my mistake  
**__**Got nowhere to run**_

Scott rested his head on the cool glass of the window, the headache that had built up in the shower throbbing against the coolness of the glass.

His shirt hung over his shoulders, the buttons undone allowing the slight breeze coming from the window blow across his bare torso.

Sighing deeply, Scott left the window and across to the bed flopping down on it and buried his head in the pillows hoping that if he got some sleep then his headache would be gone.

He was just about to doze off when his wristcom called for attention from its place on the bedside table; reaching across blindly he brought the bleeping device and activated it.

"Hey" Scott said tiredly pushing his hair back after digging himself out of the pillow.

Gordon's smiling face appeared, "Hey Scott" Thought I'd call ya... oh did I get the time difference wrong?" He spoke up energetically then noticed how tired Scott was.

"No Gordo, just thought get some rest that's all! What's up?" Scott asked moving about on the bed till he was sitting up with his back to his pillows.

"Oh right, well Dad left the island a while ago... I think that Virgil and Grandma has gotten into his hard shell" Gordon said, his smile not as strong as normal.

Scott frowned, "So he's on his way here, or to the hospital to see John... how long ago did he leave?" He asked his brother looking at the clock on the wall on the far side of the room.

"About half an hour ago... Virgil told me that Dad came down to where he was working on the Firefly down in the hanger" Gordon told Scott with a small sigh. "Why is everyone so cold Scott?" He asked rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"It's because we're all tired and worried about John, we have always been able to talk to him about our troubles and now its his troubles that he needs to be able to talk about" Scott said with a sigh. "But everything will be fine soon, we just have to keep the faith and hope that when his voice comes back then we will be a happier family" He said with a slight smile.

Gordon's smile returned, "You're right Scott" He said and looked off screen. "I better go, sounds like Alan just splashed Tin-Tin" Gordon spoke up with a grin.

"Ok Gordon, I'll call you later" Scott said with a shake of his head and closed the wristcom down before moving down his bed slightly to be able to put his head on his pillows.

'_I hope I'm right... I know that we are all worried for our brother but he is always trapping his emotions inside himself..._' Scott thought to himself looking at where he had set up his wallet to show a picture of the family before they had split up heading off to have their own lives.

"What am I going to do?" Scott asked and buried his face into his pillows.

_**The night goes on  
**__**As I'm fading away**_

"This is Seattle Control, identify yourself" A man called the Swiftwind jet.

"This is Tracy One requesting landing procedure" Jeff called glad that the quietness of the flight from Tracy Island to Seattle was coming to an end.

"Roger that Tracy One, stand by" Seattle Control spoke up again before silence took over the radio.

Jeff held the Swiftwind jet in a circular position over Seattle International Airport and waited for space to become available for him to land.

'_This is going to be hard... I wish I had your help Lucille, it had just been so difficult to run all of this and raise the boys up by myself_' He thought then shook his head clear of the thoughts of his long deceased wife and mother of his sons.

'_But you weren't alone! You had help from your parents, you still have help from your mother_' A voice spoke in his mind. '_Then when you buried yourself in your work it was up to Scott to help raise his brothers_' The voice carried on.

Jeff shook his head, '_I tried! But I wanted to make sure what happened to her never happened to anyone again_' He answered the voice back.

'_The boys were there, they needed you to help them with the loss of their mother or a father they could turn to for advice instead of turning to each other for it instead_' The voice spoke up again.

"Tracy One, this is Seattle Control" The radio blared into life.

"This is Tracy One, go ahead" Jeff called back, the radio interrupted his inner thoughts talking to him.

"Permission to land at gate eighteen, follow pattern eight to land and dock" Seattle Control spoke up.

"Roger Seattle Control" Jeff spoke up and pulled the jet out the holding position he had been holding.

_**I'm sick of this life  
**__**I just wanna scream**_

John jumped awake and coughed hard, he didn't hear the door to his room open until he felt a hand rest on his shoulder helping him stay upright.

"Easy, slow deep breaths, nice and slow" The familiar voice said keeping his grip on John's shoulder.

John forced his lungs to take deep slow breaths as the coughing subsided until they left him exhausted, his vision blurred where his eyes watered.

"I'll go and get Doctor Hall, see if we can do anything for this cough you got" Nurse Joe said once he was sure that John was ok.

John nodded tiredly and started helping himself to a cup of water from the bedside cabinet, his hands shook lightly as his lifted the jug.

Nurse Joe frowned slightly but shrugged it off to John being tired after the small coughing fit that he had just had before leaving the room to page Dr. Hall.

'_Hate this cough... why can't this leave me alone_' John thought to himself as he leaned back against his pillows before sipping the water slowly feeling the cold liquid slip down his raw throat.

'_Where did it come from... its just not fair_' He thought as he continued to sip the water.

_**How could this happen to me  
**__**I've made my mistake**_

Scott groaned as he woke up from his light nap hearing someone knocking on the main door of his hotel room. He rolled over from his side onto his front, pushing himself up off the bed.

The knocking got louder as he got up off the bed and out of the bedroom; "I'm coming!" Scott called rubbing his eyes tiredly knocking the dirt out of his eyes.

Unlocking the door and saw his father there in the hallway, "Dad? Come in" Scott said waking up fully and opened the door wider letting his father into his hotel room.

"Hello son, sorry that I woke you up" Jeff said coming into the hotel room.

"No its ok father, was just getting some rest. I can call up for coffee," Scott said closing and locking the door before waving to the couch in the small lounge area.

"That would be nice Scott, have you had any news about John?" Jeff asked as he walked into the lounge and sat down on the couch.

Scott sighed and entered the lounge and sat down on the armchair, "He was just getting some rest when I left... he's picked up a cough" He said rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly.

Jeff frowned. "Everyone on the island is worried about him," He said in a low voice.

Scott opened his eyes and looked at his father waiting for him to finish.

Jeff saw this and sighed, "I am worried too, it is unlike any of you to button anything up for so long" He said, saying what was on his mind.

Scott frowned and got up onto his feet, and crossed over to where the window was, allowing the person looking out of the window. "How can you tell that John is like the rest of us? He is more complex than any of us," He said keeping his voice clear even though his back was to his father.

"Now hold on Scott -" Jeff said but was cut off by Scott, who had turned around to face his father glaring darkly.

"No Dad, I'm sorry but you have put our brother down time after time even after coming back from a rescue! We have turned to him for help with any fights that broke out between us or when we needed a different opinion while out there in a danger zone" Scott said keeping his voice low and sharp.

Jeff sighed and waited for Scott to finish venting his anger to him.

"I know that he loves being up in Thunderbird Five amongst the stars but even John has his limits, I know that when you tell him that he would be up there longer because you can't afford to send someone up there to replace him so he can spend time not only down on the island for some much needed sun but amongst his family he loves and we love having him amongst us" Scott carried on pacing slightly, his breath a little sharp.

Jeff watched his eldest son pace while telling him what his inner conscience had been telling him since he landed at Seattle International Airport.

Scott groaned and crashed down onto the armchair, "But right now instead of being fit and healthy amongst us back at the island, John is in that hospital amongst strangers without a voice" He said resting his head in his hands, his fingers tangled up amongst his fringe of his hair.

Jeff sighed quietly, "So maybe the cough is a sign that his voice is coming back... and Scott, it's more complicated than it seems" He said with a soft moan as he got back up on his feet and walked over to the window.

Scott looked at his watch before looking at the figure of his father. "We have a few hours until the next visiting hours start, so talk" He said getting comfortable in the armchair and watched his father.

_**Got nowhere to run  
**__**The night goes on**_

John rubbed his eyes tiredly with a small rough sigh as he read over the menu again, checking what he had chosen hoping that the food he had chosen had some taste.

He coughed lightly as he put the menu on the cabinet and leaned back against his pillows before pulling the swing table over that held his magazine that Scott had got him along with the notepad covered in diagrams and calculations he wanted to try himself.

The door opened to reveal Nurse Joe, "Hello there John, how are you feeling now?" He asked seeing John looking up from reading an article in the magazine and flipped his notepad to a clean page before writing a brief note.

Nurse Joe walked over and looked at the notepad; "Well John, at least the antibiotics that we gave you are helping with the cough" He said with a smile seeing John nod and wrote down his response.

"We think that this cough has been brought from someone or that your voice is trying to return" Nurse Joe said after reading the response on the notepad.

John sighed raspily leaning heavily against the pillows behind his back half looking at the article in front of him, playing with the pen in his fingers.

Nurse Joe looked up from where he was writing his notes on the clipboard, "I'll let you get some rest before visiting hours start as I'm sure your brother will be back then" He said with a smile before finishing his notes and clipped the clipboard back on the bed.

John held out the form he had recently filled out for Nurse Joe to take as he flipped the notepad pages back to his diagrams and calculations.

Nurse Joe glanced at them as he took the form and shook his head as he left the room leaving the blonde young man to his magazine.

_**As I'm fading away  
**__**I'm sick of this life**_

Jeff waited for Scott as he had disappeared into the large shop on the ground floor of the large hospital. Jeff fidgeted nervously as people around him went on their way, a mixture of visitors, patients and hospital staff.

"Ok Dad, let's go" Scott said emerging from the shop carrying a brown paper bag, the contents unknown to Jeff as they navigated through the traffic of people.

"What's that for?" Jeff asked wondering what his son up to.

Scott pressed the elevator call button, "I found out that this elevator comes out just outside of the ward John is in" He said ignoring Jeff's question.

Jeff nodded and remained silent as they waited for the elevator, which arrived with a slight ping. The elevator ride up was too silent with only the sound of the elevator until they finally arrived on the correct floor.

"Let's go... better wait outside so that I can tell John that you're here" Scott said tightening the grip on the paper bag as he left the elevator with Jeff following close behind.

"Mr Tracy, we have given your brother some antibiotics" Nurse Joe said as they entered the ward from where he had come out from a private room, "So he might be a little sleepy from them" He said joining them as they walked down the corridor.

"Thanks Nurse Joe, we won't keep him long then," Scott said with a smile.

"Ok, I'll see you later" Nurse Joe said before leaving them, entering his office.

Scott smiled and opened the door to find John awake and writing on the notepad in front of him. "Hey bro, having fun?" He asked setting the bag down next to the magazine.

John put the pen down and looked in the bag, '_Grapes?_' He signed, '_What are these for?_' John signed again wondering what his brother was up to.

"Peace offering… just that he's come here to talk to you" Scott said wondering what John's reaction was going to be.

'_What does he want?_' John asked before shifting a little.

Scott sighed, "He just wants to talk John, he told me why you stayed up there," He said before helping himself to a grape from the bag.

John coughed lightly not looking at his brother lost in thought before lifting his hands up to sign only to be taken over by a deep chesty cough causing him to wrap his arms around his stomach.

Scott walked forward and placed his hands on John's shoulders to help him stay upright as the cough continued, "Easy John, its ok" Scott said above the coughing as his brother tried to calm him breathing down.

What the two brothers didn't hear was the door to John's room open and Jeff stepping inside slightly, he was shocked to see Scott supporting John as the younger brother continued to cough while Scott held him back.

Eventually the coughing subsided once again leaving John slowly and raspily gasping for breath, Scott got a cup of water and helped his brother to take small sips.

"Are you ok now John?" Scott asked placing the half-full cup down on the table.

John nodded and noticed their father standing just inside the doorway. "Y-you might as well come in Dad," He said croakily and quietly in an almost whisper.

Jeff sighed and entered the room properly, "Son we need to talk" He said inwardly glad that his son had his voice back.

John nodded, "We do Dad..." He replied in the same croaky and quiet voice.

_**I just want to scream  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

_To be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

Tears Chapter Four

A/N: _Sorry for the long delay but these chapters do take a couple of weeks to write amongst my other things in life like my family and friends, as well as work! I do have other fanfics that do require my attention. _

_I have realised that I did not put the disclaimers in and say what the songs were in previous chapters, I am indeed sorry that I do not own Thunderbirds - If I did then there would be more John in the episodes! _

_I do not own the songs from the previous chapters:- _

_If Only Tears Could Bring You Back - M2M_

_Blame it on the weatherman - B Witched_

_Untitled - Simple Plan_

_And _

_Search For The Hero - M People_

_End A/N_

  
- - - -

_**Sometimes the river flows but nothing breathes**_

_**A train arrives but never leaves**_

John accepted the cup of water from Scott and sipped on its contents in attempt to sooth his raw throat a little. "Thanks Scott, you can stay in here if you want to" He said with his quiet and partly cracked voice.

"I'm not going anywhere John" Scott said with a dark glare to their father before taking his seat near John.

Jeff looked at the two brothers seeing how close they were even though when on the island Scott seemed more close to Virgil rather than any of the other brothers, but now he was really close to John. John himself had a little more colour in his cheeks than what he had when just brought into the hospital, but he now looked tired and wanted a decent sleep.

"I know that you're tired but we are going to need to talk sooner or later" Jeff said as he helped himself to a chair and sat down gently.

John nodded tiredly and pushed himself back up from where he had slid down during his latest coughing fit. "I know Dad, its just that ever since mom died you treated me differently even though you were hardly ever around... when you were I felt left out amongst my other brothers" He said with his voice a little stronger before taking another slow and long breath.

"When you did get home and did your best to interact with us then you would always shut me out even though I was doing my best to be there for my other brothers when Scott couldn't! Not once..." John stopped to cough lightly and shook his head at the cup of water Scott was holding. "Not once did you say thank you John, or tell me that everything would be alright soon" He said, wiping at his eyes tiredly.

"John - -" Jeff started to say but was interrupted. "Let him finish Dad" Scott said seeing that John really needed to do this.

"When you started shutting yourself away at your office then Scott and myself both put our own studies aside to make sure that the family and the house didn't fall apart... even when we all left to go and have our own lives then I felt your presence" John continued to get this off his chest.

"All of my superiors thought fondly of you Dad, as soon as they heard my name it was, 'your father this', or 'your father that', but all I could do was smile and accept it while trying to make my own mark in NASA away from your shoeprints" John stopped to cough once again but this time accepted the cup of water from Scott, and took a few sips grateful for the cold water as it soothed his throat.

"If only they could see the blame and the hurt that I saw, each time I looked... still see in your eyes... the reason why I stayed up in Thunderbird Five was because I couldn't stand the pain of being blamed for mom's death... why can't you see that I'm not mom! So just get over it already..." He said breaking down into a wave of tears muffled by the occasional cough.

Scott jumped up and brought John into a comforting hug even though he knew that it should be Jeff hugging John not him, turning to look at their father he could only see Jeff standing behind the chair he had originally been sat in.

Jeff was lost in his own thoughts and memories he thought that he'd buried so long ago. "John... I..." He tried to say but received a look from Scott that he should leave the room and let John get some much needed rest.

_**It's a shame**_

_**Oh life like love that walks out of the door**_

Scott pulled back and saw that John had given way to the antibiotics, and had fallen asleep against him. Slowly Scott moved John back against the pillows and made sure that he was covered up before leaving the room.

As he left the room, Scott came face to face with Nurse Joe. "Hello Nurse Joe" He said quietly closing the door behind him.

"Hello Scott, is John asleep?" Nurse Joe asked holding onto a clipboard and pen.

"Yes he is, his voice came back but wore himself out and that with the medicine" Scott told Nurse Joe as the senior nurse worked on the notes on the clipboard.

"Ok, I'll make sure that he's not disturbed" Nurse Joe said putting his pen back in his pocket and the clipboard under his arm.

"Thanks Nurse Joe, have you seen my father?" Scott asked wondering where their father had wandered off to after being told to leave the room.

"I think I saw him heading up to the hibiscus ward but he did seem a little distant" Nurse Joe said nodding down the corridor behind him.

"Thanks Joe" Scott said with a smile and headed off down the corridor after his father.

_**Of being rich or being poor**_

_**Such a shame**_

Rose sipped at her calming tea while sitting on the small chair in her room; she had just come from the kitchen where Alan and Gordon helped cleaning up the kitchen after their latest meal. She could see that her grandsons were tired and worried about their missing brothers, Virgil especially as he was only seen when he was hungry or the need of playing the piano became too strong, he was hiding down in Thunderbird Two's hanger.

Rose remembered hearing a conversation between Alan and Gordon that Virgil had been performing heavy maintenance on Thunderbird Two and its pod equipment, he had give the large green transporter a coat of polish by hand for something to do with the lack of rescues and the worry for his brothers on mainland.

Sighing to herself, Rose moaned softly as she got to her feet and left her room to go and find Virgil, and have a talk with him to see if she could reawaken her second born grandson's artistic side.

_**But its then, then that faith arrives**_

_**To make you feel at least alive**_

Jeff went over the conversation that had happened in the private room down the corridor, he didn't know that John felt that way.

"He's right though... he does look like you Lucille, maybe that was the problem" He said quietly with a sigh and looked out of the window, not really taking in the view.

"Because that he looked like you was the reason why I shut him out and because he grew up like that... when we started the organization then he was reluctant to leave NASA but then discovered 'five and been up there with the occasional week away..." Jeff continued quietly.

Scott walked quietly along the corridor and found Jeff looking out of the window that he himself had looked out of when John had first lost his voice.

He ducked back and stayed out of his father's view, listening to Jeff talk quietly to himself while looking out of the window. Scott knew that Jeff needed to do this just like John did before breaking down.

"Maybe because it helped not seeing him on the island... helped me try and get over you or because it might be that I'm afraid of loosing him out there in the field... but that is like with all of our sons Lucille, I'm just afraid of loosing any of them" Jeff said with a deep sigh and took a tight hold of the rail in front of him.

Scott inwardly sighed and joined Jeff at the window, "You're not going to loose us Dad, we're too careful out there... I know that John would probably say the same" He said with tiredness in his voice and posture before leaning against the rail, his shoulders slouching low.

"How long have you been there?" Jeff asked not looking away from the view out of the window.

"Not long... but I think he needs a holiday once he gets out of here father, I want to go with him... he's going to need someone with him" Scott said turning away from the view, smiled at a nurse who walked by before turning back to the view.

Jeff sighed and loosened one hand to wipe away the tiredness from his eyes then massaged his forehead slightly. "I know Scott, he's not ready to go home... not yet anyway" He said tiredly and looked at his eldest son with a small smile. "I think I better head home myself... need to sort out the mess at home" Jeff said remembering how his other sons and his own mother was cold to him.

"Ok Dad, I need to take care of a few things anyway, do you want me to follow you to the airport?" Scott asked looking at his father, not moving from leaning against the rail in front of the window.

"I'll be fine, you should get going... I'll just get a taxi back to the airport" Jeff said and glanced at his watch. "Should get going myself if I want to get back to the island before nightfall" He said with a sigh.

"Ok father, I'll talk to you later" Scott said with a groan and pushed away from the rail, and headed back along the corridor disappearing around the corner.

_**And that's why you should keep on aiming high**_

_**Just seek yourself and you will shine**_

Nurse Joe sighed with relief as he sat down at his desk; it had been a busy shift as soon as he got in this morning. He reached over for his cup of coffee that he had went to get before checking the last patient on his rounds and took the lid off allowing the aroma of the hot bitter drink fill his small office.

"Ah Seattle's best coffee in the whole hospital! Long shift?" A voice called from the doorway, allowing the bright light to enter the brightly-lit office.

"It has been Dan... too long" Nurse Joe said as he leaned against his desk and sipped on his coffee, hoping that the caffeine would help him pull through the rest of his shift.

Dr Hall sighed and took up a seat just inside the door of the senior nurse's office. "How are they out there? Looks like you're a nurse or two down!" He said remembering looking at the nurse's station as he entered the ward.

"I am, I was thinking of calling the agency for help but two patients have been transferred to another ward leaving us with two empty beds at the moment" Nurse Joe said before drinking more of his coffee.

"That's right... we'll soon have those beds filled again, apart from that, everything ok?" Dr Hall asked as he put his stethoscope around the back of his neck.

"Yeah everything's fine, though think our young patient will be ready to be discharged soon" Nurse Joe said as he turned in his chair to face Dr Hall slightly.

"Oh? I gather that his voice has returned... I think its best that we do one more blood test just to be on the safe side" Dr Hall said as his beeper went off.

Nurse Joe nodded," Ok Dan, I'll see you later" He said to the doctor before he got up and rushed out of the door.

_**You've got to search for the hero inside yourself**_

_**Search for the secrets you hide**_

Virgil sighed as he finished washing his hair out after changing the oil and grease of the Mole, he went over what had been done and what he had still have to do down in Thunderbird Two's hanger.

He had shut himself up in the hanger since their return to the island, he couldn't focus on his music or his painting as his mind kept going over what he had said to their father at the hospital where their middle brother was currently recovering.

Virgil had decided that he would call Scott once he had cleaned himself up after the Mole decided to throw oil all down his overalls and leave black streaks in his hair and on his cheeks.

Flexing his shoulders slightly as the water rolled down them from the shower above his head, Virgil could feel that a trip to the gym would be needed once he had got in contact with their eldest brother but until either Jeff or Scott came back to the island then he knew that if a call came through he would have to ask Brains to run the operations on the island while Alan took his place as field commander and the pilot of Thunderbird One.

'_Now that I think about that, I think that we should have John trained to fly Thunderbird One and pilot her instead of Alan while Scott's away or just take turns_' Virgil thought as he shut the shower and opened the cubicle letting the steam roll out into the luxury bathroom.

"Worth a mention" He muttered as he reached for a towel from the rack and started drying himself off before leaving the bathroom.

_**Search for the hero inside yourself**_

_**Until you find the key to your life**_

Scott sighed as he closed his hotel room door resting his back to it and looked around the small suite to see that the cleaner had came and changed the linen, and made the bed with what he could guess was fresh towels in the bathroom.

Flipping the light on, he walked into the room fully and placed the bag that he was given when he had stopped at the Starbucks Cafe to pick up a coffee and something light to eat as he wasn't really in the mood to face the other hotel guests after the day he had had at the hospital.

Kicking his shoes off, Scott walked over to the small stereo that came with his room and played around until he found a radio station that suited his musical tastes at the moment. With a deep sigh he rubbed his eyes tiredly and went back to where he left his small bag of food to see if he could eat anything.

Quiet beeping filled the air coming from his wristcom calling for his attention; with a small groan Scott put his tuna salad baguette down and walked off to the bedroom sitting down on the bed before answering it.

"Scott here" Scott answered with a small sigh.

"Hi Scott, you know you said that if we ever need to talk all I had to do was ask?" Virgil asked with a small smile just as his face appeared on Scott's wristcom.

Scott leaned back against the headrest, "I did" He said and studied his brother's face. "What's wrong?" Scott asked seeing that something was troubling Virgil.

"We need to talk" Virgil simply said before going over all of his mixed thoughts and emotions.

_**In this life, long and hard it may seem**_

_**Live it as you'd live a dream**_

John swung his legs over the side of the bed watching his feet swing while waiting for Scott to come back from going to talk to Dr Hall as the latest blood test had came back clean of the meningitis. They had decided on visiting the hideaway cabin that they had brought during their late teens, before separating to go off either to the Air Force or to NASA.

The one thing that had got Seattle General Hospital's staff concerned was John's voice would come back for a little while before fading once again, his throat had healed from where it had got rubbed raw from his illness but still John's voice had not returned to how it was.

Scott had convinced them that all John needed was to relax away from the hospital, so now he was filling out the forms while John got his things together. Over the past few days, his small magazine and book collection had grown as well as cards from some of the nurses; John had asked Scott to buy them all flowers as thanks which had caused chaos in the wing.

John sighed tiredly as he looked around the now bare room, he would be glad when he got out of the hospital and up to their secret cabin. "Hey John, all done there... we're ready to go" Scott said with a grin as he entered the room.

'_Great_' John signed before jumping off the bed, he had found out that his voice had disappeared once again shortly after breakfast.

Scott's smile softened and picked up John's bag that he had thrown together in the rush to the hospital when they just found John up in Thunderbird Five then back onto the island then to here, Seattle. "So ready to leave?" He asked checking around the room.

John nodded, '_Ready when you are! And no way am I going to eat anymore Jell-O!_' He signed with a small smile.

Scott laughed and waved to the open door that led to the rest of the hospital, "Well where that is concerned I'm hopeless" He said with a grin and led the way out of the hospital, footsteps behind him let Scott know that John was following him through the maze that was Seattle General Hospital.

_**Aim so high**_

_**Just keep the flames of truth burning bright**_

Gordon sighed as he sat down by the pool, Alan had crashed down on the sun lounger near him after playing tennis against Tin-Tin and by the way Tin-Tin had returned to the sundeck that she had won.

Smiling softly he pulled his shirt off and threw it to the chair where he had put his towel earlier before sliding into the pool The family had gone back to what they call normal except without Scott or John on the island, the last time Scott called to say that he had arranged a holiday with John and was about to pick him up from the hospital before heading off.

Gordon swam around the pool, dived down and touched the bottom of the pool before going back to his laps around the large pool getting lost in his thoughts as his body entered the trance he was in while swimming just like Virgil did when painting or playing his music.

Alan watched from the sun lounger where he rested until he got enough strength to get up and head back to his room for a long hot shower before just enjoying the rest of the day out in the sun. He sighed deeply remembering the talk Gordon and himself had had with Jeff after their father had returned.

Virgil had talked with Jeff shortly after; now his older brother was in the study opposite his bedroom more likely painting.

_**Because you and only you alone**_

_**Can build a bridge across the stream**_

The sun rose up over the trees chasing away the mist that had formed overnight, the sunlight shone off the lake making the clear water sparkle.

The fish jumped up after the flies that flew close to the waters edge, leaving behind ripples in the water, the sun beams travelled along the lake's bank and through the glass of the cabin that sat near the woods edge.

The cabin is a small two stories wooden building, it looked well built but natural to the lakeside. Its occupants were currently asleep but the bright sunbeams fought through the thin curtains and onto the twin beds of the bedroom.

One of the occupants groaned and dug deeper into the layers of blankets while the other groaned and opened his eyes tiredly, before stretching over to the bedside for his watch to see what the time was.

Sighing, he threw the blankets off before getting up off the bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, once in the bathroom he striped off his clothes while waiting for the water to warm up.

Once the water was the right temperature, he stepped into the shower cubicle and sighed with relief in feeling the warm water wake up his tired muscles.

He faintly heard a thud come from the bedroom and smiled knowing that his brother was heading down to the kitchen for his wake up coffee before starting on breakfast. Soon as he felt he was wet enough, he reached for the shower gel and started his morning wash before leaving the shower, and joining his brother to help breakfast.

_**Your passport to a feel supreme**_

_**You've got to search for the hero inside yourself**_

Entering the kitchen, the young man winced as he entered the sunbeams that shone through the window as he made his way through the kitchen to the coffee maker.

Working through half closed eyes, he managed to change the filter and make sure that the pot was in the right place before waiting for the coffee maker to warm up, and produce the bitter hot drink to wake the cabin's occupants.

Leaning against the counter the young man closed his eyes and went over the events of the last three days since leaving Seattle to coming here for a few days before they returned home.

"Coffee ready?" A voice asked coming into the kitchen making the young man open his eyes to see his brother joining him.

"Hey, just put it on" Scott said before, stifling a yawn and looked at his youngest brother with a smile, he could still hear the croakiness in John's voice where he had lost it during the time his body was fighting against the illness.

Though now John looked healthier but still showing signs of tiredness and thinner from where the fever had burned at him during the illness.

"What? Did I miss something?" John asked before coughing slightly to loose the slight croak in his voice.

"No, just thinking that's all... do you want to go fishing after breakfast?" Scott asked, smiling and covered a yawn as the coffee maker started making the coffee.

"Sure, but think you need a wash first" John said with a smile and started getting things out from one of the high cupboards.

"You're right" Scott said and yawned loudly, crossed the kitchen and walked into the cupboard door with a loud plonk.

John closed the cupboard and looked at his brother, who looked dazed holding his hand over the spot he had hit his head. "Scott, are you ok?" He asked crossing over to where Scott was leaning against the counter.

"Y-yeah, I should be fine... just needing my caffeine" Scott said and walked out of the kitchen to let John make the coffee.

John opened a draw and pulled out the small first aid kit before following his brother out of the kitchen as the coffee maker poured the coffee into the pot.

Scott winced feeling a little cut on his forehead when he moved his hand, he found a little bit of blood on his palm, "Let me deal with that" A croaky voice said coming into the living room.

"Thanks John, you better take it easy with your voice as you don't want to loose it again" Scott said sitting down on the armchair with a sigh.

"I know Scott, but it's not easy... I didn't even know that I would have lost my voice..." John said as he looked through the first aid kit, which laid open next to him.

Scott sighed and leaned forward resting his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. "I know John, but at least you're well now..." He said and winced when he felt the small cut sting in reaction to what John was using to clean it.

"I guess so" John muttered, focusing on cleaning Scott's cut before he could put a plaster on it.

_**Search for the secrets you hide**_

_**Search for the hero inside yourself**_

The complex filled with the sound of the piano, filling the area with wandering music reflecting the player's mood. The occupants that were either inside or out enjoying the tropical sun, or the coolness of the pool.

One of the complex occupants looked up from his paperwork in hearing the music, '_He's been playing that same song for the last two days..._' He thought with a sigh and reached across for his cup of coffee.

Gordon swam laps in the pool, barely hearing Virgil's song as he tried to stop his mind from overloading on thoughts and worries.

Alan watched from the sun lounger being told to take a break from watching Thunderbird Five's automated systems by Brains, so that the young genius could do some work on some of the more sensitive systems of the space station. '_He's been better... we all have_' He thought with a sigh, pushing his shades back up his nose and moved on the sun lounger to get comfortable for a nap.

_**Until you find the key to your life**_

_**Search inside yourself, you've got to search **_

John looked across when he heard a light snore coming from his right, he could see Scott fast asleep in his chair with his fishing rod stuck in the ground in front of him.

Shaking his head with a slight smile, John reached down for his bottle of water and took a long drink from it before looking back out to the sparkling lake with a deep sigh. '_It's not the same looking out at this peaceful lake compared to the ocean at the island_' He thought to himself and heard a small pop in the lake.

Scott groaned slightly as he moved in his chair, a little just as he heard his fishing rod starting to wind out. "Ah Scott! You've caught something!" John called over from his chair.

"What? Oh..." Scott jumped out of his chair and barely caught his fishing rod but fell flat on his face because of his feet getting tangled up in his chair.

John covered his mouth in hope to keep the laughter being built up inside of him; with his other hand he wiped away the tears from his eyes.

Scott fought against the pull of the fish in the lake as he got back up on his feet; he swore colourfully and tried to pull the fish in towards him.

John laughed out loud unable to contain it any longer, Scott spun around and grinned but the fish gave one more mighty pull forcing Scott into the lake.

John gained himself enough to see this before giving way to another bout of laughter, his arms wrapped tightly around his sides.

Scott climbed out of the lake having let the fish go he moved his hair out of his eyes and saw John in a fit of laughter on his own deckchair. "Funny Johnny! Real funny!" He said splashing his brother with the water from his shirt.

Scott was happy to hear John laughing like this; it had been too long since he had heard his brother laugh like this. "I'm going to go and get dried off! Better pack the gear away for a while, I'm not in the mood for fish now" He told John before heading into the cabin leaving his brother to clean up.

_**Search inside yourself, you've got to search**_

_**You've got to search for the hero inside yourself**_

"I-I-I believe i-its a mudslide Mr T-Tracy" Brains said reading Thunderbird Five's scanners as only a few short minutes ago it had triggered the alarm calling everyone back inside from where they had spread out.

"How bad Brains?" Jeff asked wondering how much damage had been caused.

"I-I-It's hard to s-say, Th-Th-Th- the station has go-got a p-p-strange ah dialect" Brains stuttered heavily as he looked at the monitor in front of him.

"I see... ok Brains, find out what you can" Jeff told the young genius before turning to his three sons. "Ok boys, we're going to have to be careful out there, Alan go ahead in Thunderbird One and see what you can find out" He ordered his sons.

"Ok Dad, I think we better be prepared for a muddy rescue!" Alan said even though he was unsure how bad the danger zone would be like once they got there. '_We've done a rescue without Scott before, but why does it feel different_' He thought to himself.

"We'll need to focus on the rescue at hand... even though we are all worried about Scott and John, we need to focus as this is what we do" Jeff told his sons seeing that they were all distracted.

Virgil took a deep breath and pushed all of the family thoughts and worries away from his mind. "You're right father, there are people out there waiting for help" He said with a soft sigh.

"Virgil's right, we should get going!" Gordon said with a small smile.

"Ok boys away you go!" Jeff told his sons as Brains worked on the computer with a small frown on his face.

_**Search for the secrets you hide**_

_**Search for the hero inside yourself **_

John sipped on the cold glass of water watching Scott chop the vegetables for their next meal. "I can help you know" He muttered from behind his glass.

"I saw you wince earlier so you are going to sit there and take it easy" Scott said without looking up from his chore.

John rolled his eyes, "It wasn't anything, just a cramp from where I was sat in the chair that's all" He told his eldest brother and leaned back against the back of the chair.

Scott sighed and reached over to turn the radio that was playing softly in the background down, "Just remember that we got only a few more days until we have to return to the island... so just take it easy ok?" He said to John, not facing but his knife down.

John sighed and got up from the table leaving Scott in the kitchen, '_How do I know that they won't send me back up there once we're home_' He thought to himself as he walked through the cabin till he reached the lounge.

'_All he cared about was Thunderbird Five operated with only Alan coming up at a month at a time... I know Virgil gets space sick while Gordon just doesn't feel comfortable_' John thought to himself with a deep sigh and a slight wince as he sat down on the armchair, his arm cradling his sensitive ribcage.

Scott watched from the doorway of the kitchen with worry written all over his face and with a deep sigh headed back into the kitchen to finish their meal, '_He's not going to want to back there... not after what he said to Dad at the hospital_' He thought with a deep sigh.

'_I just hope that we can get through this as a family... I need to help them all get through this_' Scott thought closing his eyes and clenched his hands onto the edges of the counter.

_**Search for the secrets you hide**_

_**Search for the hero inside yourself**_

Sighing with a sigh of relief as he pulled out a fresh set of clothes, after pulling off what was suppose to be their blue rescue uniform but it was now caked brown with mud from the rescue they had only just returned from.

Looking at the clock on the wall as he pulled his clothes on, he saw how late it was knowing that their missing family members would be tucked in their own beds. With another sigh and heard voices outside of his room, he smiled softly and left the room to find something to eat now that the adrenaline rush had died down.

"Hey! Gordon's in the kitchen, I'll be there soon but forgot to drop my uniform down at laundry! Be warned though Virg, he's making one of his monster sandwiches" Alan said with a grin before disappearing off to his room.

Virgil shook his head and carried on walking down to the kitchen humming a tune as he entered the kitchen to find Gordon rummaging through the fridge for the ingredients of the sandwiches he was making.

"Hey Gordo! I'll take one of those with extra cheese" Virgil said with a grin as he dug out three glasses and placed them on the counter before joining Gordon at the fridge.

"Sure Virg, I'll have a lemonade think Al will want the same" Gordon said with a grin, carrying a few tubeware that contained the chopped vegetables, mainly salad for the sandwiches.

"Ok Gord, so guess its lemonades all around then" Virgil said pulling out the sealed jug that contained the lemonade and carried it over to the counter to pour the drink into the three glasses.

"Sounds like a great idea! Just have to make sure that you take it easy on the cucumber Gord!" Alan said cheekily from where he leaned against the kitchen entrance watching Gordon walk back and forth from the fridge while Virgil did the drinks.

"Be worried about Virgil, he's asked for extra cheese" Gordon said with a grin as he started opening the tubes and assembling the sandwiches.

"That's cruel Gord! I just like my cheese" Virgil said as he closed the lid on the jug before returning it to the fridge.

Gordon and Alan laughed and together they created their sandwiches as a post mission snack.

_**Until you find the key to your life**_

_**You've got to search for the hero inside yourself**_

Scott glanced over at John as their home island approached on the horizon as he flew their jet closer. "Sure you're up to this?" He asked adjusting his grips on the controls.

John shook his head, "No but I can't keep away from here forever... as much as I hate this place its still my home" He said with a sigh before rubbing his eyes tiredly, his voice only showing a slight bit of a croak but was mostly back enough for them to return to the island.

Three days after their talk at the secret cabin John had decided that they should return back to their tropical island, Scott had been at first surprised but then agreed with his brother knowing that they had to talk as the one big family that they were suppose to be.

"Well it won't be long John, we will soon be landing and be reunited with the others... but looks like we'll be stuck circling the island for a while" Scott said with a slight smile as the communication channel woke up.

"Swiftwind Three come in" Alan's voice called as a sleek form of Thunderbird One appeared on John's side of the plane.

"This is Swiftwind Three, go ahead Thunderbird One! I hope you're looking after my 'bird Al!" Scott answered their youngest brother's call earning a laugh from John.

"She's ok Scott! We're all a bit muddy but nothing a shower can't cure! Besides Virgil's worse off then I am" Alan's voice said as he controlled on flying Thunderbird One on the route home.

"Oh, is everything ok?" John asked, speaking up in front of his brothers for the first time in a while.

"Hey Johnny! Nice to hear your voice again, oh just that Thunderbird Two reminds me of an oddly coloured Dalmatian! Green with brown spots or is that brown with green spots" Alan's voice said cheekily.

"Funny Al! But he's right, it is nice to hear you again John" Virgil butted in as he focused on keeping Thunderbird Two on its steady course back to the island.

Scott smiled and focused on flying the aircraft, keeping the airspeed down to allow the Thunderbird machines by as they had top priority when returning to their hiding places on the island.

"Thanks Virgil, sounds like you got a hard job to get her clean ready for when you go out again" John said with a small smile seeing Thunderbird One move forward.

"It sure does, but at least it isn't ash" Scott said as he adjusted his grip ready to hold the jet steady for when their brothers passed by on their landing procedures to the hidden hangers.

"We'll see you when you've landed" Virgil called before the communication channel went silent.

'_Am I really ready for this?_' John thought to himself as the two large impressive machines overtook them and disappeared onto the island in front of them.

_**Search for the secrets you hide**_

_**Search for the hero inside yourself**_

Joining his father in the office, Gordon found that Scott and John had landed while they had cleaned up after another muddy rescue involving a hotel that was about to collapse into the ocean after a hurricane had destroyed most of its foundations.

Soon Alan closely followed by Virgil joined them all in the office even though they were all tired and wanted something to eat, they were all happy to see John back up on his feet and colour in his cheeks.

"Nice to see you back here at home John" Virgil said with a smile as he sat down on the couch with a soft sigh.

"Thanks Virgil, I guess its ok to be back amongst you guys even though it has been nice to be with Scott for so long" John said with a soft smile his voice squeaking a little.

"How long have you had that squeak in your voice?" Alan asked elbowing Gordon just below his ribs to stop his brother from laughing.

John looked over at Scott who shrugged his shoulders, "Haven't really paid any attention" Scott said from where he was leaning against their father's desk.

Jeff, who had been silent all this time watching his sons talk amongst themselves coughed to gain their attention. "Now as we're all back here we can get back to our organization by having Thunderbird Five manually operated" He said earning tired looks from his sons.

John sighed and sat down on the couch next to Virgil, Scott ran a hand through his hair. "Don't you get it Dad? John could have died up there!" He said glaring at their father as Virgil got up to join Scott.

"All this time John was in hospital or with me at the cabin, I could see the amount of pain and suffering... first I thought that it was just how everyone normally feels but now I know that its because even though our sir names and the occasional sibling rivalry, we're not the family we once were" Scott said, his blue eyes full of anger never leaving their father's.

"Scott's right father, we have been so busy with International Rescue that we have forgotten what we truly are! We are not just a team with advance rescuing technology but we are a family" Virgil said putting a hand on Scott's shoulder for support.

"We have been so caught up with either John or myself up in Thunderbird Five that we came to being use to it... brushing it off like it was nothing" Alan said joining in with his brothers.

"But boys that's what we are, we are all one big family that just have a larger responsibility than normal! Not only because of our large shared business but because we save life's where we can" Jeff said not breaking eye contact with his sons.

"Saving lives? What good is that when could have lost one of our own? I'm just thankful that we got John to the hospital as quickly as we did" Gordon said joining his other brothers in front of Jeff.

_**Until you find the key to your life**_

_**You've got to**_

John sat on the couch listening to his brother's talk to their father standing in front of his desk, he could hear them saying about how they were more of a rescue organization team rather than the family they were suppose to be.

He got up off the couch and joined his brothers. "It's true father... I could remember seeing you here and it looked like you lost one of your precious team members rather than a family member... no, a son" John said and stopped to cough slightly.

"John..." Scott said moving to John's side but the young blonde man shook his head.

"I'm ok; I've got to finish this Scott..." John told his eldest brother.

"What is more important to you? Your sons or your precious organization? Whatever your answer is I'm not going back up there so find another pilot for your precious Thunderbirds!" He said his voice cracking up before he stormed off leaving his brothers and he hoped their father stunned.

_**Search**_

_**Search**_

_**Search**_


	5. Chapter 5

Tears Chapter Five

A/N:  
_Phew this has been a long haul! Sorry it has taken so long to complete this chapter but due to personal reasons it has taken twice as long to do this chapter!_

Like to thank AndrewWilliams once again for his support through this chapter and the difficult time Iam having at the moment but after a short break from this fic I will get on with the last and final chapter of this complicated fic. 

_**When it's the love you give  
**__**I'll be the man of good faith**_

Scott sighed breaking the shocked silence, "Thanks... really thanks," He said running through what had happened during their fast and emotionally high discussion.

"Should go after him" Virgil muttered looking away from his brothers and father, out of the large glass panels showing the views of the island before seeing the ocean.

"But I... we don't know where he goes" Alan spoke up looking at their father who was lost in thought, his eyes looking down at the desk but showed conflicting emotions.

"Give him time Alan, why don't we leave father to his thoughts" Gordon said with a soft smile resting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Scott sighed and left the office with Virgil following closely behind him, "Any thoughts you would like to share Scott?" Virgil's voice asked, penetrating his thoughts.

Scott sighed, "It's nothing Virg! Just that I knew he was uncomfortable with coming back to the island but to see him act like that back there!" He said remembering how fidgety in his seat during the flight back here to the island John had been to the small tantrum he had before leaving the room.

Virgil nodded and sighed before stopping in the middle of the corridor, "I think that we should shut down the organisation... while you and John were away on your small vacation. I noticed that some long time maintenance on Thunderbird Two's engines was needed" He said putting his hands into his pockets.

"It's like John said, we've got to find out how to be a family not the team that we have become" Scott said turning to face Virgil then nodded down to the way they had just came from. "Let's go and tell the old man, see what he has to say about the idea..." He said with a sigh and hoped that John was ok.

_**Then in love you life  
**__**I'll make astand, I won't break**_

John ran along the path of the jungle running to the beach on the north side of the island, trying to leave everything behind him everything he had thought and said since deciding to return to the island.

'_I should have never come back! How could I think, how could I believe that he would have changed!_' He thought to himself as his feet pounded on the path. His heart beating in his ears and his breath coming in and out of his lungs at a fast pace as he continued to run through the jungle to the beach he could get away from the people of the island.

The dim light of the tropical sun fighting through the canopy above the blonde young man as he continued to run and smiled with a small sigh with a long raspy breath from his lungs as he saw the sandy white beach that held his most secret night time hangout.

The bright tropical light blinded John at first but soon his eyes adjusted to see the bright sands that made up the beach with one or two stones poking out to offer seats to those who did not wish to sit on the sand. He crossed over to one of the rocks and sat up on it, staring out into the ocean while getting his breath back from the long run from the main house to here.

'_I should really leave... I don't know why I even came back_' John thought as he continued to stare out into the ocean, pulling up one of his legs and rested his chin on his knee leaving one of his legs to swing along the side of the rock. '_Oh mom... what would you do_' He thought to himself closing his eyes feeling them burn behind his shut lids.

_**I'll be the rock you can build on,  
**__**Be there when you're old,**_

Gordon dumped the plastic ice cream container in front of Alan and offered him a spoon, which he took gratefully and silently before taking a spoonful of ice cream.

"Can all problems be solved by triple chocolate ice cream?" Alan asked as Gordon sat down next to him and helped himself to a spoonful.

"I don't know but it's worth a shot... it's a nice sugar boost" Gordon said before eating his spoonful of ice cream.

"Do you think that John will stay?" Alan asked stirring the ice cream in the container a little.

Gordon looked down at the table, '_What is more important to you? Your precious organisation or your family?_' John's voice echoed in his mind. "I think he won't... think that there will be no International Rescue until we are united as a family" He said helping himself to some more ice cream.

"I know Gordon, do you think Scott and Virgil feel the same way?" Alan asked before taking another mouthful of chocolate ice cream.

"If we know Virgil then yes, he would feel the same way... Scott probably knew that this would happen" Gordon answered playing with the slowly melting ice cream in the container, stirring it up.

Alan sighed and rose up from the table and dug around in the fridge, pulling out two cans of soda. "I know... though Thunderbird Five's automatic systems need some work if it is to stay offline for a few more months" He said putting a can on the table before popping his own can open.

"Guess we just have to wait and see" Gordon said with a deep sigh and opened his own can of soda before taking a long drink from it.

_**To have and to hold  
**__**When there's love inside**_

Jeff rested his chin on his hands going over what his two older sons had just told him, who both now stood in front of him waiting for his answer. "Ok boys I will make an announcement to the media telling them that International Rescue will be suspended until further notice due to heavy maintenance" He said opening his eyes and leaned back into the back of his chair.

"Great Dad, I'll start work on Thunderbird One later... but right now I need to go and find my brother!" Scott said with a smile and rushed off out of the main house, into the jungle.

Virgil watched his brother disappear to find where ever John had gone and hoped that Scott would be able to help their brother. "Everything will be ok son" Jeff's voice said from behind him.

"How can you believe that father? First they find him seriously sick up in that damn satellite so we all had to go to Seattle, then he looses his voice and shuts us all out except Scott... and now... well now we're seriously messed up" Virgil said clenching his hands into fists.

Jeff sighed from his place at his desk, "I know we are Virgil... that's why we are suspending the organisation," He said rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly with the need of coffee showing slightly.

"That won't be enough to reunite this family father, it never will" Virgil said before leaving the office apologising to his grandmother as he headed up to the bedrooms to change into his gym clothes.

"You have a big mess here Jeff Tracy" Rose Tracy said as she came into the room.

_**I swear I'll always be strong  
**__**Then there's a reason why**_

Scott walked through the jungle with his hands ready to catch his fall in case he found a loose tree root or to move a rogue branch that blocked the path, though his mind was wandering over the last few months. He thought over from when he found John up in Thunderbird five to discovering that he had meningitis, to the small break they had had together in his old cabin where Scott took his breaks or went fishing with one of his brothers.

Blinking from the sudden brightness after the shady atmosphere of the jungle canopy, Scott could hear the ocean and felt his feet sink slightly in the soft sand before the spots disappeared from his vision to find John sat up on a rock with the shade of some long trees that made part of the jungle resting overhead keeping John cool.

"John?" Scott called softly as he continued to walk towards John, he could see that John had his face hidden in his legs but had fallen asleep from what like exhaustion. '_Oh John..._' Scott thought to himself with a sigh.

John moaned in his sleep and moved his face away from Scott and pulled his legs up closer before sighing slightly. This caused Scott to walk around to see John face to face, he was startled to see dried tear marks down his cheeks and his eyes a little red, the obvious signs that John had been crying before falling asleep.

"John" Scott called softly shaking John's shoulder slightly to wake his brother up from his sleep.

John moaned as he woke up and coughed slightly as he woke up more to find Scott looking at him with worry and shock. "S-Scott?" He croaked with a slight cough.

"Better now?" Scott asked with a slight smile as John moved to make room on the rock for his brother, who continued to look out at the ocean and rubbed his eyes to clean the grit of tiredness and dried tears.

John nodded slightly, "A little... but I don't know if I can stay here Scott," He said as he continued to look out to the ocean, his hands clenching onto the knees of his jeans.

"Relax Johnny, Dad has put the rescue organisation on suspension so that we got time to just be ourselves and not flying off to different parts of the world" Scott said resting a hand on his younger brother's shoulder for comfort and support.

"Oh? I guess he'll blame that on me... like he did when Thunderbird One's engines got clogged up with ash" John said with a deep sigh, not showing any sign of moving away from looking out at the ocean.

"That wasn't your fault John and you know it! It was his for sending you the wrong co-ordinates, he couldn't read 'five's scanners if he programmed them himself!" Scott said as he jumped off the rock and stood in front of John, holding his hands tightly. "Listen to me bro, no matter what I'm still your brother first and nothing else! I know that the others need us too but I'm sure that they will back me up... grandma too all the way," He said looking straight into John's blue eyes.

"Scott..." John spoke softly, his blue eyes shinning with unshed tears before Scott moved his hand away to dig into his pocked of his trousers, before taking something that John couldn't make out then pressed into his own hand.

"Take her, I can always use one of the other jets for a while" Scott said as he moved his hand away revealing the keys to his own private jet knowing that John didn't have one of his own, as he was hardly planet side for more than a week at the most.

"I can't Scott; I know how precious Lauren is to you!" John said stunned that Scott had just handed his personal jet to him.

"Don't worry Johnny, I know that you will take good care of her, just go and pack what you think you will need... she's all fuelled up and ready to go!" Scott's voice was quivering slightly but his eyes shone determination.

"I will Scott... thank you" John said before hugging his brother and rushed off into the jungle.

_**I'll prove to you we belong  
**__**I'll be the wall that protects you **_

Virgil pounded at the punching bag that hung from the ceiling of the gym; his hands wrapped up and covered in chalk to protect them from the rough leather that made up the punching bag that he was currently pounding.

Gordon and Alan walked into the gym to work out themselves only to find Virgil pounding away at the bag with pure emotion written all over his face and pulsing in his flexing muscles as he hit the punching bag with every hard punch.

"Um... think we better go for a swim and leave him here instead of trying to work around him like this" Gordon said pushing Alan back of out of the gym.

"But we've worked out along side Virgil before" Alan protested as the door closed behind Gordon.

"Yeah but not like this Al, trust me when I say that things can get ugly when he gets disturbed while on a temper control mission" Gordon replied speaking from experience.

"Ok Gordo, if you're sure..." Alan said with a sigh and led the way back to their rooms to change into their swimming gear instead of their gym clothes.

_**From the wind and the rain  
**__**From the hurt and pain**_

Sighing deeply as he did up his shirt, the young man sighed and looked across to his desk, looking at all of his scribbled notes and drawings and diagrams but most of his attention focused on the small photos that were framed and covered the small shelf above his desk.

Crossing over to them as he continued to slowly button up his shirt, a small smile lit his tired face as he looked over carefully at each picture but the smile faded as he continued to look at the different pictures until it had faded all together.

The pictures showed the Tracy family over the years, the first picture just showed them as a happy family with all happy smiles and hugs before the next showed the family with smiles but these smiles seemed forced and didn't reach the eyes as it did in the previous photo, this was a time after their mother's death. The young man could tell this because of the signs of tiredness showed in their father's eyes as well as Scott and John's teenage faces.

The third picture showed them when they reunited for their father's revealing of the organisation, looking at the photo the young man could see uncertainty in John's eyes and slight concern in the others. The last and final picture showed the five Tracy sons finally reunited to start the organisation for the very first time and only now could he see the tough masks written on their faces.

Scott sighed as he moved to sit at the desk and sun his head in his hands with his elbows on the edge of it. '_It's been two months… the birds are almost ready to go again but can we do it without John?_' He thought to himself, as he looked down at the plans of Thunderbird One's main body.

A knock disturbed Scott out of his thoughts, "Come in" He called with a tired sigh.

The door opened to reveal Virgil managing two cups of coffee, "Coffee?" He asked with a slight smile as he entered Scott's room, closing the door behind him.

"Could go for something stronger but this will do, thanks Virg" Scott said with a grateful smile and took one of the cups off his younger brother.

"Told Dad about the bug we found in five's main system, he's going to get Brains to look into it once he's finished with four's checks" Virgil said as he sat down on Scott's bed with a sigh before sipping on some of his coffee. "It's not the same is it" He said quietly, looking into his coffee.

Scott looked up from looking into his own coffee smelling the hot caffeine drink allowing it to help him wake up from the affects of being up in space working along side Virgil and Alan to adjust Thunderbird Five's automated systems Jeff wasn't letting anyone else up on the satellite alone.

"It's not… but we got to carry on saving lives as John will be back" Scott said before sipping his own coffee, "Where is Gordon and Alan?" He asked clearing his desk up a little to make room for his cup.

"Hitting the kitchen, where they always are" Virgil said shaking his head slightly.

"Yeah that's true, though I have no idea how you guys can eat those mountains that you call sandwiches" Scott said with a small smile, turning to face Virgil slightly.

"Funny, I caught you eating someone's cookie dough stash…" Virgil replied with a grin and pulled a battered envelope out of his pocket, "He left this for me… saying that he wants me to look after Gordon and Alan" He said handing the letter to Scott for him to read.

_**Let's make it all for one and its all for love,  
**__**Let the one you hold be the one you want, **_

_Virgil,_

_You probably know that I would leave the island like this to find myself and to give you guys' time to get back together. I don't know how long this will take but I do know that you will look after the family while I'm away, try and get everyone back together as this has divided us all but most of all take care of yourself and keep on filling that house with your beautiful music and art work. _

_I'm sorry that we haven't spent much time together like I have with Scott but because of the important job I had up there, I never got time to be anything but the astronaut that I was in NASA but unlike with NASA I haven't been able to live like any of you guys. _

_No Virgil, I'm not blaming you… any of you, it's my fault for not standing up to father sooner but I guess that I am free now to find the life I had had before we started the organisation. _

_Just take care of yourselves and I will see you again one day soon. _

_John_

_**The one you need  
**__**Cause when it's all for one it's one for all**_

Gordon sighed from his place at the balcony that overlooked the pool; he looked out of the view below to the distant ocean leaving his half eaten sandwich on the table while he got lost in his thoughts.

"Gordon, is everything ok?" Tin-Tin asked softly coming onto the balcony and heard the redheaded young man sigh again before she joined his side.

"Hey Tin-Tin, yeah I'm fine… just thinking that's all" Gordon said not taking his eyes away from the view of the distant ocean.

"Want to talk about it? Having difficulty in keeping up with Brains and Alan down in the laboratory" Tin-Tin asked with a slight smile resting her hands on the rail of the balcony.

"Where to start Tin… everything but our family is coming back together, Scott and Virgil are there for us and so is Grandma but its still not right" Gordon said as he leaned against the rail a little harder.

"That John is away from the island?" Tin-Tin suggested joining Gordon, looking out at the distant ocean.

"Yeah it is, but he told me not to worry and that it isn't my fault or any of our faults that this had happened" Gordon said as he turned around and put his back to the view, carefully resting his back on the rail.

Tin-Tin looked at Gordon, remembering the day when John had returned but then a few hours later left again but this time by himself. It had upset everybody while Jeff had ordered Scott to bring him back but the eldest son refused and told his father exactly what had happened on the beach.

That had been two months ago now and they were getting ready to bring the organisation back online, knowing that John wherever he may be would want.

"Did he tell you this? When did you talk to him?" Tin-Tin asked not taking her eyes off him.

"Didn't talk exactly… I found this in my room, I know he will come back Tin-Tin!" Gordon said as he dug out a battered letter and handed it over to Tin-Tin, who opened it and read its contents.

_**When there's someone that should know  
**__**Then just let your feelings show**_

_Gordon, _

_Don't kick yourself as this isn't your fault that this had happened the way it did… this was due to happen maybe one day… just glad that it happened when it did I guess._

_Thank you for joining in with defending our family against our business mad father, just don't go too hard on him with the pranks ok bro?_

_As with your brothers, just give them time and they will need time but they will be there to talk to you if you ask. I am sure that they will but as for your practical jokes with Alan, just take it easy as everyone will be frail for a while and that will include him. _

_Just be more open about your emotions and feelings Gordon, I know its not easy being a Tracy and all but that is what got us into this mess in the first place… take care of everyone especially Grandma and I will see you soon! _

_Keep on smiling! _

_John_

_**And make it all for one and all for love  
**__**When it's love you make**_

_Hey Al, _

_To start with… this wasn't your fault ok? I know that you love Thunderbird Five just as I do… well the way I use to. Don't correct me but I just need time to find myself again, to find the old cheerful laughable John Tracy that I once was!_

_I guess that with me gone from the island and the organisation that you have two responsibilities now, Thunderbirds Three and five… just do me a favour Al and take care of her. _

_As for my leaving the island, it wasn't anyone's fault… I just felt that I didn't belong there, that I can't do the job that we now have but I know that you will carry on saving peoples lives because that is what you all are good at. _

_If you need to talk to anyone then just ask your brothers, as they will be feeling the same way… Grandma and Tin-Tin too. _

_But know this Alan, I will come back soon! _

_John_

_**I'll be the fire in your night  
**__**Then its love you take**_

Alan looked up from the piece of paper that John had written his letter on before hearing Brains coming back into the laboratory after going off to retrieve some books from the locked up cupboard in the library, these were the books that stored all of the programming for Thunderbird Five.

"O-ok Alan, I-I be-believe I-I-I re-re-got all o-of the books w-we need" Brains said as he placed the books down on the large desk.

"Great Brains, I just checked the current systems and aside from that bug Virgil found… everything seems fine," Alan said with a slight smile.

"O-ok Alan, w-we sh-should g-g-get to work" Brains said as he looked through one of the books of the main systems of Thunderbird Five.

"Right Brains" Alan said with an inward sigh and logged back onto the computer to go through the code manually while Brains reviewed the original coding in the books.

'_Wish you were here John, we all miss you_' Alan thought to himself before starting to read code that he had grown accustomed to in the last two months.

_**I will defend, I will fight  
**__**I'll be there when you need me**_

"So is that what you believe boys? I have to agree with you and if I had any say in what you boys did then I would close down the organisation long enough for you all to have a long and relaxing holiday away from the island" Rose said from her place in the kitchen and held up her free hand to silence her grandsons.

"However you all are too stubborn for your own good and realise how important the rescue organisation is, as for John I know that he will come back once he has had time to think and find the spark that was inside him" She carried on as she continued to cook.

"What do you mean Grandma? What spark?" Virgil asked from where he had been asked to peel potatoes for one of the many things the Tracy patriarch was cooking in the large kitchen.

"Yes Grandma, what do you mean?" Scott asked from where he had been bared from the kitchen, so he leaned in the doorway to listen to the conversation from there.

"The spark of inspiration and passion, it is in everyone including your stubborn father. It helps me cook, Virgil paint, Gordon and Alan plot pranks and you, Scott fly" Rose explained facing her eldest son before turning back to the cooker.

"And use to help John work in space… but all that time up there killed him emotionally and mentally, it wore him out making him prone to illness" She carried on as she checked the pies in the oven.

Scott and Virgil shared looks and sighed, "We know Grandma, we both have faith that he will come back with that spark" Virgil said as he finished peeling the potatoes.

Rose smiled at her two eldest grandsons, "I know he will, so we better get planning for his return party" She said with a glint in her eyes.

_**When honour's at stake  
**__**This is the vow I will make**_

Jeff sighed as he signed off another form that was simply invoices for the new parts of the thunderbird machines coming from different companies across the world to their pick up points, though usually he left the paperwork to Tin-Tin when it came to the rescue machines, Jeff just needed something to do.

There was a small pile of paperwork in a tray on the corner of the desk slowly filling up with different progress reports, news updates on ongoing projects and just odd diagrams or ideas that had made it though to be sent to the head of the industry to see if him or his sons could use it or approve of it.

Amongst the paperwork that was scattered across the desk was a bright orange envelope with a familiar handwriting on it labelled to Jeff, ever since that he discovered it Jeff had been thinking about what it could contain or what his missing son had put in the letter what he could not see here.

"I brought you some more coffee Mr. Tracy" Kyrano said quietly, coming into the large area balancing a tray carefully with years of practice.

"Thank you Kyrano, I will finish these then take a break, maybe walk around for a while and stretch my legs" Jeff said with a tired smile as he looked up at the manservant/ close friend of the family.

"Sounds like that might be a good idea Mr. Tracy" Kyrano said as he helped Jeff clean up his desk to make some room to save the paperwork from the coffee.

Jeff gave Kyrano help to clear the desk a little better, while doing so the orange envelope got knocked off and landed on the floor. "Thanks Kyrano" He said before sitting back down on his chair and cleaned his glasses quickly, before going back to work.

Kyrano took the tray leaving the coffee on the desk as he moved back away something caught his eye and bent down to retrieve it, "Mr. Tracy you dropped this, you should read it" He told his friend putting the letter on the desk and left the room.

Jeff watched Kyrano leave before looking down at the letter that was lying on his desk, he knew that it was a letter from John but Jeff had been trying to find the courage to open the envelope and read the letter. '_It's been two months, yet what am I afraid of?'_ He thought to himself as he picked the letter up and turned it around to open it but hesitated.

"You need to read it son, or should I come over there and read it for you" A stern voice broke his change of thoughts making Jeff look up.

"Mother, thought you were in the kitchen with the boys" Jeff said dropping the letter like it was about to burst into flames, it landed with a slight tap on the desk.

Rose rolled her eyes and crossed the gap over to Jeff's desk and swiped the letter off it, "You need to read this and see how your son really feels about you! John had written to all of us but Kyrano and I are keeping ours quiet, and trying our best to follow his wishes!" She said brandishing the letter like a sword at Jeff.

Jeff sighed deeply and held his hand out for the letter, "Ok mum hand it over," He said with a small smile.

Rose opened the envelope and handed the letter to Jeff, resting one hand on her hip while the other held the envelope. She watched her son open the letter before he began to read it.

_**That it's all for one and all for love  
**__**Let the one be the one you want**_

_Dad… this is the hardest thing I have had to write in a long time, so I guess here it goes. _

_You promised when we lived all together back when Scott and I were in high school that what you were doing would just make our family stronger and better off. Well you got part of that right… what you call family is stronger but I feel that I'm not of it, just another employee of your growing empire! _

_You're just an old man struggling along thinking that what you are doing is not only saving lives but helping our family become stronger but you are not seeing the true family! The masks that are worn when they are around you, they are trying to be tough but if only you looked past your desk you would have seen it. _

_Now though father, you have lost a son… I haven't abandoned the island, the father or the organisation! It's just that I feel that I don't belong among you… but that is only because the amount of time I spent away from Thunderbird Five compared to Alan. _

_No, don't scowl Dad! I should have said something to you, explained that I was unhappy with the way I was living my life. I didn't and that is why this happened, I will be fine by myself… I have managed before when I was ho… up on the satellite!_

_Just so you know Dad, I've hated the way I lived and I hated the way you treated me! The way that you only call if something is wrong or if things are quiet for you, the only people that call just to talk are my older brothers. The ones that think about me all alone up on the geostationary satellite while they go out on rescues or just out on mainland having a break away._

_Well I might come back one day, just hope that on that day you will treat me like your son and not a member of International Rescue!_

_Until that day, good bye!_

_John_

_**The one you need  
**__**Cause when it's all for one its one for all**_

Scott and Virgil worked in an oddly comforting silence as they navigated around the large kitchen, following their grandma's instructions carefully so not to upset the old lady, as the last thing for them would be to upset her.

"He has changed hasn't he?" Scott asked quietly as he turned one of the rings down, breaking the comforting silence for a tense and awkward atmosphere.

Virgil made them both some of one of Kieran's calming teas and nodded over to the breakfast bar. "He has… remember seeing him on some leave, came to visit me for the day as he was in town on some convention" He said in the same quiet voice as he sat on one of the hardly used stools and sipped on the tea with a grateful sigh.

Scott joined his brother closest to age and sipped at the tea with his eyes closed before putting the cup down with a slight tap. "Just glad it but I'm not the only one to see a difference, I struggle to see the old John that we grew up with but at the cabin… even though he was still recovering from that illness, it was nice seeing him like that" He said with a soft smile and breathed in deeply taking in the aromas of the cooking food near them and the cup of herbal tea in front of him.

"He's there Scott, I've seen him too but what do you think is going to happen when he come back?" Virgil asked with wrong shining in his eyes along with uncertainty.

Scott sighed, "Honestly Virg, I really don't know…I'm guessing that John wrote those letters to all of you including Dad. So I guess we just have to wait and see to what happens when he returns" He said before sipping on his tea again while hoping that everything will be alright once John does return.

_**When there's someone that should know  
**__**Then just let your feelings show**_

Finished unpacking his suitcase into the chest of drawers organised to the way he liked it, John looked around the hotel room that he would spend the next two weeks in. At least when he wasn't out either exploring or in meetings with some important people that he had been trading emails with for the last two months.

For the last two months since he had left Tracy Island with the jet parked in the airport close by and stayed at one of his old hideaways up near the Swiss Alps. During his time at NASA John had always booked time off to go to Europe for a week or two away up in his cabin, just to get away from the hustle and bustle of the space centres.

It was at that cabin that John had wrote two of his previous books, with nothing but forests and mountains for miles with a nice little village about half an hour walk away it was perfect for him.

But now John found himself in the United Kingdom in one of the more comfortable hotels while he cleared up some more paperwork before his latest book could be published. Sighing with relief as he sat down on the bed John looked around the hotel room view from where he sat.

He could make out the large lounge area including a small entertainment centre and a large couch with too many cushions for John's taste. The bathroom was accessible from the bedroom while there was a small kitchen with tea and coffee making facilities.

'_Shower then something to eat_' He thought with a slight groan as he got up onto his tired feet, after a long and quiet flight. Throwing his now empty suitcase down onto the floor away from his bed, John dug out some clean clothes and laid them out on the bed before going off into the bathroom.

_**And make it all for one and one for love  
**__**Don't lay our love to rest**_

Jeff read over the letter that was in his hands from his middle son, he had gone over the hurtful but true words in the letter trying to understand why they were written and not spoken out-loud by the writer.

"Now you can see the true side of your middle born son, I hope that you will regain his trust and the fatherly love that John needs so much" Rose spoke up breaking Jeff's small shocked trance.

"I…I have been a fool mother, I was so caught up in my own pain that I didn't realise that the boys were suffering that badly… shouldn't have locked myself away but it was so hard after father died and had to move away from the ranch" Jeff said with a deep sigh putting the letter down.

"Having to keep the boys in school while my barriers took off and helping you settle down into your new home, thought it was easier when Scott took my place… keeping his older brother in line when I couldn't" He carried on pushing the palms of his hands into his eyes.

"Scott sacrificed a lot of his life to help raise his brothers, all of them learned from Scott on how to hide their true emotions but only a few of us could see though those tough masks" Rose said with a soft smile, glad that Jeff was breaking out of his shell even though it was a little.

"I should have been one of them but I just thought that they were just being their normal selves, not hiding the fact that something bothered them or that they were bottling up so much emotion… like John" Jeff said looking up at his mother who had not moved from the front of his desk.

"Are you going to go out there and talk to your sons? They all are troubled and lost faith in their father" Rose said nodding her head gently over to the direction of the kitchen.

Jeff rose up from his desk laying his hands out flat on it before looking out at the portrays his eyes stopping on John's a little longer. "I should, I got to get the family back that I once knew before sorting out the other parts of our life" He said with a soft sigh and moved around the desk before heading off into the kitchen.

'_Thanks John, now please come home safely honey' _Rose thought to her third grandson before heading off to her room in the guest wing.

_**Cause we could stand up to your test  
**__**We got everything and more than we have planned**_

John sat at one of the small Starbucks coffee shops with a large cup of his favourite coffee sat in front of him, his book open but he was barely paying attention to it.

"It is a shame isn't it? Two months without one sighting of those Thunderbird machines" A young woman spoke to her friend on a table nearby.

"They did say that they needed to do some maintenance on those beautiful machines of theirs" Another young woman answered her friend back.

"So there's no telling to how long it will be before they're back, that is a real shame" The first young woman spoke up again.

John inwardly sighed and cleaned up his things before taking his cup of coffee away with him, heading out to the large park nearby leaving the young woman to gossip.

'_Do I really want to go back? I could have easily settled down at the cabin and worked at the observatory_' John thought to himself while sipping at his coffee as he continued to head towards the park.

"Hey John! Hold up!" A voice called running up to catch up with the young man.

John spun around being careful not to spill his coffee to see his friend and connection to the publishing company, Orion, Fred Jones. "Hey, thought we weren't meeting till this afternoon" He said with a smile once Fred had caught up.

"Yeah well I was just wandering around the city and saw you crossing the street" Fred explained as he caught his breath from the run. "But it's been a long time, come on! Let's go to this small sandwich bar and catch up" He said in his normal energetic way that John quickly remembered.

"Sure Fred, lead the way" John said before finishing his coffee quickly and dumped the cup in the rubbish nearby.

_**More than the rivers that run the land  
**__**We've got it all in our hands**_

The last five days had been nothing but meeting after meeting for John, leaving him worn out and hungry in the evening which was keeping him too busy to think of his old life except when it was time to have a shower or before he fell asleep.

Now though he was getting ready for the press meeting that would be the official launch of his book, then after it then Frank mentioned a book tour but as always John turned it down.

'_Just the first of many…' _John thought to himself as he did his suit up properly including a tie before studying himself in the mirror.

Aside from the slightest signs of tiredness and nervousness, John looked almost back to the way he looked before falling victim to the illness. Though occasionally his ribs would complain when stiff and tender, but John shrugged it off to how his muscles were slowly healing.

"John you ready? The press is waiting!" Frank called through the closed door to his suite; he had become John's publicist for the book launch.

"Yeah almost ready! Just give me five more minutes" John called back as he moved over to retrieve his tie from the back of the chair before moving back to in front of the mirror.

"Ok! I'll wait by the elevator for you" Frank called back.

John shook his head slightly in response before focusing on his tie, his thoughts half wondering what was going on at the island that he thought he could call home.

'_Sorry everyone… but just try and live the life you normally live" _John thought to himself realising that the world needed the Thunderbirds just as his brothers need the organisation.

_Now that its all for one and all for love_

**_It's all for love _**

Fred sighed and loosened his tie as the heat grew in the elevator, "Why haven't they got the power back yet?" He asked John, who had just put the phone back on the hook.

"The phone line is dead; the backup power must have gone down too…" John said as he searched his pockets in his suit. "But it shouldn't be too hard to get that back online" He carried on as he pulled out his Swiss pocket-knife.

Fred watched his friend with confusion, "Um ok John… what are you going to do with that?" He asked with slight concern in his voice. "After all we have only been in here for twenty minutes" Fred said again as John opened up the knife.

"Relax Fred, I'm just going to get the power back online so we can get out of here" John said as he bent down near the door and undid the panel that covered the main controls of the elevator.

"Oh… ok, best thing to be trapped in here with you then John" Fred said with a smile and sat down with his back against the side of the elevator.

John glanced back at Fred before going back to work on getting the power restored to the elevator so they could get the real show on the road, the first press release of many.

John felt that he was on a rescue even though it was only Frank and himself in there; he felt that he had missed this but a loud part of him was screaming that if he did return then it wouldn't be to the danger zones but to the satellite.

Rubbing his forehead with a soft sigh, he focused on the task at hand or to the questions that John would be asked at the press conference once they arrived.

_Let the one you hold be the one you want_

**_The one you need _**

Laughing along with the press John took a sip of the water provided to calm himself down before answering the question from the reporter of the astronaut journal. "Actually Neil, I've been so caught up in the family business that I haven't had any time to myself including that" He answered with a slight blush to his cheeks.

Scanning the crowds John froze in seeing an all too familiar face standing near the back of the large conference hall. "John! John!" The voices of the press called for his attention.

Shaking his head slightly John sipped at the water once again before pointing at another reporter to continue the press conference.

_Cause when its all for one its one for all_

**_It's one for all _**

Climbing back up the stairs now that the elevators were out of order, John sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair roughly as he went over the press conference.

"Some of those questions were personal son," The voice said from behind him making John sigh deeply.

"What I said to them was the truth father and that these past few months have been a breath of freedom away from the family business!" John answered his father as he continued to climb up the stairs to the floor where his room was located.

"I'm sorry son, isn't there somewhere we can talk?" Jeff asked as he kept up with his middle born son.

John stopped climbing up the stairs and sighed, his shoulders dropped before turning to his side, "I know a place... the hotel is going to be busy for a while" He said searching his pockets and found his card to get his rented car from the car park.

"I can gather that much John" Jeff said leading the way back down the stairs unaware of the tone he had used made John flinch before following his father.

John followed his father in silence keeping a small distance back but stopped forward once they reached the entrance to see that one or two of the reporters were hanging around in the main lobby.

"Just ignore them father, they've been told to leave me alone if they see me otherwise they won't get their free meal" John told his dad as they crossed the lobby and headed to the main doors. "Thanks Kyle" He said with a smile as the doors were held open for them by one of the hotel workers.

"Welcome Mr Tracy, would you need your car this afternoon" Kyle asked closing the door once they were all out on the front steps of the hotel.

"Please Kyle" John replied and gave Kyle his card who nodded and ran off to fetch the rented car for John.

"He'll be back in a few minutes…" John muttered loud enough for Jeff to hear.

Jeff looked at John and inwardly sighed seeing how closed up and how his shoulders were tense. '_I have to be careful to how to talk to him, thinks I'm here for the wrong reasons_' He thought to himself.

_When there's someone that should know_

**_Then just let your feelings show _**

"This is a nice place John, I will have to remember this the next time I'm away from the island" Jeff spoke up with a soft smile breaking the silence since the ordering of the drinks.

"I guess so… so what is it that you want to talk about?" John asked playing with the napkin not looking at his father.

The restaurant was themed to be privately used for small groups or meetings, the areas were separated by the large pots filled with tropical plants with soft lighting and speakers hidden amongst them. The foliage made the large restaurant seem smaller and more posh feeling making Jeff feel uncomfortable and reminded him of the island yet John looked comfortable even if he did look closed up and hunched at the moment.

"Your letter… its contents was surprising to say at the least" Jeff said unsure how to speak of it and the talk he had had with Rose then with the others before hearing of the press conference launching John's new book.

John shrugged and continued to play with the napkin practising his origami. "I wrote a lot recently" He spoke up as the drinks arrived and he thanked the waitress with a natural smile before the waitress left with a slight bounce in her step.

"I mean that there was some points in there that I have been blind to for too long… what I mean is that I'm sorry" Jeff said looking down into his clear drink.

John looked up from where he cupped his sparkling mineral water, he did not speak but waited for Jeff to continue feeling that there was more to come.

"I have been afraid of loosing you, any of you that I pushed you farther and farther away so that it felt that I've abandoned you as a father" Jeff continued and took a sip of his own mineral water.

"When it started I was saw that you weren't entirely happy about joining the organisation but you did anyway even though you feared upsetting me by being stubborn and chose to stay at NASA. Don't forget this John but I've never been more proud of you, as a son most of all and I know that she is smiling on you from above so please think about coming back to the family" He continued looking into John's blue eyes.

John looked down into his drink and sighed deeply, "Dad… I will come back to the family when I'm ready but right now I'm not…" He said before sipping at his drink. "As for the organisation… I don't know if I will be ready to go back to the way things were" John said looking at his father showing signs of tiredness and yet the Tracy stubbornness in his blue eyes.

"We have changed son and the organisation will change along with it" Jeff said with a soft sigh.

"I will go back… when I'm ready" John said with a final tone in his voice, finished his drink and left the table paying for the drinks as he left.

Jeff sighed and looked down into the drink while wondering when he would see his middle born son again.

_When there's someone that you want_

**_When there's someone that you need _**

'_International Rescue is back! Saving people across the world_' the newspaper heading read while showed a picture of the saved villagers from an earthquake in China.

The blond man smiled and folded the newspaper back up before making a start on his breakfast as it arrived in the new hotel he was staying at.

It had been two weeks since Jeff talked to John in London, England but right now John found himself in Los Angeles getting ready for another press conference before travelling across to the state of Nevada and the flashy city of Las Vegas for a convention that had caught John's personal attention.

He thought of going back to the island and back amongst the people who he now knew that loved him for who he is not for John's skill in the communication satellite. Though other parts of him keep asking in a loud voice, _what other reasons aside homesickness and the feel of abandonment do you need? Are you ready for that life once again? _

_'No, I'm not but I will be one day soon' _John thought to himself and tucked into his breakfast.

_Let's make it all, all for one and all for love_


	6. Chapter 6

**Tears  
Chapter Six**

A light splashing could be heard as the young man walked through the tropical jungle towards the white sandy beach, one of many that were scattered around the island. Blinking slightly from the brightness as he stepped on to the beach to find that the splashing noise was one of the brothers throwing pebbles into the surf.

"Hey bro, thought would find you here" He spoke up as he climbed up onto the rock his brother was sat on the tide went out.

Gordon turned slightly to find his youngest brother climbing up to sit beside him, "Hey Al got kicked off the computer huh?" He asked as he turned back and continued to throw pebbles into the surf.

"Yeah needed a break away and Brains needed to reboot the system to check his work on the new adjustments for the machines" Alan said with a sigh watching Gordon throw the pebbles.

"I thought that the updates were done already and the adjustments to Thunderbird Four are working like charm" Gordon said not looking away from the ocean.

"Thunderbird Three is the same though; One and Two systems still need some work but..." Alan broke away and joined Gordon in throwing pebbles into the surf of the ocean.

"Thunderbird Five... I know that it's not made to be run by computers but what can we do? Dad won't let any of us go up there" Gordon said remembering the talk all had after their first rescue since their two month break.

"That was two months ago Gordo... I've spent a lot of time with Brains and with Scott, and its not just going to be the same when he does come back" Alan said with a sigh.

"It won't but the change will do us good" Gordon said as their watches beeped for attention.

Together they sighed deeply, as their last two pebbles plopped into the ocean.

"Let's head back and find out the situation" Alan said with a slight groan as he got to his feet and jumped off the rock.

"Right let's get going" Gordon said copying his brother before leading the way back through the jungle to the main complex.

* * *

Taking a long drink from the bottle, the young man sighed before putting it back down on the desk half listening to the radio in the background. It played the random requests from its listeners while occasionally the lone listener tapped his pen along with the music.

Sighing deeply as he shifted through the various papers that contained letters, printed calculations and star charts while close by was a laptop containing the beginning of a new book.

John Tracy groaned and stretched as he leaned back in his chair; he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. Putting them on the desk, he got up and retrieved his beer bottle and turned the radio up as he entered the kitchen.

Throwing the glass beer bottle into the recycle bin, he opened the fridge and dug out another before looking through to see what he could put together to eat for supper that night.

It had been six months since he left Tracy Island and his family, he could still remember his family's faces when John had lost his temper and told them all how he truly felt about being the operator of the rescue organisation's space station, and not a member of the family he once claimed to be.

He wiped his eyes as they started to tear up from the onions he had started cutting up, '_All because of some stupid illness...'_ John thought to himself as he tipped the chopped onion into the pan.

"Or maybe..." He muttered to himself, thinking over what had happened since before he went on the rescue during his leave. That same leave that triggered all these unseen events, resulting in buried emotions rising up and being released upon his family.

"Something smells great John! Thought that it was my turn to cook tonight" A familiar voice brought him out of his musing.

"Well you took your time coming back, so I started ahead without you" John replied with a smile as he continued to throw random things into the pan.

"Look at the state of the place, how can you work in such a disorganised chaos?" The voice asked again, sounding a little drowned out as a loud song blared out on the radio.

John reached over and turned the radio down, "Oh leave the desk along Liam, its organised... just not the way you like it" He replied moving away and offered his friend a beer. "What are you doing back so early?"

"The telescope has broken down again, got to order some new parts and then there's Joy calling again... she's asking about that deadline for those readings again" Liam replied coming into the kitchen and accepted the beer, peering into the saucepan.

"Its just mince, onion, mushroom and tomatoes once they've been cut up" John said with a shrug, a grin on his face. "You're not running away from Joy again are you?" He asked as he dug around the fridge, before closing it and searched the cupboard.

"She's not my type Johnny, she's more of yours" Liam answered back opening his bottle then took a drink from it, leaning back against the side of the counter watching his friend cook.

"Not mine either, get enough trouble just by being a Tracy... but having a girlfriend too" John shook his head with a sigh, getting out the tin of chopped tomatoes.

"We'll just have to call for a new part for the telescope before we can get to work tomorrow, unless you've got something else planned" Liam replied brushing his brown hair back away from his eyes.

John looked over his shoulder, "Just a conference call with Fred tomorrow, he wants to talk deadlines for my new book... as it wasn't enough for that the latest one is helping with the observatory's financial records but he wants another" John said with a sigh, as he opened up the tin, tipping them into the saucepan.

"Should relax a little John, isn't there that convention soon?" Liam asked before drinking some of his beer.

"I'm guessing that you want to come" John replied with a grin looking over his shoulder and looked at his friend, today he was wearing black rough jeans and a white t-shirt with the symbol for a old music band, Blue Oyster Cult. His brown hair was spiked up while his green eyes shone out full of energy and a good sense of humour.

"Of course, to meet some of the original astronauts... asides yourself of course would be a great dream! And to tell more about the work that we're doing up here in the middle of the Swiss Alps" Liam said jumping up to sit on the counter, his scruffy trainers brushing the floor.

"It would be all talks and so much hustle and bustle that you'll feel like being inside a pinball machine, but then again I could use the company" John said with a smile, "And to get away from my publisher for a while then I guess I better get the plane ready as it is this weekend, just what about the observatory?"

"We'll just lock her down and she'll be fine for two days, I'll call Joey and tell him to pick the slack up while we're gone... he's always moaning that we're taking the shine away from him" Liam replied with a shrug.

John laughed, "OK you win, just find the spaghetti while I find something to give this a little more kick... no alcohol just that sauce your mom gave us in her last trip up" He replied before starting the search of the cupboards once more, stretching up to his full height his shirt rising up his back a little.

Liam felt his heart rate flutter and his eyes go wide at this new view of his colleague before shaking it off, "Um right! The spaghetti" He copied his friend and searched the cupboard for the dried pasta.

* * *

"This is Private Jet 4439 requesting permission to land" John said calmly into the radio, the weather beating against the jet making the controls shake in his hands.

"This is New York, we read you... you have permission to land on runway nine and taxi to hanger five" Control Tower replied, sighs of relief sounded inside the craft.

"Thank you control, landing now" John said and started landing approach to the city's airport.

"Next time I agree to go to New York with you, make sure we check the weather before we go" Liam replied, his hands tight on the arms of his seat.

John smiled, "I've had worse, but we'll be down soon then it's off to a luxury hotel that would make our cabin look like a old shack" He said as he lowered the wheels and gently touched down feeling the wind bash the jet once more as he focused on getting the jet to the hanger safely.

"Hot shower, good food already cooked for us and comfy beds made out of some feather-like material... I can't wait" Liam replied as the jet bumped down on the ground.

* * *

"Please remind me why I let you drag me off to this?" The oldest brother wined as he walked close behind his younger brother.

"Because you needed time away from the island, and Dad wouldn't let me go on my own... just surprised that Dad let us go at all" The younger brother replied.

"But this isn't our scene at all; I prefer something that isn't just all about aerospace technology... I know that Dad is talking to some of the firms here today about joining forces with him but still" The oldest brother said as he dodged out of the way of a heavy long box being carried under a guy's arm.

"Well it is New York; you could have gone elsewhere Scott... I'll be fine here" The younger brother replied stopping and looked around. "Besides isn't that something interesting?" He asked pointing over at a display.

Scott Tracy looked over with a groan, "What is it?" He asked and read the display, his eye brows rising with interest. "OK you got me Virg"

Virgil Tracy grinned and looked through the programme book, "Well there's a talk that might be some interest in a few minutes in room two" He said glancing at his watch then back at the book.

"What is it about?" Scott asked as they got to a clearer area away from the main bustle of business people, tourists and a mixture of other people.

"Aerospace technology and space exploration, guess that means that it's for some people that love outer space" Virgil replied and sighed a little, the smile disappearing from his eyes.

Scott sighed; "Well it might prove useful, let's give it a shot" He said and let his brother lead the way.

* * *

"That's all very well and good but with the growing technology, isn't it best for the other observatories to receive the much needed grants and upgrades... with the planet changing like it is with global warming being a growing risk, it would put observatories such as our own in grave danger" John replied to the spokesperson.

"Then what about the exploration? Isn't finding out how the universe works by being up there better than observing it from this planet" The spokesperson asked with a smile.

John inwardly sighed, "Isn't that what the space station would be for? Once you have the required research material from the work of the observatories, or how the space ports would deal with the information that would come across from the orbital space stations... wasn't it just the other month that the people at NASA lost five computers due to overload?" John replied earning mutters through the room from other people sat around them.

The spokesperson fell silent and looked at his colleagues, "Very well, you have made your point Mr..." He stopped and waited for the name to be said.

"It's Tracy" John replied and sighed hearing the gasps of surprise followed quickly by hundreds of eyes staring at him.

"Mr Tracy, I can see how the observatories do play a vital role and our company will work together with Tracy Industries to make sure that all of the world's observatories will receive the required updates for this new technology" The spokesperson spoke up.

"Thank you, I have no more questions" John replied and sat back down next to Liam, who looked surprised and had his mouth open before closing it.

"Nice work" Liam muttered as someone else started asking questions.

"Just that there are so many holes in that system, that it's a surprise that it got approved through their sponsors... I could design a better satellite than theirs" John whispered back before looking around the room, his eyes wide in surprise.

"But for now, let's get out of here... need a drink, there's nothing else we can learn here than we already have just by doing our own work" He added and rose up from the seat, leading the way out of the conference.

Liam followed, "Then we'll have to pick that part up right?" He asked as they got outside, finding that it had stopped raining since they first entered the building first thing this morning.

John breathed in the chilled air, promising more rain later that day. "Yeah, shopping for the new part and the essentials" He replied with a smile, doing his jacket up and led the way back towards their hotel.

"J-John stop" A familiar voice called loudly getting their attention.

Liam looked back and then at his friend, "Just ignore them, they probably want to ask more questions" John's gruff reply came.

"Please John, can you just talk to us" Another voice called.

John sighed and stopped, turning around to face his two older brothers. "OK but not here... the Starbucks just around the corner will do" He said and led the way with Liam in tow.

"Aren't they your brothers?" Liam asked in a hushed voice.

"They are, but I don't know why they're here... you're the only one I've told why I left home" John replied softly as they walked around the corner finding the coffee shop.

* * *

"We're not asking you to come back John, we're just happy to see you" Virgil said softly as Scott came back with the coffees.

"I guess you are, we're just here for the conference and then back to the observatory... well once we've got the shopping done and picked up the new part for the telescope" John replied accepting the coffee.

Scott sat down next to Virgil, "Who's your friend?" He asked before sipping his own coffee.

"Liam, Liam O'Keeffe... I work with your brother, if it wasn't for his help then the observatory would have gone down years ago... we are starting up the organisation that will help save observatories across the world" Liam introduced.

"Space observatories" Virgil muttered and sipped on his coffee.

"Well we're not going to let them die out like the lighthouse did, and we've just made a big impression on those suits in that conference hall to help with our charity... without the observatories then space observation would drop dangerously" Liam continued looking between the two older men in front of him.

"We're just doing a small part; I've been sponsoring it constantly since I noticed a drop in working observatories... over the last ten years I've saved over a hundred observatories, increasing the research for the space station program by at least 45" John added, "If the observatories went down then nothing would be there to pick up the pace, creating chaos and any further space exploration missions a dream" He continued and looked at the coffee in front of him.

"I can see how this is something you would do John, and if you're happy at what you're doing then I'll help the next time I end up in a board meeting" Scott replied knowing that if he got Tracy Industries as a whole to back up the salvation mission then there would be better chances for the aerospace technologies.

"Thanks Scott, but we've got to get going now..." John replied rising up from the table.

"We all miss you John, Dad most of all" Virgil muttered earning a surprised look from his brother.

"I'm sorry Virgil, I just don't feel ready to return to that life... you know my email address if you want to contact me" John said softly and left the coffee shop.

"I'm sorry about John; he just seems to be distant about you guys... but to be spending so much time here with the team... we're enjoying every minute of it" Liam said as he rose up onto his feet, feeling that he was being judged by appearances alone by the two older Tracy siblings.

"And wish it wouldn't end right?" Scott asked with a small smile.

Virgil rested a hand on Scott's arm, "You better catch him up, New York is a place not to get lost" He said letting the young man go.

Liam smiled, "Thanks, nice meeting you" He said taking his coffee and rushed out of the coffee shop.

Virgil watched his brother go, the young man chased after him with the two coffees in his hand. "You know, he has changed since he left the island" He said watching John until he blended with the crowd.

"He seems more relaxed and happier... hearing him at that convention was a great relief to us" Scott replied looking down at his coffee.

"I was worried for a long time Virg, when we were spending time away from the island... up in the cabin, it was like he was freed from something but I've never been able to see it until now" He continued softly.

"Since the business started out, we were just so caught up in it that we shut him out... Dad most of all" Virgil said remembering how busy they all had been in the last few months.

Tracy Industries has been very busy around the world in trying to get a new organisation set up to help for when International Rescue was called out, with help from big industrial giants like Tracy Industries in forms of grants then FEMA could receive the help and upgrades they had needed for a long time.

"I know Virg, it's mainly Dad that caused this and now he's working hard to keep it going" Scott said softly, "We're just trying so hard to keep going but I don't know if we can keep going like this" He muttered and sipped his coffee.

"If you're worried about the rescue organisation then you will turn into our father... but, as far as I'm concerned for John as long as he's happy then that's good enough for me" Virgil replied sinking back into his seat and slowly finished his coffee.

Scott sighed softly, "I'm sorry Virgil, should have realised that... what's left on the list?" He asked, remembering the shopping list that had been handed to them before they had left the island.

* * *

Waldorf Astroria, one of the finest hotels in the city of New York was where John and Liam were booked in for their stay in the large city. It had changed over the years but still kept the classic look that it was well known for, when Liam first stepped into the hotel he felt out of place in being in an uncomfortable suit that John forced him to wear, he was glad that John did.

Everyone around them were wearing suits and rushing around, John explained that people in New York were always like this before checking in and refused help from the bellboy in finding their room.

Their room, a luxury double bed suite with a luxurious bathroom that shone under the artificial light but John closed the door on it and threw his beaten up duffel bag on to one of the beds. "Just relax Liam, they can't kick us out of here... if they try then we'll go elsewhere" He said before kicking his shoes off.

Or at least that is what he told him, now Liam threw off his suit and wandered off to the shower. His friend had stayed downstairs talking to someone on his phone while sat at the bar, _Meeting his brothers must have done something to him, I know I don't get on with my family but John hardly spoke about his since coming back to the observatory _Liam thought to himself as he continued to undress while letting the shower run until the right temperature.

"Just how do I forget something like that Brian? After all that had happened or has been said, things like that doesn't go away" John said quietly talking to one of his publicists that had gone to college with him, his best friend since then.

"I don't understand all of it John and I still think you need a long talk with Wendy but your work has improved over these last few months" Brian replied, sounds of papers rustled in the background of their phone conversation.

"I guess it has but seeing my brothers today like that... I know they mean well but what Scott said about Dad, about how he misses me" John stopped and sighed looking down at the glass in his hands.

"What did he say John?" Brian asked pushing his friend into talking.

"He says that he misses me, only because he doesn't know where I am! Not at the island that is their home or at work... one way or another, he isn't in control of me like he use to be" John replied with a sigh shaking the glass in his hands, the ice taping the side of the glass.

"You're in a bar aren't you?" Brian asked hearing the clink of the glass and sighed, "John, I really think you need to talk to Wendy... I can get her to call you if you would like but please be careful around the alcohol" He asked in an almost pleading tone.

John sighed, "It's only a double whisky Brian and it's my first... I won't get drunk, I hate the hangovers in the morning" He said thinking of his room mate in the hotel room upstairs.

"So when can I expect more work from you? This book is getting good, the last part with the theories has got me intrigued" Brian asked changing the subject.

John smiled and started going through the ideas he had gathered together loosing himself in the work, drinking the glass slowly and asked for refills as he lost himself amongst his work.

* * *

Liam looked up from the book he had brought along with the trip, though his mind wasn't on the pages but something else. He kept thinking how John was the first time he had come up the observatory, asides from being tired and had a small squeak in his voice he looked happy just to be there but now he seemed that he had settled down into their smaller family.

_He's just opening up, I guess he'll confess soon _Liam thought to himself before a knocking at the door got his attention, jumping off the bed he opened the door to find a member of the hotel staff helping keep John on his feet.

"We saw that he was getting drunk down at the bar, we brought him up so he can get some sleep" The staff member said softly, seeing that his charge was starting to succumb to sleep against him. He felt that this happened on a regular occurrence but then this was New York City he lived in.

"Oh I'm sorry, he's usually not like this... please bring him in, I'll help you get him to the bed" Liam said surprised how John had let himself get drunk, from what he remembered that the ex-astronaut was a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

With one arm over his own shoulders, together they got him onto the bed and the snoring begun. Liam winced feeling that it was going to be a long night, "Thank you very much, I'll be fine but I believe that we're going to need toast and mineral water for breakfast tomorrow" He said knowing that he would have to get his friend to eat something to help with the hang over.

"That'll be fine, I'll leave a reminder down at the kitchen for you" The staff member replied and left the room.

Liam sighed and got his friend comfortable for the long night, if it was anything like the last time then it would prove to be a interesting but tiring night.

* * *

Liam was right, it was interesting and tiring. John had gone from being angry and throwing everything he could get from the reach of his bed, which was thankfully just a few books and the mountain of pillows from the bed; to crying into hysterics before falling back to sleep.

The young scientist wondered about contacting the ex-astronaut's family and ask what the talk about a space station was about but dismissed it when John woke up and wobbled off to the bathroom making him wince hearing the alcohol starting to come out of the man's system.

Liam sighed and got up from the slump he had sunk into in the corner of the room before heading over to the bathroom, he had left the light on after his shower but stopped to retrieve a blanket for the young man.

Ignoring the mixture of smells in the bathroom, his nose wrinkled up but continued to support John through the worst parts of the hangover. He got a glass of water and helped him sip it between heaves while the blanket went over his shoulders.

"Feel better?" Liam asked softly as the heaves stopped for now, he received a nod for his trouble.

"Two glasses of water then back to bed" He then ordered refilling the glass and made John drink before helping him back over to bed.

"I'm sorry Liam, we were going to go sightseeing tomorrow weren't we? But they had to reappear and ruin everything... just because I'm not there to help them with their precious organisation! To pilot their stupid satellite!" John muttered in his tipsy stupor as they crossed the room.

"But you're not with them any more John, you're with me at the observatory with the freedom to come and go as you please and to work on your book in peace" Liam reminded, feeling that another crying episode was about to come up.

"Gone from living in space with at least two days here on earth to living on this earth with you, seems like a good exchange" John mumbled before falling asleep against Liam.

The younger man sighed and groaned as he half carried half dragged the young man across to the messy bed, helping him out of his clothes, and into the bed.

Closing the thick curtains and shutting off the main lights, leaving the bathroom light on, Liam settled himself down on his own bed, returning to his book.

* * *

Liam woke up to hearing the familiar sound of John groaning and muttering in the bathroom. He grinned and got up from his bed slowly making his way to the bathroom finding the door closed and locked, so he turned around and started to clear up the mess that was scattered around the bedroom.

He gathered the pillows and small cushions from the corners of the room, and the blankets that lay across the bed in a messy state. Liam remade the beds and was about to start on clearing the papers off the floor when a knock came at from the hotel room's door, "Will you get that" John called from the shower, his voice muffled by the shower and the bathroom door.

Walking over, Liam opened it and discovered the staff from room service. "Ah room service! That's great, can you put it on that table for me" Liam said with a grin letting the man in before retrieving his wallet to give him a tip before helping him out.

"John! Breakfast!" Liam called hearing the shower had stopped.

"I'm not eating Liam, why did I get drunk" John's muffled reply came.

Liam sighed and walked to the bathroom, finding the door closed. "Want to talk about it?" He asked through the closed door.

"Not at the moment, we just got so much to do... with picking up the new parts then the grocery shopping once we get back to the observatory" John's voice answered and the door opened to revealed a slightly awake man.

Liam sighed and crossed his arms against his chest, "Well I guess breakfast is first, then we should get on" He said sounding disappointed that his friend would be in a foul mood for the rest of the time in the city, walking off to the main lounge and crashed out on the couch.

John placed a arm over his eyes as he stretched out on the leather couch, "Next time I go to a bar, come with me so this doesn't happen" He muttered as Liam walked over and sat on the floor by the table.

Liam looked up and shrugged, "Doesn't bother me what you do John, you're your own man now right? That's what you said the first time you came out and partied with us a few months ago" He said before getting up to call room service for coffee.

John uncovered his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, _I did say that didn't I _He thought to himself.

* * *

Two months had passed since John left the island, mostly spent backpacking across America trying to decide what to do as he kept low and make it think that his brothers would loose contact with him.

He found himself getting a private jet to the Swiss Alps, during his journeys he heard that International Rescue had announced that it would be off the air for a few months due to some heavy renovations needed.

_More like the redesign of the organisation _John thought to himself as he focused on landing the plane at the private airstrip, toeing it to a hanger with ease. He closed it and locked the jet down before leaving it.

"Well if it isn't John Tracy himself" A familiar voice called him out of his musing, making him look around as he left the hanger and smiled a smile that lit up his eyes and heart.

"Liam O'Keeffe, it is... what are you doing here?" John replied walking over to his old college friend, greeting him with a hug and a pat on the back.

"Well heard that there's a stranger heading to these parts for some low time, so thought come and get you... on a supply run anyway" Liam replied with a grin and nodded towards the Jeep parked up close by.

"Need a hand?" John replied as they walked over to the vehicle, opening the back and threw his bags in there.

"Sure, its mainly grocery shopping! Got a whole list too, Joey made it out for me" Liam replied with a roll of his eyes as he climbed into the drivers side.

John smiled and climbed into the passenger side, "What are you doing here though? Last I heard from you, you were up somewhere in the Rocky Mountains" He asked as he secured the seatbelt before Liam started up the truck and drive away from the airstrip.

"Well got bored up there, that and the observatory had to shut down because the telescope needed updating but didn't have the money for it... so NASA took it off our hands, so now its fully automated" Liam replied before coughing a little. "So now we're here and things are running smoothly for now, well was until the village got the nasty bug going around" He added before covering a sneeze.

"Came at a rough time then, I just got over a illness myself..." John said leaning back in the chair as Liam reached for the packet of tissues on the dashboard, wiping at his eyes and nose.

"Want to drive back to the observatory after we get the shopping?" Liam asked as he stuffed the used tissue into his pocket, making John wince.

"Sure" John replied and turned to look out of the window as the mountainous landscape passed by as they drove towards the small town.

_

* * *

_

"Oh hi, this is the right room?" The young brunette man asked backing away and looked at the door then around the room.

"Apartment 595, then yeah but don't worry you hardly won't see me" The young blonde young man replied looking up from sorting out through his laundry.

"_Oh, well I'm Liam O'Keeffe... I guess I'm your room mate" Liam introduced himself with a smile as he re-entered the room, bringing a battered green suitcase with him. _

"_I'm John, John Tracy" John replied with a smile, throwing some socks into the laundry basket._

"Isn't your father the owner of that enterprise that's growing?" Liam asked thinking about the things he had heard over the news and internet.

"_It is, but I prefer space exploration myself after all... that's why I'm here" John replied with a smile, "Well not here now, sorting through my laundry but studying here" He added with a laugh as he turned around and picked up the laundry basket. _

"_Oh the room just there can be yours, and the kitchen has just been cleaned and organised... I'll give you a tour later when I've come back, I'll be gone for a hour or so visiting the laundrette" John soon added after throwing a few books in with his dirty laundry, the basket resting under his arm. _

_Liam watched his new room mate leave, before looking around the apartment he would be sharing over the next few years. Slowly entering the bedroom he found it bare asides from the essentials; bed, chest of drawers, bookshelf and bin. He found that the window overlooked the park, with the car park hidden by the main campus blocks so that none of the street lights glared into the accommodation. _

_What Liam was thankful of was that the windows had been redressed, fresh thick cream curtains lined them in the place of the thin frilly fabric that he had heard from friends that had studied here in the past. _

_Dumping his rucksack and duffel bag onto the bed he sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed softly, 'Well a Tracy, they may be famous in the future' Liam thought to himself before he shoved the bags off the bed and stretched out with a sigh. _

* * *

Scott finished unloading the bags containing a few new books that he had brought, a few of them that he knew that the other members of the family might like or find useful in their own work amongst the business.

Sitting down on the bed, he leaned back onto his pillows staring up at his bare ceiling. He thought about how comfortable John looked when they had saw him in New York around his young friend, _I wonder how he is now, probably buried in work at the observatory somewhere_ He thought to himself with a groan as he got back up onto his feet.

A knock came from his door, "It's open" Scott called as he walked over to his balcony to look out over the jungle view from his room.

Gordon slowly came into his brother's room, "Um Scott, there's something going on with John's room... it keeps beeping but I thought that his computer had been shut off" He said, everyone knew that John's computer was one of the things that no one touched. Ever.

"We better see if it is, as I'm sure it has been shut off since he left" Scott replied with a sigh, walking over to join his brother and they left to go into John's room.

They instantly felt like they were walking into a private sanctuary, one filled with the feeling of an ancient library that had not been disturbed in over a thousand years. Everything had a place from childhood toys and inventions, to complete manuscripts of published books. Then there was spaces revealing things missing, like books or folded up diagrams that must have been taken away when John left the island.

"Just didn't realise how much life John actually did bring into this room" Gordon whispered, afraid that if he was too noisy then it would upset the sleeping memories around them.

"I know what you mean Gord, but John was hardly in this room so it's just a surprise to see how things are in here... but now he's gone that this just feels like a memory to him for us to remember him by" Scott replied.

Gordon nodded as a silent reply, "Just feels strange" He said softly as he looked at the photos on the clean, organised desk. Some of them he didn't even recognize, he lifted one to get a better look.

"Is this when he was at college?" Gordon asked looking at the photo and handed it to Scott for him to look at it, "But then this is a side I don't remember of him... but then I guess now that he's gone that we are thinking like this" He added softly looking at another photo before putting it back down.

He walked over to the computer and checked it over, "It is shut off, straight from the mains itself" Gordon told his brother, who was still looking at the photo.

"This guy looks familiar" Scott said softly and then the soft beeping started, it sounded muffled. "What is that? It sounds like our wristcoms" He added after listening to it for a while.

"It's the beeping that I've heard before, it sounds like it's coming from under his bed" Gordon said getting on his hands and knees and looked under the bed listening for the beeping, he found a shoebox that was beeping constantly now.

"Sounds like something is running out of power in there" Scott said sitting down on the bed as Gordon tucked his legs under him leaning on his knees.

"Wonder what it is" Gordon replied as he lifted the box and found a stack of letters held together by a rubber band, he lifted those out and found more pictures of John and a few others roughly the age before and during NASA.

"This is his secret box, we've all got one..." Scott muttered going through the letters, seeing the addresses written on the back. "These must have been letters from his old friends before we started the organisation... then he went to emails" He added softly looking through the photos, a small frown growing.

"I've found it, it's a watch... a digital watch" Gordon said opening the box finding the small silver watch with a digital clock on it. It was beeping because of a set alarm, Gordon lifted it out of the box and looked it over, "This is a nice piece of work" He muttered running his fingers over it, turning it over and found an engraving in the back.

_L O'K, to help keep time _is what the engraving said in small circular writing, around the edge of the back of the watch.

Scott put the photos down, one remaining in his hand. "This is why, why couldn't we see it... all the times we took him out to clubs and searched for girls, he was just never comfortable" He muttered softly.

Gordon looked up confused to what his brother was saying, "I don't understand Scott, but this watch was just marking this week... but now the alarm stops midnight tonight" He said with a soft sigh returning the watch to the box then put everything back in the shoebox.

"Let's just get out of here before Dad finds us in here, OK?" Scott asked as he helped put things back, tucking the photos and letters back into the box before Gordon returned it there.

Gordon nodded and got back up onto his feet.

* * *

John yawned and sighed as he stretched. He looked over for the time but couldn't make it out so he just turned over to lay on his stomach hearing his friend sleeping close by on the other side of the room.

It had been over a week since the trip to New York, bringing up many memories for the ex-astronaut most of which had caused him some heartache while others helped him remember who he once was before the draining life of International Rescue's operator cost him.

Liam continued to snore close by, they had had a late night with the arrival of a meteor shower that needed to be watched then spent four hours trying to get through to the owner of one of the private satellites as it had received damage in that same shower.

Getting out of the bed softly, he looked over at Liam finding him still fast asleep before leaving the room to head to their kitchen, feeling the need for a coffee before a shower today.

John couldn't stop thinking about what had happened since the last email message he had had with Liam then to his week of being on the island, catching that unknown bug. Then the chaos of recovering from the meningitis scare, revealing some home truths about how the middle born son felt about the organisation and how he felt that he wasn't a member of the family.

The coffee machine started to warm up with soft bubbling noises while John stared out at the bright snow covered countryside around their cabin and observatory, his blue eyes looked troubled and distant as he remembered the past.

He thought about the time he had got to spend with Scott, even though in the past they would have gone to every other club in attempt to get John to actually have a normal bachelor type life style that the Tracy boys were famous for.

With a small laugh, John worked his way around the kitchen thinking that he might as well start breakfast now that he was awake, get some work done if he could after having his shower.

"J-John? It's too early for breakfast" Liam's voice came from behind him, his Irish accent strong as he slowly woke up scratching his stomach and leaned in the doorway of the kitchen. His hair was ruffled, making it stick up everywhere.

"I couldn't sleep any longer so I thought I'll get started on breakfast, you can go back to bed if you like... once I got the coffee on the go though" John said turning to face his friend with a grin.

"That I won't be able to sleep, you're right! Dibs on the shower" Liam replied before yawning, walking off to the bathroom for a shower.

John shook his head and carried on with breakfast, thinking over a few things but one thing kept interrupting his thoughts. And that was his friend and colleague, the one guy that saw him in his lowest moments and still was there for him.

He thought about how Liam was in college, then later in NASA and now, here he was helping John find himself away from the chaos of the Tracy lifestyle. He found himself uncomfortable with the rich lifestyle that they had left, when they did go on mainland then it was with false identities or hidden ones to keep away from the press.

John inwardly laughed as he remembered when the Zero-X project fell into danger, he was up in Thunderbird Five like always and felt left out when they had abandoned the island just for a party. He tried to have a go at his father over that irresponsible action but it went on like Jeff never heard him, the satellite operator was thankful that no rescues had came up over that night.

Jumping back away from the sizzling fat in the pan as he turned the bacon over, John was brought out of his depressing thoughts before working on fixing bacon hearing the shower over the noise of the kitchen.

He switched his thoughts to what they had to do today, thinking of the work waiting for them in the observatory. But his mind wandered to more recent thoughts that had been bothering him since John had came back here to work like a normal person on the planet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Tears **

**Chapter Seven**

_Harvard University_

"_Come on John, one more drink! You've got something to celebrate" Sam said with a grin, laying an arm across the blonde Tracy's shoulders. _

_Liam grinned watching the tipsy antics of their classmate from the other side of the table. _

"_No Sam, think two is enough for me... anymore and we won't be able to get into the dorm" John replied putting the empty glass down on the table and threw a tired look at his roommate. _

_Liam shrugged his shoulders, "One more can't hurt, Sam's right... imagine NASA jumping you like that? Or me for that matter!" He said with a grin before throwing back the rest of his drink._

_Sam clapped his hands and ran off to order the next round. _

"_Surely your family must be proud" Liam said quietly, straining his voice as much as he could over the loud sounds of the bar around them._

"_They are, they want me to return home until NASA calls for me... I can't wait to see who is there but still" John stopped and sighed before smiling softly. _

"_Just see your family! NASA will call even before you get your bags unpacked, you'll see" Liam replied with a grin his fingers randomly playing with the empty glass. _

_John smiled and nodded, "You're right, now we should really leave after this round... I'm the only one with the combination to get into our room" He said with a grin, knowing how his roommate constantly forgot the code. _

**  
John groaned when he was poked in the arm, slowly waking up to find that he was up in the observatory leaning against his desk that he used up there.

"W-what?" He asked roughly while yawning with a stretch, wincing as he felt his back complain about how stiff it was.

"Just thought wake you up before I had to help you move" Liam replied with a grin before moving back over to his computer, wheeling over by the wheels of his office chair.

John shook his head as he yawned again and got up, stretching up to his full height before walking over to look over the younger man's shoulder.

"Looks good, right on our calculations... emailed NASA?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah I have, no reply though... so they must not be taking us serious again, wouldn't be the first time" Liam replied.

"Well I could call them, still have a few arms I could pull out of joint to get them to listen" John muttered thoughtfully, they had to contact the National Aeronautics and Space Administration or NASA for short to warn them of Comet Glacia's path.

"Wow Johnny! Like it when you talk like that" Liam replied as he got up, stretching himself. "I'm off for coffee" He added quickly and rushed off down to the kitchen below them.

John laughed a little and wandered over to his own station to look up the numbers he needed to start calling some old contacts, he thought that his Dad had contacts over the planet but the older blond son knew a few important people around.

The smile and laugh soon disappeared from his body thinking about his family again, and realised that he had almost typed the number for the island before putting the receiver down on the phone. He sunk down into his chair and buried his head into his hands with a groan, it had been four months since he had last had contact with his family but John still didn't know if it was a good thing to break the contact like this.

Liam watched silently as his friend continued to try and hide how much leaving his family was hurting him, he just wished that there was some way that he could help asides from doing what he was doing now. Just being there for his old friend, but he was inwardly suffering too, having to push down what they once had.

Inwardly sighing to himself, he walked off downstairs to the kitchen and made up the promised coffees before digging around the cupboards and grinned to himself, he found one way to cheer his friend up.

* * *

The wind blew through the tropical palm trees that bent over the white sandy peaceful beaches, the bright blue ocean's waves washing up on the shore with a soft hiss before falling back, taking sand and pebbles with it into the unknown depths.

The humid tropical wind worked its way through the lush, yet deadly tropical jungle. It worked its way through the thick foliage until it found a gap and brushed across a lone body laid out on the sun deck of the expensive looking complex that housed family and friends alike.

The young man groaned and rose his hand up to adjust the parasol slightly before sinking back into his sleep, everyone was resting or elsewhere on the island leaving the oldest Tracy sibling to take it easy in the peace and quiet or to his own thoughts.

Another one of the five sons was out on the sun deck, enjoying the peaceful view of the island but lost within the world of paint and colours as he painted something unseen to anyone except the painter himself. The canopy slowly being covered in the mysterious image, only once has it been completed then would it be ready to be shown to the rest of the family.

Everyone else was scattered around the island, the father of the five sons was lost within his own work with a mixture of thoughts and concerns about things that he wished to have forgotten. A cup of coffee lying on his desk almost cold, his attention long since diverted away from it while he continued to work through the load that kept coming from his business.

He sighed and looked up at the photo on his desk, it looked out of place amongst all of the business work but recently he felt that it should be there along with the portraits that hung up evenly spaced on the wall in front of him.

There were six portraits all hiding a secret communication device, their eyes would flash when one of the channels were activated or hid other monitors for various devices or systems. Five were the sons of the Tracy family while another, a close family friend living a semi-peaceful life in England, United Kingdom.

He kept staring at the photo, his pen hovering over the plans of a new vehicle waiting to be accessed, he was wondering how distant his middle son was when he saw him on the mainland but that was well over two months ago now.

"The answers aren't there or at your desk at all Jeff, I thought you would have learnt that a long time ago" A voice made the man look up and sigh.

"Mother, don't sneak around like that" Jeff replied and straightened up, leaning back into his chair.

"Such an air of gloom fills this place, even the youngest boys haven't tried anything for a while" Grandma Tracy continued as she sat down on the couch, looking towards the sun deck seeing the two oldest lost in their own worlds.

"That's because we're all blaming ourselves for that failed rescue just last month, I know the boys tried their best but I feel that it hit something close to home for them" Jeff muttered softly, "I have offered them a break away from the island, away from active duty but they can't forget it... they can't forget the organisation and their responsibility to the people on this planet"

"I don't think I can either, I have tried and even thought about going back out there with them to help with the rescues even though I may be a burden to them" He continued, standing up and walked about in front of his crowded desk.

"Maybe what John had told us is really sinking in to us, I want to try and invite him back mother but I'm not sure if he will accept... I heard he lives up in the Swiss Alps now, up in one of the observatories with a small team working with him"

The matriarch of the family smiled, "Sounds like he's found himself, that's my Johnny, he was always so confused and lost until he made a small circle of friends" She replied, "He isn't like the others, he doesn't make friends so easily but when he does then it tends to be a very small circle of them"

"However it is time that you went and visited your son once more, but this time try and be more gentle and understanding about it... don't approach him in a crowd that can easily confuse you or him" She suggested with a soft smile, "Try and understand what John does with his life, what he has been trying to do all his life since having to forget a big part of that for the soul responsibility of Thunderbird Five"

"But Thunderbird Five wasn't just his responsibility, it was Alan's too" Jeff interrupted.

"No Dad, I was hardly up there... I could never handle being up there long periods of time, because of the quietness of space, or just because I'm too use to living down here amongst you all" Alan muttered, coming into the room with a towel around his neck. "I did try and stay up there before but you called me down to help cover duties down here when John was quite capable to"

"So what was it Jeff? Is it that you prefer having your ground crew here and John up in that space station? Was it that he wasn't able to run the organisation and the company like you would prefer it?" Grandma Tracy asked looking up at Jeff from her place on the couch.

Alan flinched at the tone in his grandmother's voice and looked to his father, seeing dark circles under his father's eyes and the small glimmer of emotion usually missing from his features.

"I didn't want to lose him mother, I thought putting him up there away from it all would help me keep him out of harm's way... but when he begged me to go out on that rescue" Jeff stopped himself and sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly before walking over to his chair, sitting down on it heavily.

"He reminds me too much of your mother Alan, I know you've got the same eyes and hair as your mother, just like Virgil shares her gift in the arts... all of you have got some spark of her inside of her but John has most of all..." He continued softly as Alan sat down next to his grandmother calmly.

All the years that had passed since they lost their mother, Jeff has never talked so openly about it to anyone. Well to what everyone knew, occasionally had a small talk with John about it but even then that was rare and strained. Not like now.

They remained silent, wanting Jeff to continue to let his inner emotions come out after being buried deep down inside of him for so long.

Jeff rested his head in his hands for a little while, gathering his thoughts and took a few slow deep breaths to calm his body, his heart and mind down before looking up at his mother and his youngest son.

"I guess I miss her more than I thought, I feel ashamed that I treated John the way I have all these years... what we once had, talking last thing had seemed to have disappeared along with how much we all have changed we first started the organisation" He started softly, "We started this in her memory, we all agreed to it, and that's partially why John went off to become a astronaut to begin with... not that any of us could stop him" He added with a soft smile at the memory.

Alan and Grandma Tracy just returned the smile and nodded, then made themselves comfortable as Jeff continued to talk to them. There were years of hurt, grief, guilt and other emotions to be lifted off the old man's chest.

* * *

"What are you doing with that wrench?" John asked, looking up at his friend from his place on the couch.

"I'm going to beat up that boiler with it, it's cut off the hot water enough in the mornings as it is" Liam replied, glaring at his friend.

John sighed and replaced his bookmark in his place of his book, putting it on the table close by along with his glasses. He rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, "I think if anyone is going to tackle the boiler, then it should be me or Joey" He said as he got up with a stretch.

"So hand over the wrench and I'll sort it, meanwhile you better get dressed before the heating packs in too" He added with a grin, seeing his friend running around in a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts.

"Well thought about going to the greenhouse you've cleverly installed after cleaning the bathroom, which is when noticed that we've got no hot water" Liam replied with a shrug, handing over the wrench and disappeared off to get some clothes.

John smiled and shook his head; he took his glasses off the table and put them in his pocket before going to get his coat to take a look at the main water tank outside. He knew that if it was the hot water tank then the problem could be outside, or one of the pipes down in the basement, which he hated going down into.

Slipping his coat on, he thought about the last few weeks, in how they had slipped into a comfortable pattern while the skies were quiet. They had set up a rota for them to check the telescopes, even though John had set up a computer program to alert them of any activity that wasn't satellites or the very rare and occasional shuttle.

It has gone off once but that was soon sorted by them both, someone bouncing curious signals off their dish just to satisfy their own curiosity but they were able to shake off the attack and soon continued monitoring an incoming meteor shower sending the circuit of observatories into three solid days of mixing and matching data.

Breathing in the chilled air of the Alps, John looked up at the blue skies to clear his head letting the cold breeze sooth him a little before walking around the cabin to get to the shed where they kept the boilers. He found it had been frozen over by the blizzard the previous night, so had to kick the snow and ice away from the door before he attempted to get it open.

A phone in his pocket started to ring, forcing John to stop and answer it. "H-hello" He muttered, leaning against the shed.

"_Frozen over again, huh? Want a hand?_" Liam's voice replied, sounding smug and warm.

John glared and looked down at his snow covered shoes. "What do you think?" He replied before moving away from the shed and gave it a firm kick, shaking more snow from the frame of the building.

"_I think I should get the coffee on for when you get back in, call me if you get stuck_" Liam's voice replied and the sound of the kettle being filled was heard in the background.

John switched to his hand free set before working on the door, "Are you cooking tonight? I cooked last night and breakfast" He asked, keeping up conversation while being outside.

The skies were growing dark with clouds gathering, with a strong threat of more snow. The blonde Tracy risked a glance up at it before inwardly sighing, deep down he hated the snow but now he didn't mind living in the middle of the worst place in the world to their family history. The door slowly creaked open under his gloved hands, letting him into the cramped boiler room.

"_Hmm depends, what do you feel like to eat?_" Liam replied, clinking of him moving around the kitchen in the background.

"Something hot after this, its freezing out here" John muttered as he tried the light but found the bulb gone, so used his torch instead to light up the areas he needed. He followed the pipes, but didn't touch them as he tried to find why the boiler wasn't giving them the hot water they needed.

Finding ice at one pipe, he gave it a whack with his torch, causing the device to flicker dangerously before setting out a dim light. John released a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

"_John? Hey, still with me buddy?_" Liam's voice called in his ear.

"Hmm? Sorry Liam! The pipes were iced up, what did you say?" John asked as he twisted a few of the valves with a soft groan to get them to move.

"_I did ask if my colleague would like to have stew tonight, that would keep us going for a few days and would be nice and warm for you when you get back in... got the fire burning nice and hot too, just the way you left it_" Liam replied, sounding cheeky and high spirited compared to how John was feeling at the current moment.

"Well sounds good, just don't put anything else in there asides what we've got written down on the recipe" John instructed with a slight edge to his voice as he moved to leave the boiler room, and groaned in hearing the wind starting to pick up on the other side of the door.

"_Ooh the storm is coming in fast, better hurry up or you'll get stranded in there, which I know you will hate_" Liam's voice crackled slightly on his hands free.

"I know, better get the telescope in too or we'll suffer with the damages this cold weather will do, again" John replied and took a deep breath, pushing the door open and squeezed through the gap before walking back around to the main door. His head bent down against the stormy weather, the wind cutting through his winter gear before he finally got inside.

"_Get that gear off John, no getting snow everywhere! Then you can plonk yourself back in front of that fire_" Liam's voice called from the kitchen.

John smiled softly and shook his head, feeling his cheeks sting and throb from the warmth rushing to them as he got rid of his shoes, coat and hands free set before hanging the coat and scarf up on the hooks with his gloves on the heater.

He could hear the pipes slowly warming up from his work on them, and was soon settling down in front of the fire in the main room listening to the storm outside. He stared into the hot flames, occasionally shifting in his semi-comfortable position on the thick rug as he heard Liam busy, cooking away in the kitchen behind him.

Tucking his head on his knees, he soon pushed that away and lost himself to thought of the past like he seemed to be doing often these past few months since New York, and seeing his brothers. His eyes became unfocused as he thought of his family living on their tropical island while he thought he was happy in the Swiss Alps with his long time friend.

John sighed softly and closed his eyes from the sight of the fire in front of him, he shivered a little from the chill on his back but he knew that he would soon warm up once the heating got to the room. This was the part he hated about the snow and ice that surrounded him, the same conditions that cost them something very valuable a long time ago.

* * *

Scott and Virgil paused outside the door leading up from the hangers below, listening intently to their father's voice talking softly but full of emotion. None of the family had heard their father talk like this in years, and they all knew it was coming up since John had snapped at them all before leaving the island.

They shared a look in the dim light, sharing a curious question to what triggered the release, and they had been down in the hangers most of the day fixing glitches or dents to Thunderbird Two and were completely oblivious to what was happening up here.

"Sounds like father has finally broke, I'm glad... maybe now he'll be able to go and talk to John" Scott muttered, as mentioning their missing brother was always hard on all of them and often got a snap from their father.

Virgil shook his head, "It won't be that easy, one of my contacts says he lives up in the Swiss Alps now... working at an observatory" He said in a soft whisper as they listened to the conversation.

"Guess we're all too stubborn to admit that we need John, just like he needs us... but then it did take a lot of effort to bring everyone back to the island when we started up the organisation" Scott replied, sitting down on the stairs. "I always thought that John was enthusiastic, we all were when we first started up... but I guess the years we've been at the rescue business has taken its toll on all of us"

"The deaths we've seen, the failed rescue attempts or just trying to be in two places at once... I know it's all happening less as we're slowly giving out money to rescue centres across the world to try and help with that cause..." Virgil muttered, sitting down on the step below his brother's feet.

"But we still got a long way to go, I know Virgil, I've seen the reports too... it has gotten better though, not by much when we see the numbers ourselves but at the end of the day we're human right? And like everyone else, we've got limits... and so have our machines" Scott replied, "I guess John just got tired of the limit being broken too many times... he was stretched beyond it, before all this began he was just beyond tired... I wish I knew what he did up there but when we had that holiday together I didn't want to talk about work or the life here" He continued softly, running a hand through his hair.

"I wish I did now... when we saw him in New York with his friend, that's the happiest time I've seen him in years and I'm really happy for him" Scott said softly with a smile, "That box we found in his bedroom, I can't stop thinking about it really... how many memories or letters were in there, from a life that he had to leave behind" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it there to lean against his legs.

They fell silent listening to the silence out in the main complex, with the soft words being muttered by their grandmother or by their youngest brother to try and help their father through something very trying for the leader of the family.

"He won't come back, I know he won't... at least not for a long time, but we'll cope... Tin-Tin wants to become more active, and I've been teaching her about Thunderbird Two" Virgil said softly after a while, receiving a small glare from his brother, "Don't give me that look Scott... things are changing around here so why can't we train Tin-Tin if she's showing the interest? I don't know if she's talked to Alan about it but I'm sure that they'll figure something out"

Scott sighed and looked down, "I guess not, we can try and talk to everyone tonight... I want to try and find John, check on him but I'm not sure where to really start" He replied and groaned as he got up onto his feet. "I just want to get that box to him, as I know it must be precious"

Virgil smiled and shook his head, "I'm heading back downstairs, want to finish the checks on Thunderbird Two before Kyrano calls us up for supper" He said and started climbing back down the stairs, "You know, you can try contacting his publicist... I believe his number is stored somewhere in the phone book"

Scott smiled, "Thanks Virge, I'll go and do that in my room... think I'll use the other exit so not to disturb anyone out there" He replied and joined his brother back down the stairs.

* * *

With the stew on the go needing an hour to finish cooking, Liam moved into the main room and looked down at his companion. He sighed softly in seeing that John had not moved at all from his curled up position. But what the astronomer could hear soft breathing coming from the young man.

With a small sigh, he retrieved the thick blanket from the couch behind them and carefully draped it over John's sleeping form to keep him warm even though the fire was really hot to him but as he learned over the years from hanging out with the blonde Tracy. John always felt the cold worse than anyone he knew; he had learnt it when in college then later when he joined him in NASA.

After the training to being an astronaut, John would turn the heating up in the flat to chase away the chills but now he lived here in the Swiss Alps but then he would wear enough layers for both of them when he had to go out there.

He stopped tucking the blanket around his friend when he heard soft mutters coming from his sleeping form. The normally hyperactive scientist strained to hear the soft talking before shaking his head.

"Best let you sleep for now John" Liam muttered as he stretched up from his crouch, settling himself down on the couch to read a few of the electronic journals he had printed out earlier that day.

"Am so so sorry... wasn't able to... please forgive me..." John muttered in his sleep, his tall form shrinking into a tighter ball under the blanket.

Liam frowned and looked up from his papers, he put them to one side and slowly moved down to John's side. "John?" He spoke softly, daring himself to put a hand on the man's shoulder.

"I'm really sorry.... I failed you again... I tainted her memory..." John muttered, caught up in his nightmare.

The scientist frowned and moved to put himself between the fire and the sleeping young man. "What have you done John? Who's memory have you tainted?" He asked, resting his hands on the sleeping man's shoulders.

"I failed you Dad... I failed to save that village... I didn't respond quickly enough..." John's voice turned weak and croaky, "I failed to honour mom... to why it was set up to begin with... " He croaked.

'_He thinks I'm Jeff Tracy?_' Liam first thought sitting back and shook his head, '_No... It's worse_' He took a deep breath and replied to his friend.

"Now listen to me John, no matter how many times you have failed or how many lives have been lost, you have to remember that at the end of the day that you are a human being and humans have limits"

"Now how about moving up off this floor and onto the couch where it'll be more comfortable?" Liam asked before shaking his friend, to wake him enough to get him over to the couch and watch him all into a deeper sleep.

"Hmm thanks Li" John muttered before falling into a deeper sleep.

Liam sighed rubbing the back of his neck. "Any time Johnny" He replied before going off to attend to the stew.

He thought about what John had said in his sleep as he stirred the stew, adding a few ingredients while checking the recipe.

'_Failed them? Wonder if it's something to do with his family, they use to be so close..._' He thought as he continued to stir the stew.

He had thought about hacking into John's computer a few times to try and find out more about what was happening but he didn't want to be too nosey or ruin anything that was going on in the young man's private life.

"It's starting to burn" A groggy voice muttered over his shoulder, making the scientist jump nearly spilling their cooking meal.

The spoon was caught and the heat turned down with a soft click. "Something on your mind?" John asked, sounding groggy and croaky. As the scientist looked up, he could see that the man did look tired too.

"Just a few things that I read in one of those emails I thought could do with looking over, nothing unusual" Liam replied with a smile, wondering if John remembered talking in his sleep.

John yawned and itched the back of his neck, it was then that Liam noticed the blanket resting on the astronaut's shoulders. "If you say so" He muttered and shuffled back off into the living room.

Liam shook his head and took a deep breath to calm himself down, "Better not be falling back asleep in there, food's ready!" He called after his friend, getting two big soup bowls out of the cupboard before starting to dish up the stew.

* * *

"You can't be serious Dad? We have tried hundreds of times before in getting Thunderbird Five to run automatic and we never could... not with a decent stable system anyway" Scott spoke up after their father's speech.

Jeff had been thinking over a few days since talking to Alan and his mother, having decided that they must carry on with their lives and especially the rescue business instead of secretly helping out the rescue organisations around the world getting more organised.

As his mind turned that, he thought about the grants and how they were being used for the much needed upgrading of the current rescue equipment most of the rescue organisations had in the current situations but over the last year or so they have gotten better and had to rely on International Rescue less and less.

"Yes Scott, I am serious... I want to try and switch Thunderbird Five to automatic, just like any other satellite" Jeff replied, earning weary glances from his sons. "It will require all of you, including Brains to go up there and replace most of the circuit boards on the consoles... we have been working together to configure a computer down here for Thunderbird Five only, networked to the station" Jeff explained, "Isn't that right Brains?"

"T-t-that is c-correct M-Mr Tracy, t-the d-d-d-blueprints are r-right here" Brains replied, picking up the rolled up blueprints for Thunderbird Five's new circuitry. There were notepads with diagrams and notes written in the genius's curvy writing.

Scott glared at the prints, "So what? Are you giving up that John will return back to the island, back to this family?" He asked, looking up at their father feeling his brothers sat around the room. "I have seen John on mainland the last time we were there and I know he looks happy, happier than have ever seen him since we started up International Rescue... but I thought that given time, he may return"

Virgil sighed from his place at the piano, "I don't think John will yet Scott, we do need to continue on with the organisation... I'm with you Dad, let's get the space station back up and running" He replied, earning a soft sigh from the couch where Alan sat with Tin-Tin.

"I don't like playing with her systems without John's say so but if we haven't got him here..." Alan muttered and looked at Tin-Tin, who gently squeezed his hand. "I'm going to send him an email to say that we're going ahead with this, just want him to know what we're going to" He added.

"He does have a right to know, we do need to get back to work in the organisation... wonder if that'll help John figure out what he needs to do" Gordon muttered quietly and felt the room fall into a uncomfortable silence.

Grandma Tracy broke the silence, "John will choose his own life like he is at the moment, and if he's happy in that then I say then who are we to stop him enjoying his life here on earth?" She spoke softly, looking around at everyone from her seat near the desk. "I for one am glad that you boys want to get back to the rescue business but as for your brother, then how about we let him choose what he wants to do"

Alan and Gordon shared looks at each other before looking over at Virgil, who nodded before looking at Scott.

The eldest son sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "You're right Grandma, we do need to get back to business... so Brains, what do we have to do?" He asked, walking up to the genius to learn the plans of action.

* * *

"Got it all down? Yeah that's all the parts we need for here, I'll give Kira a call to see if he needs anything but for now can you get that order done for us?" Liam asked, tapping his pen on the pad of paper that had a list of essential circuit boards and parts that needed a desperate replacement.

"So when are we able to collect it?" He asked and listened to the lady on the other end, he sighed wondering how long it would take this time. "Three weeks? Are you flirting with me, because it sounds like it" Liam asked, leaning back in his seat.

"Yeah well sorry darling, you definitely don't sound like my type... I've got work to do, so if you can send that email with the invoice then that'll be great" He said and nodded, "Yeah, that's right... thanks, bye" He added and put the phone down with a sigh.

"Ugh" He moaned, throwing the pen on the desk and rubbed his eyes.

A low chuckle got his attention behind him, "You'll get grey hair if you continue that" The voice spoke.

"Like you, you mean?" Liam teased, opening his eyes and looked at his companion upside down before straightening, turning around to face him.

"I'm blonde, I can get away with it and not as vain in looks as you are" John replied, spinning his friend around and leaned on the back of the chair to look at the messy desk. He read the notepad with a small frown, "Looks like we'll have some hard work ahead of us if we're to get our telescope back up and running on this new network"

"It's been a month since the network has first been announced, it's a real pain! Why do we have to join it?" Liam asked and waited for the answer he had heard a few times in the past month.

"Well you know the main reason, but the real reason is that we're probably assisting International Rescue... don't ask me how I know, but I believe that we are, just think of how this network is being set up" John replied leaning against the desk.

"How every small rescue organisation has suddenly joined this growing internet community, to be more connected with each other and getting help in upgrading their equipment... their communication systems have been upgraded too, not as good as some companies but enough to get rescue calls through to someone that could handle it quickly and safely for the rescuers" He continued and wondered about contacting the island to confirm his suspicions.

He shook his head and stepped away from his friend, "But for now we just have to integrate our systems and install some very special firewalls that I've got in mind, so that we can continue doing our own work without anyone else knowing"

Liam spun around and looked up at his friend, "There's the college Johnny I know of, so how about we drive down to the village and get supplies before we start work? You know that once you start then there's no stopping you until it's complete" He replied with a grin, jumping out of the chair with a stretch.

John smiled and shrugged, "Why not, checked the weather this morning and we're not due to have a storm for a while yet... so let's just stock up while we can, right?" He replied and walked off to get changed into some warmer clothes for their journey down into the village.

It took just over two months but the world had changed, the rescue organisations around the planet had been organised or had received generous grants to update their equipment to carry out more rescues in awkward situations but that didn't stop them calling out International Rescue when things were too much for them.

It seemed that the amount of rescue calls International Rescue were receiving had dropped, or were requesting advice from a rescue unit just starting out. It wasn't easy going but then this was only just starting up properly and nothing like this has been tried before.

Thunderbird Five was updated to handle all the calls and information it was receiving and sending to different units across the world, needing a regular maintenance to keep all its systems running smoothly. Brains had made himself at home amongst the computers and processors up there while working out all of the bugs and complications on the satellite, he was starting to feel how John must have felt as the Tracy family was his family too.

He received regular calls from the island, almost daily to help keep him occupied along with his work. The Tracy family was kept busy with the updates of the other Thunderbird machines and rescue equipment but what the genius discovered one day while exploring around the workshop of the geostationary satellite was blueprints of a vehicle in the works.

It was really hard to make out what it was suppose to be with calculations and sketches all over the plans with rushed writing on it but he could try and recreate what it was suppose to look like, he wondered what the older blonde Tracy brother was trying to create in moments of loneliness and boredom.

He would remember to take this with him when he got off the satellite, when Thunderbird Three arrived with the new components he had asked for to recreate some of the computer systems up here to run more smoothly.

Hearing a bleeping sound from the main console, he recognized it as Thunderbird Three requesting docking and knew that he had to get to work with the crew quickly so they all could return to the island.

"Li, come on! I've got everything... yes, I've got that" John spoke into his phone as he leaned on the trolley looking down into its contents. "Yes, I've got the wine but why do you use so much?" He asked and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So is that everything on the list up there? I've got almost everything but the vegetables on this list" He continued the conversation as he navigated around the shop, all he wanted to do was get back up there especially with the threat of bad weather later in the day.

The blonde Tracy looked around the shelves as he walked by them, looking for inspiration for what to cook tonight before sighing. "Liam, come on man... we can't have that again! If I see another jacket potato for the fifth night running then I think I will go insane..." He replied to his friend's chatter.

"I'll cook, and I mean it this time... no computer work for me tonight, just cook and help you wash up before settling down in front of the fire" John said with a smile and waited for the bad acting to come down the phone.

As it arrived he laughed and shook his head, "Li, come on! We've been at that for months; we do need a break now and then! I know that our telescope isn't just right at the moment but we can't do anything with all that cloud cover at the moment" He continued and walked around the shop once more to check for something.

* * *

Jeff Tracy couldn't believe he had allowed himself to get talked into coming here, it was something that he could always find a way to talk himself out of when it came to visiting snow filled towns such as this. A lonely little town tucked high up in the Swiss Alps, he wondered what possessed his son to move from a tropical paradise to here.

He sighed and looked at the address that was written down for him; he brought the hired land rover to a stop and looked around at the village. He couldn't see any road signs to point him the right direction and sighed, hoping that he could find someone to give him directions to the observatory.

The wind blew harshly, banging loose blinders on the windows against the side of the buildings. The signs outside shops and the local pub banged and twisted in the same wind, giving the whole abandoned feeling to the area.

He tucked his hands into his pockets after locking the SUV and walked towards the small store, he felt the bit of paper in between his fingers as the warmth of the shop hit him through the thick Arctic coat he had brought before coming up here.

Jeff thought about how his mother had gotten this information and practically forced it on him, after these few months he felt that he should visit his son to try and talk to him. Although last time it wasn't on friendly terms, he thought about how cold his son had been to him.

'_What I've done to him, how I pushed him away in fear of him being hurt out on a rescue... wonder if I can get that through to John_' He thought to himself and looked around, He took a deep breath and headed over to the checkouts, ignoring the children playing around their parents or other people of the village all hiding in here from the cold.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could give me directions" Jeff asked softly, trying to keep his voice calm while inwardly there was a emotional battle going on as he tried to prepare himself for coming face to face with his son since that meet nearly a year ago.

"Oh hi, that's good that most of us speak English here isn't it?" The man behind the desk replied with a grin and waved at someone walking behind Jeff.

"Um, yes... quiet" Jeff replied, surprised by the energy coming from this staff member. "Can you help me find the observatory?" He asked, ignoring the laughter behind him as the people passed by him to go outside. Their arms loaded with shopping, he glanced at them but they both had hoods up with thick coats and gloves on.

"Which one? There are two, one to the south of here while the nearest is up in the mountains" The man replied watching the people that just left walk over to a beaten up SUV. "But if you're looking for the nearest one, then I suggest you run before they leave" He nodded at the two men that had just left the store.

Jeff looked at the young men, as they loaded their truck. "Those two? OK, thanks" He replied and left the store feeling the cold wind hit him hard causing him to shiver before taking a deep breath, walking over to the couple.

* * *

John looked at the top of Liam's SUV and saw the thick snow, he glanced at his friend who was focused on checking the list and the open paper bags of shopping. He quickly scooped up some snow and threw it at his friend, laughing at the surprised reaction.

Liam was shocked and surprised by the snowball coming from his mature friend, "What the..? OK buddy, this means war!" He replied, grabbing some snow and threw it back at his friend who ducked and continued to laugh.

"You missed" John replied with a grin, and got another snowball ready.

"I know it's a month before Christmas, but this energy is new to you! I should get you out of that observatory and workshop more often" Liam replied with a grin, dodging the snowball and retaliated with his own. He whooped for joy when it hit his friend and dodged behind the SUV.

"Well it's a month before Christmas I know, but just glad to be down here and shopping with you" John replied with a grin and threw the snowball in his gloved hand over his friend's shelter, missing with a small plop as it hit the ground.

"Well you have locked yourself away in there for well over a month now, fixing all those busted circuits and programmes... just who sent you all that work anyway?" Liam asked, remembering the mysterious email that ruined their movie night well over a month ago.

"Can't really say at the moment Li, want to but just not sure if can" John replied and sighed, dusting himself off. "What else have we got on the list?" He asked surrendering the game to his friend, for now.

"Just the post office check and we're done" Liam replied with a shrug and pulled his hood back up, "Ugh, I'm all cold now! Thanks Johnny" He added, feeling the snow melt on the back of his neck from where it fell into the hood of his coat.

John grinned and shrugged, finding the keys in his pockets. His cheeks flushed from the cold and the small snowball game. "I'm sure you'll get revenge later, you always do" He replied and pulled his gloves off, moving closer to his friend and put his warm hands on Liam's cheeks.

"Is that any better?" He asked softly, letting his hands cool down the same time as warming his friend up.

"Much, fancy the post office run or stay here with the car?" Liam asked softly, feeling his cheeks flush from the close contact and not the warmth from his friend's hands.

John sighed, "I'll stay here, don't fancy the talk of us being single from those ladies today" He replied, taking his hands away and quickly put his gloves on. He looked up at the blue sky, watching a few fluffy clouds pass by. "Besides, you're always quicker than me to get the mail if there's any"

Liam looked up and shook his head, "Whatever Tracy, you just don't like to flirt like me" He replied and walked off towards the post office.

John moved his eyes away from the sky and watched his friend go, leaning against the SUV. He sighed and lowered his hood to rub the back of his neck, wondering a few things before looking around and felt someone watching him.

He frowned as he saw the figure standing outside the store, having just watched their snowball fight and now just stood watching him.

The blonde Tracy sighed and looked down at his boots, "Got something to say to me... Dad?" He asked loudly, looking up as he said the last word.


End file.
